Can't Be Broken
Can't Be Broken
Unbreakable with Nikki Smith
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She was the kid who always wanted to win, then a single injury forced her to redefine everything. Nikki Smith grew up in Yucaipa, found her identity in soccer, and even played on a boys traveling team before a torn ACL ended the path she’d imagined. What happens next is the part most people miss: the quiet decision to keep moving anyway. Nikki walks us through how lifting, coaching, and chasing hard challenges became her way back to strength, confidence, and mental clarity.
We also get the behind-the-scenes truth of reality competition, from American Gladiators to Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge. Nikki explains what the cameras don’t show, why putting yourself on TV is a special kind of vulnerability, and how “losing” can still be a win when you’re facing fear and refusing to let doubters write your story. If you care about fitness mindset, discipline, and real resilience, her perspective lands hard.
Then the conversation goes deeper into faith, grief, and family. Nikki shares how her father’s death and her daughter’s struggle with addiction and mental health reshaped her purpose, and why so many families stay silent when the struggle isn’t “socially acceptable.” We talk warning signs, stigma, coping traps, and what it looks like to rebuild with honesty, community, and daily habits like gratitude and movement. Nikki now pours that mission into a women’s workshop called From Broken To Becoming, blending fitness and faith-based encouragement to help others find a way forward.
If this story hits home, subscribe, share it with someone who needs hope, and leave a review so more people can find the message. What part of Nikki’s journey did you relate to most?
Welcome And Guest Introduction
SPEAKER_03What up, what up, what up, and welcome to another episode of the Can't Be Broken Podcast. I am your host, Seamonster, and today I'm with a special guest that you'll be hearing her story. What an amazing story. Uh what an amazing person she is. I'm so blessed to have her in front of me. Uh, in front of me is Nikki Smith. Uh, she's a personal trainer, an athlete, a competitor, uh, a reality TV athlete who was on American Gladiators and Broken Skull Challenge. Also a former middle school teacher, wife, and mother, which is, I think, the favor or the most important title of uh all this stuff. Uh, welcome to the show, Nikki Smith. I appreciate you.
SPEAKER_02Thank you so much. I'm so excited and happy to be here, just ready to share my story.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, no, I thank you so much. Uh obviously, it's been um somebody told me about your story. Um, I was busy. This is my fault for not bringing you on the show earlier. But we're here.
SPEAKER_02It's all about the perfect timing, right? And I feel like this is absolutely the the most perfect timing for this interview.
SPEAKER_03So I appreciate you. I appreciate you coming on here and uh um and sharing your story. Uh tell us a little bit and tell the people a little bit about yourself, where you grew up, um, and uh yeah, tell everybody a little bit about your story of kind of like your upbringing and whatnot.
Growing Up Competitive In Sports
SPEAKER_02All right. Um, so I grew up in Yukaipa, California. So that's um east on that tin, uh heading towards Palm Springs. A lot of people don't know um where Yukaipa is. So it's a small town, it's grown tremendously, but um pretty small.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, so I grew up there my entire life. Um, went to school there. Um as a child, um, I was really into sports. I found soccer at a young age. And so at the age of five, my parents put me into soccer. I loved it. Um, I excelled. Um, and I think that was the start of like my love for fitness and just movement and athletics. Um, I was always super competitive from the time I was a young child. Um, and that's kind of where that competitiveness started again.
SPEAKER_03Was it like AYSO where you started?
SPEAKER_02Um just started. Yeah, we didn't actually in Yukaipa, we didn't have that. We had Yukaipa Valley Youth Soccer. So we didn't even have AWAS, AYSO. It was a too small for that. So yeah.
SPEAKER_03Okay, and then you started obviously playing soccer, and and I know maybe now thinking back, that's where your competitiveness started. Like just you just wanted to win.
SPEAKER_02Well, it wasn't even um just with soccer, right? Like, I don't know. I just had like an innate competitive competitiveness in me um and like aggressiveness, but not in a bad way. Like I was a sweet kid, yeah, but when it came to winning, I always wanted to win. So even like um at school with the boys, you know, my mom always told me I could do whatever boys could do. And so I was always wanting to challenge myself and push myself and show them that I could just do anything that I set my mind to. So it was just kind of more an innate um competitiveness I have.
SPEAKER_03But you have older brothers, sister, siblings?
SPEAKER_02No, I'm actually the oldest. Um, I have a younger sister, but again, I think my mom instilled that into me because she was the she had young uh older brothers, and so her mom never really let her play sports or anything. And so she really pushed me to do anything that I set my mind to.
SPEAKER_03She was I think for me, good. There was that reinforcement that the parents would be like, My parents were like, oh my god, and everybody was happy. And then I made externally, right? You hit a home run and people are cheering for you, you're like, I did something good, right? And it felt really good internally, and I'm like, Well, that's what I want to feel all the time.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely, I I could see that, definitely. Yes.
SPEAKER_03Um, and and and my parents really reinforce that, right?
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_03Um, and just the feel-good thing. This is what you're training for, this is what you're practicing for, this is what you're supposed to do, and I'm doing it. Yes, you know, and uh, well, that's awesome. And then how did you um because your story leads into playing with boys and against boys and whatnot, but how did that how did that how did you get there and I just say, well, I'm gonna be playing with girls? Were you just better than the girls at that didn't give you enough competition? Or right.
SPEAKER_02So again, um, it was Yukaipa Valley Youth Soccer, and um, I was always really tall and like big and strong for my age. I joke with everybody that I looked this way when I was like eight years old. Um, so I towered the boys and I was just super strong. And so um there was a traveling team, but again, it was only for boys. Um, but my coach at the time was like, no, she's really good. Like, allow her to try out. But at that time, there weren't that many girls for me to try out, and they were like, Yeah, she is good. And so um at that time, I think I was about maybe 10. Um, I made it onto this traveling team that again was for all boys. Um, so right away, yeah, I had to kind of prove myself to these boys that didn't know who I was. Um but right away they were like, Yeah, she belongs here. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03You know, that's funny that you say that because uh it doesn't look like it now, but um, that's why when I start the show, I say sea monster. That was a nickname that I was given when I was young.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's because I grew up physically tough and I was taller or the same size but big uh when I was like 13. Yeah, right. But then I stayed the same size, right? So it doesn't work out now, but sea monster mindset is what I have. Um, but uh I kind of agree where you're where you're coming from. You you grew up, you were bigger, more physical, and then you had you're playing with better competitors, so you learned a lot always by playing up a little bit, right? Up in level and whatnot.
SPEAKER_02Right, absolutely.
SPEAKER_03And then um you went to high school and played.
SPEAKER_02So um I played with the that group of guys from about age 10 to 14, so about four years. Um when I was in high school, um, they now had a high school all girls team. And so my parents just felt like now it was time for me to play with girls since I had the opportun opportunity. Um, but a lot of the guys that I played with, they were like, you're trying out for our team, right? Because you still could do that. Um, but my parents just were like against that. Um, so I played soccer high school. In high school, I played soccer for um my freshman year. And then unfortunately, even though soccer was my life, everything, unfortunately, my sophomore year, I was in a snow skiing accident and I tore my ACL. So those dreams gone.
SPEAKER_03Gone. And then um how did that how did that make you feel? Obviously, um getting in the accident, going through recovery and all that. What did it do anything to you mentally, like you said, right now, those dreams of uh competitiveness and soccer gone? What the what direction did you go with with that and and and how did it make you feel?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so um initially I thought maybe um I would just have surgery and everything would be great and I'd go back to soccer and we'd have a happy ending, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, but unfortunately, that's not what happened. I had surgery. Um, the surgery didn't take well. They actually took uh my hamstring tendon and created a new ACL, but it didn't hold. And so um once I went through recovery, I thought I was gonna be fine. And we saw that it didn't hold. And so that was it was still not working. Um, it was it was hard because again, like soccer was my thing, it was my identity. Um, I knew though that I had to have some physical movement, like I had to. So as soon as I was able, I said, okay, I can't play soccer. That lateral movement was just too hard on my knee. And I said, but I'm going to do something. And so um I started going to it was called family fitness at the time. Started going to the gym. Um, and I was like, okay, I'm gonna learn how to lift weights. And so started getting into bodybuilding um and loved it. And again, anything physical where I was just challenging myself, I just knew that that was something that was in me and I needed that um just to deal with everyday life.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Uh do you, I mean, now and then back then, um, like you said, it's part of your life, you know? How did that grow into you? Like you're going, oh, I need physical fitness, I need movement because it's good for my mind or or whatnot. Were you thinking that way back then, or were you just like, no, I need uh competitiveness or I need to challenge myself in different ways, or was it more for mental health or anything like that?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's a good question. I don't think that I realized when I was younger that it was for my mental health. I feel like I knew I my body craved movement. I knew that. So I liked how I felt when I was moving, but I don't think I realized that I actually am the kind of person that needed that physicality for my mental well-being as well. Um obviously now that I'm much older, I do realize that that is something I have to be doing.
SPEAKER_03Um yeah, for sure. It's it's crazy how we we get older at you know, when you're younger, you don't think that way, or at least when we were younger. But now thinking about it, you're like, man, if I didn't do it, then what would have happened or whatnot? Um, so then uh no more soccer. Uh you get into lifting and and bodybuilding, and where did that lead you? And uh where did you go from there?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So um again, I believe I was about 17. Um uh I would wake up even before as a young girl, kind of just backtracking a little bit. As a young girl, I do remember like anytime I would see a woman with muscles, I was like, that is what I want to look like. Um, I just I don't know, I just thought it was so cool. And I wanted my body to have muscles and be strong. And so um, once I started the bodybuilding, I was all in. Like I was focused on that. And um, since I was at the gym all the time, my mom was like, hey, like you're there all the time. You might as well get a job there. Yeah, and so um I got my aerobics certification. Um, and at 18, I started training other people, and so that was really incredible.
SPEAKER_03Yes, that's good, yeah. And and then um aerobics, wow.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, back in the day where it was like steppe aerobics, like like lake warmers, and it was super cool, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um and so then you got your certification for that. Yes, you started doing that, you liked it, you kept moving, and for what gym was that?
SPEAKER_02Um it was called family fitness, it's like um what 24-hour fitness is today, yeah.
SPEAKER_03All right, and then uh and then after that you continued to move forward in in health and fitness, right?
SPEAKER_02So from that I was um 18. So once I graduated from high school, I went on to college. Okay. Um, I actually I never told you this, but I actually wanted to be a cop.
SPEAKER_03Oh, really? All right, yes.
SPEAKER_02And so I went through um, I did, I uh uh applied and all of that. I did the physical test.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And when I did that physical test, and you have to drag that that body, I was like, this is the coolest thing I've ever done. Like I really wanted to do it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, but then when I got to the next part, um, my boyfriend at the time, who is now my husband, was just like, I don't think, I don't think I could be married to a police officer.
SPEAKER_00Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_02So I know I didn't tell share that, but yeah, but I've always had that desire in me as well. Like I don't know where that came from, but yeah. So from there I decided, okay, I guess I'll be a teacher. So um in college, um, I studied to become a teacher. Um during this time I was working at the gym still, still love fitness for myself as well. Um, once I graduated from college, um, uh, I got my teaching credential, started teaching. And so um, once I started having children and stuff, I only taught part-time as a teacher and then part-time as a personal trainer.
From Cop Dreams To Teaching
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you know, uh a lot of the people that don't know me will be like, Oh, uh, your wife's a cop. And I'm like, Yeah, yeah, she's a uh a sheriff, a detective with the homicide. Like, that is so cool being married to that and all that. And then I was like, Well, I was a cop too. You know, but um it is hard. It is hard.
SPEAKER_02I I I could see it if I wasn't um a cop and and I think but yeah, I think it would just be hard because um the other spouse doesn't realize the kind of things that you're dealing with on a daily basis, right? Yes.
SPEAKER_03You think yeah, well, you know, like any job, um, usually they say you meet your spouse or significant other or something um with the same uh profession or job that you have, because you are thinking alike and you're able to bounce things off uh each other, and I think that's what makes a relationship work.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03Um I think it would be difficult if she came home and she's telling me stuff about work and I I don't get it, and she's like, you don't ever get it, and or vice versa. Um so I think yeah, it's hard. I don't I don't I when I see a lot of relationships, it's usually cop to cop, they're married. Right. Usually a lot of cops marry a lot of cops. And I would say same thing with uh any other profession. You see movie stars, they date another movie star or sing or somebody that's in that that kind of entertainment business. Um same thing. So it actually worked out. See?
SPEAKER_00You're still with him, who knows?
SPEAKER_03But uh I was gonna say you uh the sheriff's department, just the FYI, right? Not trying to start any riff or drama here, but uh there's no age limit, I think. Oh wow, yeah.
SPEAKER_02So I'll keep that in mind.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So so then uh, real quick on that, so then you went through the process how far before you said I'm out of here, or did they disqualify you and you said no I'm done?
SPEAKER_02No, I just um I did the physical test, and I think the next one was like uh Yeah. I don't even know. Yeah, no, I just said I was done. And it was it was hard because um a friend of mine who was actually an instructor with me, we did it together. And she went on and she actually became a police officer.
SPEAKER_03Oh, really? For what department?
SPEAKER_02Uh Riverside Riverside, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Sheriffs, yes, okay, all right. Um it is a hard job. It is a difficult job, it is a very, very uh we appreciate you guys for sure.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03Um it is it is a difficult job, and and but you know, I think uh as long as you take the ego out of it, I think there's certain changes. Just to speak on that really quick, if there's certain um changes that need to be made from the foundation of the sheriff's department or uh uh all law enforcement of of how they run an academy and how they recruit people so that we can better help assist the community uh and whatnot. Um it is a different job now than it was, you know, 20 years ago, um, or even 10 years ago. Um and uh I think every every year, you know, with a different sheriff or different people that come in, um, hopefully it's getting better to serve the community because that's what it's about.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_03All right, enough on that. Um so we were talking about uh you kind of wanted to be that, and then you kept on con uh moving forward with health and fitness. You knew it was part of your your lifestyle, you knew you needed movement, um, you were training, middle school teacher, and then did did you move on to other aspects because it wasn't enough, or or like you just wanted more, like uh, you know, some of the reality TV stuff that you did?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so um again, I was a middle school teacher and I enjoyed that. And I would also bring that um fitness into the classroom too. I was always doing stuff with the kids and I enjoyed that. So I knew that um I liked leading others, being a teacher. Um and I did. I always wanted to challenge myself. Um, so you know, the working out was fun. Um it felt like every year or every two years, I was trying to do something different to challenge myself. So I did a body bodybuilding show. I did a figure competition.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02Um, so that was fun. Um, and then I was like, okay, I'm good with that. And then um I got into running for a while. Um, so I did some half marathons and a full marathon, and I love that.
SPEAKER_03Which full marathon did you?
SPEAKER_02Um, the San Diego rock and roll. Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03So that's that was fun. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, and then I was um training one of my clients one day, and he was like, Oh, hey, Nikki, did you hear their um bringing American gladiators back? And I was like, What? I was like, I watched that show with my dad um when I was a kid. And again, you know, just looking at those women with muscles like, heck, I want to look like that. Um, and I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm gonna find out how to try out for that show. And sure enough, I did. And I told my husband, I was like, I'm auditioning for this show. And he was like, awesome, let's go.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And so I went down, uh, it was at Gold's gym in Venice, Venice Beach. And um, you know, you're looking around, there's like thousands of people, and you're just thinking, like, how am I gonna do this?
SPEAKER_03You know, how am I gonna be the one?
Auditioning For American Gladiators
SPEAKER_02Yeah, sure enough. I mean, um, we did our little physical tests, and then when they did the quick interview, they were asking me all about uh my story kind of. Um, they asked me about a tattoo, and that led into some greater details about my dad and um my physical fitness, and uh sure enough, made the show. It was awesome.
SPEAKER_03And then for those that don't know American Gladiator, tell everybody a little bit of what like American Gladiators was about or how it all started and whatnot.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so I believe the show first aired in like the 80s. Um, they have these huge bodybuilding looking people, and they're the American gladiators, and then they bring on competitors, and then those competitors compete with them in different events, different physical events um where you're literally like wrestling each other at some points.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they have uh I don't know, those big old jousts. Joust.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, my husband, my husband's so awesome. He actually made us homemade jousts to practice at home. Yeah, and then sure enough, I didn't get that event. So kind of bummed about that.
SPEAKER_03Of course not. Um, what did you get? And then how did you do on it? Yeah and like what was your expectation and what was different, or like you're like, oh yeah, it is exactly, or you know, because it is on TV.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03So I don't know, you know.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean, they say it's reality, which it is reality in that you're really doing it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, but they portray it. I don't know if I'm gonna get in trouble. Um, they make it seem like you're doing all of these events in one day, but it's really several days of filming, and then they put it together.
SPEAKER_03Well, there was just a reality on that, right? On American Gladiators, probably Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, you won't get in trouble. I think you're exposed to everything. You're good.
SPEAKER_02Um, but the thing that I was kind of bummed about is um since I lived close to filming in uh in LA, because other people were coming from other states, um, one of the because there were two different um seasons, right? And several episodes. So one of the girls actually got hurt. So they called me in to fill in for her, which meant I missed the first event.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02So I was kind of bummed about that one because that one looked really fun. Okay. So they brought me in after she got hurt, but my first event was Gauntlet, and that's the one where all the gladiators are in like this tunnel, and you're like yes, you have to go through them, and they're literally like trying to knock you down, like tackle you, and you're trying to avoid them and get through to the finish. Like UFC fight.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So she was on the show. Her name was Crush. Maybe she'll hear this. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And I was so fight coming up.
SPEAKER_02I was so excited because I like loved her. I actually wanted to not loved her like that, but loved her. I wanted to be a fighter as well. So when I got to go up against her and I was just like, and I was just so pumped because I made it through, raised my hands, and got the win. Okay, you had to make it.
SPEAKER_03Through uh like a certain time too?
SPEAKER_02Um just whoever did it faster. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And then I remember that I remember that show. I used to watch all the time. Yeah, there's sometimes where you there was a uh gladiator up behind one wall and not the other one. You don't know if you're gonna go through it and find out. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02That I didn't get to do that in it, but yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh no, I love that show. Um yeah, they just did a reality, like a documentary on some of the people and some of the gladiators and and the show. I and you said it might be it's coming.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they're actually bringing it back.
SPEAKER_03So um so you're gonna be on it?
SPEAKER_02Well, who knows?
SPEAKER_03You're gonna try. Are you gonna try? Maybe possibly.
SPEAKER_02I think they already filmed it actually. I think it's just being aired now. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um that's so cool. And then um what did what did that do for you? Like how did uh you being on there, um obviously expanding your portfolio for you and trying to my show because I liked to win.
SPEAKER_02And so you go in and you're you're making yourself vulnerable, right? For the world to see, because it's easy for people sitting on the couch to be like, hey, I could do that. Looks so easy, you know? And then you're actually there doing it and you're like, Whoa, this is hard. This is challenging, you know? Um, and so I had to take that loss and go, hey, yeah, I lost, but it wasn't about that. It was about me putting myself in a situation where, first of all, so many doubters, people saying, You're never gonna make that show. Like, why would you even audition? You know, and it's like times like that and things like that, that's when we have to say, like, yeah, even though so many people are saying we will never make it or we can't accomplish this, that's when we have to say, like, no, I'm gonna try and I'm gonna give it my all. And that's all I have to do, right? Like, it wasn't about me winning or losing. It was about me doing something that I was so excited to do, even though I was scared. I was nervous about it, of course, you know. But you put yourself out there and showing yourself, hey, I could do that. Like being in front of millions, it was it was just a really humbling but uh awesome experience.
Losing On TV And Still Winning
SPEAKER_03There's always gonna be naysayers and critics, right? Right, and there's always gonna be people that support you and people that don't, and uh, and like you said, um you want to do it for yourself, not to prove anybody wrong, but you wanted to make sure that you're just doing it, and then and who cares about the naysayers? There's always gonna be people, right? Um okay, so then after gladiators, uh you were also on broken arrow, correct?
SPEAKER_02Broken skull challenge.
SPEAKER_03Broken arrow. Broken skull challenge, and then how long ago after that, or what happened in between that time?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so um did gladiators um broken arrow. When we yeah, so when I talk about broken skull challenge, so gladiators was cool, it was awesome, yeah, of course, but broken skull challenge with Steve Austin, this is to this day the defining moment of who I am today. Okay. So this was in, I believe, 2015.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
CrossFit Leads To Broken Skull
SPEAKER_02Um I some of the people that I trained at, so I kind of skipped this. I was working at Fitness 19. Um, so for many, many years, um, boot camp instructor, personal trainer. Um some of my clients were also doing CrossFit at the time. And they were like, Nikki, you should really try CrossFit. We think you would love it. You know, you're super competitive. CrossFit is about being competitive, you know. Um, and so I was like, okay, I'll give it a shot. So I went over and was trying it. I was really frustrated though, because I was a super strong girl, right? And I go over and I'm trying to do these Olympic lifts that these little tiny girls are lifting all this weight. And I'm like, what the heck? Why can't I lift it? Well, that's because you have to understand how to get your body under the bar when you're doing these Olympic lifts. Anyway, so I started crossfitting. Um, I liked the competitive part of it. It was hard because it was movements that I wasn't used to. One of the girls said, Nikki, they're doing another reality TV show called Broken Skull Challenge. That day I went home. It was on um CMT, country music television, right? I go back, I watch it. I'm watching it at home alone, and I'm literally like my hands are just dripping sweat because I'm so like pumped up and like anxious, and like, I'm trying out for this UFC. We're like try out. So sure enough, found where to audition, um, got the interview, told my husband, hey, we're doing this again. I said, I'm auditioning for another reality show. Um, he was the greatest. He's like, okay. And sure enough, got the call back and went on the show.
SPEAKER_03Okay. And then how did how was that experience?
SPEAKER_02So, because I had done gladiators, in my mind, I uh thought this was gonna be filmed over several days. Okay. This was not filmed over several several days. Um, this was one day. Um, they took us to Steve's ranch um that was supposed to be like in Texas, but it was really in Valencia, California.
SPEAKER_00Of course, of course.
SPEAKER_02Because it's reality, right?
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_02Um, and so um this was they start with eight girls. You do um eat an event. If you make it or if you win, you move on. If you lose, you go home. And so the first event was a tug of war. And so it's basically um, you got something strapped around your stomach and then a rope, and then it's strapped around the other person's stomach. You can do whatever you want, you just have to ring the bell. And keep in mind, I was 40 years old, and then the girl I was going against was 20 years old.
SPEAKER_00Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_02I was the oldest one in the competition.
SPEAKER_00Wow. Yes. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Okay. So um we get ready to go. All right. Three, two, one. In my mind, I already knew what I was gonna do. And so we turn around. Instead of tugging her, I went for her, wrapped my arms around her, slammed that girl to the ground, dragged her across, hit the bell, boom.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02Talk about adrenaline. I was so pumped up. I was just like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. All covered in dirt, just so you're good to go.
SPEAKER_03I'm sure I'm sure that was a great episode. So you can find that now, correct? Yes.
SPEAKER_02Okay, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_03And then what? And then did you do another event?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so um won that event. So she's gone. This girl's done. This girl's done.
SPEAKER_03Oh man, you know her name?
SPEAKER_02Uh no, but there's a picture right there. Oh, yeah, Sophie. Okay, oh. Sorry, Sophie.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, sorry, Sophie.
SPEAKER_02I'm I'm much nicer now. No, I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_03Oh, it does say it says uh so oh, she was 25.
SPEAKER_02Oh, 25. In her 20s, in her 20s, you know, okay.
SPEAKER_03TV, or maybe she was they put her as 20, who knows?
SPEAKER_02Um, but yeah, so anyway, started. We'll go into the next one. And this was super cool because in the next event, um, basically you're climbing up this steep, steep hill, okay? But you're carrying uh heavy wall balls or slam balls.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then once you get to each station, you got to get that ball into like a little hole thing, right? And so that was super cool because remember, I just started CrossFit and that was like a wall ball. Yeah, you cannot throw a 30-pound ball with your arms, you gotta squat down, right? Squat down, poof, right? Yeah, and so I was like, heck yeah, this is like a wall ball. The other girls didn't do CrossFit, they don't know. They tried to throw it and their ball kept rolling all the way back down the hill. So I was just so excited. So, yep, won that event. Moving on, move on, right? So kept moving on till the very, very end. And I was kind of bummed because in the very last event, you do your obstacle and then you get to wrestle. Like it's just wrestling. So whoever throws the opponent out wins the match.
SPEAKER_03Out of a certain area, yes.
SPEAKER_02But unfortunately, in my last event, it was the first time that they put a time cap on it. So you had to pull out this like telephone pole out of the ground, drag it across, get it back in the hole, climb up and ring your bell. Well, same thing. You can't pull that with your arms. So that's like a clean and jerk. But I had only been doing CrossFit for like two weeks. So remember, I was struggling with the Olympic lifts. So I didn't really understand that yet. So unfortunately, I didn't get to wrestle, but hey, I got the tug of war wrestling.
SPEAKER_03No, that's so cool. I mean, all we can do is try.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_03And that's so awesome. That's uh um did being on that promote anything else, like moving forward in health and fitness. Like obviously, you're on TV nowadays. Well, this is in 2000 what 15? Okay, but nowadays there's influencers, right? And there's people that have been on one show next, you know, they're influencers, and people have 200,000, you know, whatever followers and whatnot.
SPEAKER_02So yeah, so when I did broken school, like Instagram, I think maybe it just started, but I didn't have one.
SPEAKER_03There was no influencers.
SPEAKER_02I mean, even like Facebook, we weren't like posting stuff back then.
SPEAKER_03You were doing it for the competitiveness being like I want to try that. Absolutely. I want to do it. Yeah.
Faith Moment That Redefined Purpose
SPEAKER_02So um, but I do want to say from there, um after I did the show, of course, it doesn't air for several months, right? After you film it. Right. And I was like, yeah, sure, let's do this. So we had a viewing party at a local like bar and grill. And I knew at this one it was different, like different from gladiators, because I had grown up, I had learned more. So I knew that I wanted to share, like share something with my friends and family there or whoever was there to hear. And um, I really prayed about it. And like I said, this was the defining moment for actually who I am today. So in that moment, before I did that, the events that morning, I was really nervous. And I just kind of felt like I should just quit. Like I should just say, like, I'm too s I'm I'll say I'm sick, right? Like, I don't know. I was just really, really nervous. And I felt like um the Lord spoke to me that day and he said, You can do this. I gave you this opportunity, you can do this. And so it was kind of crazy because I had this devotional book that someone, one of my clients had given me. And I really struggle with like prayer time and reading. But in that moment, the Lord was like, open that devotional. And I opened it, and in on that day, it said exactly. He said, Do you think that I do not give you what you need for each day? I will give you supernatural strength. And it just really spoke to me, you know, and I felt in that moment that yeah, God knows what we want, God knows what we need, you know. And as funny as it sounds, like he knows that I love to be competitive. He knows that I wanted to wrestle someone. So, as crazy as that sounds, in that moment, I really felt like he was giving me this opportunity to use to speak to other people. So when I had that viewing party, I wrote down my testimony and I spoke it to my friends and family that were there. And I told them, yeah, I lost. I lost again. Not only did I lose on gladiators, now I lost on broken skull challenge. But again, it wasn't about me. It wasn't about winning or losing. It was about me facing my fears, about me going for my dreams, about me, you know, staying true to my faith, and about me sharing my testimony with others. Yeah, and it was so incredible because um, in that speech, I literally said this is about you know uh finding your purpose. Yeah. Purpose.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Wow. What an uh that is an amazing story. You didn't share that on TV, did you? No, not with the episode and I think with your friends that were the doing the uh the viewing and whatnot. And that's so crazy that you felt a certain way like you didn't want to do this, like you were gonna make an excuse um to not be there, and the emotions that you were going through probably insecurity and and all these different emotions, and yet this defining moment of a scripture, of of uh reading said and spoke to you and has changed your life in a different way, your meaning, your purpose. Um that's amazing. That's that's kind of how I found uh after 2015 as well, when my dad passed away, a book that changed my life. Um how did uh where did faith, um, God, religion, um, where did that begin? Yeah, uh and and how does that uh um where's that at now with you, you know? Um and where did that begin? Did that start at home or was it something that uh Yeah?
SPEAKER_02So I grew up in a Christian home. So I went to Sunday school from the time I was about two, three years old. In fact, my parents were often my Sunday school teachers. Um, so I always believed in God. Um, I knew He was real. Um, I got baptized and like grew up in a Christian home. It was always very important to our family. But I think as I got older, um it's like you you know God is real, but are you living a daily life where you are actually having a relationship with God, the creator, you know? And so I think, you know, our lives, we go through hills and valleys. And um I feel that it's hard because when things were good, it's easy just to be like, oh yeah, things are good, whatever, you know. Yeah, I believe in God, but whatever. And when things are tough for me, anyways, I've found that that is when I'm the closest to God, and I know that I'm not in control, He's in control, you know. Um, so again, like just being able, I feel like he really that the Lord was like, Nikki, I'm gonna give this to you, but I want you to use this. I want you to use this opportunity, the broken school, to be able to speak to others and share, you know, with others, you know.
SPEAKER_03What do you tell people that uh, you know, um they grew up exactly like you, going to church, um uh reading the Bible going through some hard times, uh, that they stop believing or they're you know they're they're hesitant about the belief or they're losing faith or whatnot. What do you tell uh you said you you find a better relationship with God when you're going through hard times, but some people start distancing themselves. What do you what's your advice to people that are going through hard times that feel like um let's backtrack just a bit.
Anger At God And Honest Prayer
SPEAKER_02Um, my dad actually passed away from leukemia. That was very, very challenging. Um my dad and that was um right before I did American Gladiators in 2007.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02Um, you know, we had a great strong relationship. And so at that time, I was I was mad. I was angry. I was angry with God, and I was just like, this is not fair. My dad was so young, you know, I was young. Um, I was mad that he wasn't gonna get to see my kids grow up. Um, and so at that time it was challenging. Um, I knew again that God was real and heaven was real, but I was mad. And I would just say, if you're struggling, tell the Lord that. Be honest, you know, because it's not always gonna be perfect, right? And we are gonna spend all the strength you need to accomplish whatever you need to accomplish that day. Maybe it's not even that day. Sometimes there have been times in my life where I have had to look to him each minute, yeah, because you don't know what's gonna happen, you know. But again, be real. You know, you can say, I'm angry, Lord, I'm mad. Why do I have to go through this? You know, but just accepting that sometimes through those difficulties, that's where we're gonna grow the most, you know?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think a lot of people, uh, that's exactly it. They don't accept certain things and they want a reasoning. We all look for something like, why did that happen? We don't understand why it happened, but it happened. And now we have to accept that it happened and how we're gonna move forward. Uh, sometimes we search for reasons and and that we're never we'll never know, right? Why your dad passed away, why my dad passed away uh so young, so early. Why was why were they both diagnosed with prost uh well with cancer? Um, how come a kid that's five years old has cancer and somebody who abuses alcohol or something lives to be 90? Right. We don't know. And that's what bugs us internally sometimes in our mind, and we struggle with the reasoning. But I think you said it best, as long as your acceptance of like, hey, this is happening, um, and um we're here for a reason, or this is happening for a reason, whatever that is. I don't need to know why it happened. I need to know how we're gonna get through this and move forward. Um that's so awesome. Um, but you also went through that was in 2007. You have uh two kids. Right. What's their age?
SPEAKER_02Um 26 and 24. Yes.
SPEAKER_03Okay, young adults. Yes, yes, yes, but there was a struggle there too. Uh during well, let me go back. Uh during that time of you competing, American Gladiator, uh, I won't say broken arrow. Skull. Broken skull. Um broken skull and and being competitive and and and being a teacher and and uh health and fitness instructor and all this stuff. Um things are good with the kids. Are they in sports? What's going on in in the family lifestyle?
Parenting Through Unexpected Challenges
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so both my kids were avid athletes as well. Okay. I really, you know, as an athlete, I kind of pushed that. Um, but they enjoyed it. They enjoyed it. Um, they did taekwondo. Both of them are second degree black belts in taekwondo. Um, both of them played soccer. Um, my son was a wrestler and a football player. Um also, I didn't share this as well, but I just want to touch on it a bit. Yeah. My son was actually born with only one hand.
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02So um, you know, that was challenging as well. Right. But really encouraging him that he could do whatever he set his mind to. And boy, that kid has, you know, yeah. I'm super proud of him. But yeah, that was that was challenging too. But again, looking at these things that may happen to us, or some people would call them obstacles or struggles, but saying, hey, like this is this is what it is, and I'm gonna go with it, and I'm gonna do the best I can, and um, you know, just accept that this is the way it is and run with it, you know. So yeah, um they also both ran track. Um and then let's see, my son graduated from high school. He went off to college, Biola. Um, he wasn't he wasn't playing sports after that. Um, and then my daughter was into track, and then she actually um got a track scholarship to Vanguard University, um, where she was going to pursue nursing.
SPEAKER_03Okay, okay. And then um, well, let's go back really quick. Your son was born without a hand, didn't know it, obviously. Um, at that moment when your baby's born, and how is that gonna change the dynamics of certain things? And um, you know, obviously there'll be a conversation with my son later about, you know, um why it happened uh or whatnot, and how to accept that it moved forward. How did that look uh during that time?
SPEAKER_02That was very, very challenging. I think um both my husband and I, again, we didn't have social media like you do today. Today, um, not that it's easier, in a way it is because you can connect with other people that are going through things, right? Like when we're going through tough times, it's hard because you feel like you're the only one in the world going through this. And so it was difficult because I didn't know anyone who, you know, only had one hand, or I just I didn't know how to deal with it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Neither my husband nor I did. But we just said to our son, you know, this is the way God created you. You were made with a special purpose. And again, just try to encourage him that he could do whatever he set his mind to. Um, but yeah, it was it was challenging for sure. And again, questioning Lord, like, why would you do this? Like it's not fair. Yeah, you know, but now what is fair and what is not fair? Because maybe this is actually going to give him so much, so many more opportunities, right? Because maybe he looks different or people see him doing something that inspires them, you know. So I think for us, we need to look at these obstacles or challenges or struggles and say, hey, like, yeah, we might look at these as negative things, but we can use these for positive things for sure.
SPEAKER_03You know, yeah, perspective is everything.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_03Right. Uh I think we're talking about um how my name Sea Monster came about, but then I didn't grow anymore. Um, but I've never seen it that way. You know what I'm saying? I've never seen that. I mean, I I actually see it as a blessing because um because of that, my mind was stronger. Um, I had to be more physical. So I got was in the gym more, and uh um I got a division one scholarship, you know, and and uh and I pursued it to the highest level baseball until it it was no further. But um the challenges, uh, the the way the the um obstacles, um, all these different things that happen in front of you, perspective is everything. You can look at it as a negative and stay there in that place and just kind of you know wither away, or you can look at it and go, okay, well, what am I gonna do with it and see it a different way and move forward and say this happened for this reason and we're gonna overcome this?
SPEAKER_00Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03Um and it seems like you've done that a lot.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
Daughter’s Addiction And Warning Signs
SPEAKER_03Um tell us a little bit about uh, I think we should you shared with me your daughter then at a certain age um um became addicted to drugs and and whatnot. What age did that happen and and and how did that change? Uh again, once again, being challenged, and and how did you overcome that?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so um as I said previously, um she went away to college um and was doing very, very well. Um, track athlete, doing amazing in her schooling. Um and then some things started to shift. Um COVID happened, which we all know about that, right? That was very, very challenging. Um at that time, the athletes were allowed to, so everyone was sent home for a while. And then the athletes were allowed to come back to school. Um, but no one else was there. So that was kind of strange, right? So she was still doing online classes and so forth. So there wasn't like a lot of community. Um, she actually ended up getting injured, and I think that was devastating for her. Can't move to to move. Um, she was no longer able to perform the way that she thought she should, or the coaches thought she should. Um, and then, you know, started doing some things. Um, you know, at first I think it was just kind of like, um, I'll just try this, you know, some different people. Um, but those things that you do turn into habits, and then that habit turns into, you know, something that you can't break. Um, and so that was very, very challenging uh to see my daughter, who was super strong and athletic. And again, she wasn't living with us, so I didn't know exactly what was going on.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02So that was very challenging.
SPEAKER_03Um Do you think that uh during that time? Because you know, I have my daughters away as well, and when we don't see everything, but do you think that um you didn't inject yourself so much? You're like, no, she's fine, it's okay, but actually it was worse than what you thought at that point already.
SPEAKER_02Yes, absolutely. Um I think it's hard as a parent, especially when your children are older, right? Because off at college, they're supposed to start doing things on their own, right? They can't have and also like it is hard when you're uh transitioning from a child to an adult, right? And there are struggles. Um I did notice that she was losing a lot of weight, and I thought maybe it was just like stress or you know, um, but it is it's hard. It's hard to there weren't any signs that you saw. Not right away, right? Not right away.
SPEAKER_03Um I mean uh look, my daughter's out there. I know that she drinks, I know she has a fake ID. She has a great communication with us where she shares shares some stuff, but also she doesn't share some stuff. Right. And I get it. Exactly. Like you said, we're we're allowing them to experience. I always tell my daughter, like, be independent and experience.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_03You know, say yes to certain things, but right, um, it's hard to, you know.
SPEAKER_02I think it's hard too. I think it was hard for my daughter because again, yeah, you go away to college, some people are drinking, some people are smoking weed, some people are doing a drug every now and then. But for people who already have that tendency to become addicted, and if you're in a vulnerable state, um, it's a lot easier for that to happen, you know. And I did just want to mention about the marijuana thing. I know a lot of people have to go, you know, in it through vape, through dab, through whatever, and parents don't realize it's a problem until it's a problem.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, you know, and you can be addicted to marijuana, you know. And if you need something to survive 24-7, it's an addiction. Yeah, you know, whether that be drugs, alcohol, even fitness, you know, I have to be careful myself with that because I know that it could become that.
SPEAKER_03So yeah, we all have an addict uh addictive personality. It just depends whether it's a healthy one or an unhealthy one, right? And uh whether it's leading you to your purpose or not.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03Um, and um unfortunately, sometimes when when you're younger, um, you know, you you want to try some different things and you maybe you're hanging out or meet some people. Um, but unfortunately, trying something can lead you into an addiction. Unfortunately. And I think it seems like at this point with your daughter, it was almost like the perfect storm of like COVID injury.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03Um, trying something to cope with and led to all I it doesn't make me feel this way what I'm feeling. And maybe um, and I'm just speculating here, but it seems like it's not only your daughter, but a lot of people that I know myself, I try to cope with alcohol when my dad passed away.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_03Um, but it seems like it was a coping mechanism, possibly for certain things that led into other stuff.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02And so, you know, once she was dabbling in that a little, it was really hard because she also got in a terrible abusive relationship, um, which was really hard on my husband and I as well, because again, trying to be a parent, trying to show love, but at the same time, she's an adult. So finding that balance. Um, but you know, she actually did reach out and say that she needed help. Um, so that was good, you know, that she realized that she needed help. But again, as a mom, you know, um when you're not in control and you see your child broken and you just want to be able to fix them, but they're you don't know what to do, you know. And I think I did want to share too that the stigma be behind mental health and like drug abuse, it's so challenging because you know, for us, for our dads, when they have cancer, you can just say, Hey, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Can you pray for them? Can you this or that? Right. When your child is struggling with mental illness or with drug addiction, what do you do? You're silent. You don't want people knowing that. Yeah, you know, it's it's hard. You can't just say, Oh, by the way, my kid's doing drugs.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, you try to, you know, we're used to fixing things. We're used to like, okay, if we do this, this, and this, it'll all be better.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And you can't do that. And we need to change that, you know. People need to to realize, hey, it's like anything else, you know, and drug addiction, I believe, is uh, you know, it's a disease.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02It is. It's not just bad choices. I mean, it could start as bad choices, but it becomes, you know, yeah.
SPEAKER_03It becomes what what would you um how long ago was that, by the way?
SPEAKER_02So this was in it began in 2021.
SPEAKER_03That's right. Okay. And then um if you could go back now, what would you do differently in 2021? You know what I'm saying? Like during that time when you started seeing some signs, maybe, or what would you now? You know, we always hindsight some stuff, Monday night quarterback stuff. But knowing now, what would you at the beginning do differently? Or what would you tell people that are that maybe you know, hey, Mike, you know, I think that would be a good idea.
SPEAKER_02Right, right. I mean, I think I would just say again, it was challenging because she wasn't living here. Um, but just continue to reach out to you know, have an open door for conversation. Um but yeah, there were signs. I guess the weight loss was a big one. Um her kind of distancing herself.
SPEAKER_03Um her personality was changing, she was becoming a different person.
SPEAKER_02Yes, absolutely. She wasn't, you know, when she was younger, like I said, she was happy, she was laughing, she was smiling, everybody wanted to be around her. And yes, she was becoming sad, a lot more quiet, a lot more distant, um, isolating. Um, it was challenging. It was super difficult to see my once, you know, girl who like lit up the room to you know, just a darkness in her eyes. She just her eyes were dark, you know what I mean? And uh what was um I think in the beginning it was it was mostly marijuana and other but her this is me or this or that you want when something became when you have to depend on that every day to function, it becomes a problem for sure.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think addiction comes in different ways. I know my dad when he had uh um cancer, um this was in 2015, 2014, he passed away in 2015. Um it wasn't legalized yet at that time, and um he didn't want to take anything for pain because he had had prostate cancer before and got addicted to some of the the um the pain medication, the opiates. Yeah, the opiates, and so uh marijuana kind of offered him a little bit of hope of doing that and feeling okay to function. Uh so I think that's okay, but I think it's it's the way you use something.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03I'm not saying first of all, I'm saying that alcohol or any kind of drug or any kind of thing is not good, right? For your body. But um I'm also saying that if somebody goes out and they're using alcohol or have a drink or two or wine and socialize and whatnot, and they're not abusing it and they're using it in the right purpose of around the m right atmosphere, okay, you know. But if you're using it to cope um for other things that you're lacking or feel like like uh an injury, right? Or um hard times or or whatnot, it could lead into further abuse and addiction and and to like this is making me feel so much better. Right.
SPEAKER_02And I think I think exactly what you're saying, like that's what people need to ask themselves like, am I using this to cope? Because even when my daughter was struggling, you know, and I didn't even share um like in and out of the mental hospitals as well, like that's a big thing too. Um I th I don't think people want to talk about that either because they don't want to be like, oh my gosh, you know, I'm crazy or so-and-so's crazy. But it's like we all struggle with depression or anxiety. And, you know, that was very eye-opening to see, you know, when we went to visit her, to see um that this is just everyday people. I mean, it could happen to any of us at any time where you just have a have a breakdown, you know?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And um, it's just really important for people to realize like, you know, this is not something to be ashamed of. This is something, you know, we all struggle. And it's like, am I using substances to cope or am I finding other ways that is going to um help me, you know, instead of actually harm me. And I found myself doing the same thing when she was struggling, you know, my husband and I were turning to wine each night, right? This will help us relax, this will help us calm down until we were seeing, like, whoa, we're drinking every single night. Like, this can't be good, you know.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And so, yeah, it's funny, but you know, uh, yeah, we all deal with something, like you said. Um, even even fitness and and certain running or weightlifting or what can be addictive in a bad way at times. Um, too much of it. You know what I'm saying? Um, we need to live a more balanced life. Um, unfortunately, with drugs, um any kind of drug from marijuana to uh hard drugs, in between alcohol and whatnot, it it goes right into the brain. And um uh it starts to mess with the chemical balance of our brain. And we start having then mental health problems because of that. It's like anything else. You put something in your body that's sugar, whatnot, you feel a certain way, you do it a lot, you start getting diabetes, you start feeling a certain way, you're not active, things aren't functioning functioning properly, uh uh at optimal performance. And so um, you know, you you you start with something, uh hardship, and then if you turn to a negative, um then it starts going that way.
SPEAKER_00Right.
From Broken To Becoming Workshops
SPEAKER_03And and so I think uh if people are listening times, um just make sure that what you're what you're using and what you're doing is something that is positive to move forward, um, and that alcohol, drugs, and whatnot are just a suppressant towards um a problem that will not go away until you deal with it, you confront it, uh, and you move forward. And and uh um that is the ultimate positive way to do it. Um I know I've learned some of that. Do we all make mistakes and continue to do some stuff that we shouldn't? Absolutely. But like you said, nobody's perfect. Um, but it seems like you're that's where you're you've continued to do uh until now. And then where is your daughter at now in 2026? Like where's where's her state of uh like where she's at in her life and uh has she overcome that? Is she still dealing with that?
SPEAKER_02Or right? Yeah. So um today she is working as a um CNA, so a nursing assistant, which is really cool because she's in the field that she wanted to be in. Um and she's found purpose in that, and that's really exciting to hear her talking about her patients and how she's helping them. And she she really enjoys doing that. So I'm super excited for her as far as that goes. Um, but she's still she's still struggling, she's still trying to find her way. Um, you know, and I tell her, I tell her, even though I wouldn't have chose any of this for her, that this is part of her story. Yeah, this is part of my story as well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, her story, you know, really reshaped my life and reshaped how I see myself and how I see my purpose. And as hard as it's been, it's been incredible because I am not the person that I was. I am a totally different person. And I'm excited to share my story, and I'm excited to share my testimony with others, and I'm excited to show others what the Lord has done through this difficult because the Lord says, you know, we must be broken to become, right? Right. So um I've actually started a fitness workshop um with my sister, who's also an amazing Christian woman. And um, we call it from broken to becoming. And we're trying to inspire other women who are going through hard times, or even if they haven't gone through something hard, they're going to, right? Because again, in this life, we will struggle. We, you know, that's how we're gonna come out of it. And again, I try to encourage my daughter again, like, yeah, her story has had some ups and downs for sure, but I know that she's gonna be able to use this um and inspire and you know, help others um once she finds her way. Yeah, I know, I know she's going to.
SPEAKER_03You know, we all have our time and purpose where we are like, why was I doing that? Yeah, what was I thinking? You know, whatever. And and and uh I think she'll be okay with the guidance of uh of of yourself and and how you support her um to eventually get there, probably, you know, where she needs to get. Um, how did it start with you and your sister? Um, everything's with broken, broken arrow, and I'm scared.
SPEAKER_02Isn't that no, it really is broken skull, and that's why I say when I You know my podcasts can't be broken. I know. So when I did the broken skull challenge, um, there was so many things. And that's why I say leading up to today, going through all of these struggles, all of these, you know, hardships and where we're at today. And so crazy that yeah, we called it from broken to becoming. I I honestly, right this moment, I don't even know how we came up with that name. I guess because we kept calling ourselves broken. Yeah, we're broken. We're broken. Um, so then when when uh you guys reached out to me and I was like, what? This is called the unbroken. Like, what? This is crazy, but awesome. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So then what do you get when uh okay? So you and your sister get together.
SPEAKER_02She's in fitness and so she she always says, I'm like the kind of fit girl, but no, she's she's awesome. She um she is a women's leader at a church.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02Um, so how this came to be as a combining forces. Yeah, how this came to be is she invited me to her church to do a fitness um kind of workshop. And so she said when I was up there, she was like, Oh my gosh, I got an idea. We're gonna combine this. So it's really cool because she loves fitness as well. She's just not as crazy as me. Yeah, yeah. But but um, yeah, so we started this about it's only been about seven months we've been doing this. We're already on our fourth workshop.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02We are super pumped because this next workshop is going to be at a boxing um boxing gym.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02Um, I actually work with um at Club Studio. I'm a co coach at Club Studio. I work with uh a guy named Andrew. He's a boxing coach there with me, and he's also a boxing coach uh at the it's Lions Den met me, he would melto, and he's like um and what is your workshop uh tell a little uh tell some people of uh what's the workshop about?
SPEAKER_03How long is it?
SPEAKER_02Um where do they sign up? Yeah, so um actually the next one, yeah, uh, because there's limited spots available. Um the next one is going to be May 30th.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_02Uh Saturday, May 30th from 7 a.m. to 9 a.m. So a two-hour workshop um at Lion's Den Boxing. You can find um us on Instagram, broken and becoming is our handle.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02Um, but anyways, yeah, so the workshop entails fitness. Um yeah, a workout. Well, several, several workouts through the two hours. Okay. Because how we break it up is uh we do some interactive activities, and then I'll do like a workout. And then my sister does a teaching that corresponds to the workout. So it all like flows together, and then we'll do another phys, some kind of physical. Physical something, and then we have another teaching. So it's like two workouts, three teachings. I share my testimony.
SPEAKER_03Um, yeah, it's an awesome and then uh what's the price or what's the cost?
SPEAKER_02Free.
SPEAKER_03Free ninety nine.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely free right now. Yes. And it's but yeah, we're just there to encourage other women and you know, have a safe space where people can share.
SPEAKER_03And it's women only.
SPEAKER_02It's for right now, it's women only. How's gonna show up? No, you never know because like I said, Coach Andrew, he's um really working in with this, so we never know what's gonna happen. But for now, it's women only.
SPEAKER_03Okay. And then um it includes some of the the faith that part of it is some of the religious teachings, or is it just faith and like uh believing in yourself more mentorship or this actually we we do teachings from the Bible, but whether you're a Christian or not, we still encourage you to come.
Creating Safe Space Through Vulnerability
SPEAKER_02Okay, you know, give it a a listen. Um, you don't have to say that you're a Christian to come. No, not at all. Um, but yes, we do teachings from the Bible and we do some prayer. Um, but we just want everyone to come and again get connected with other women. Again, sometimes when we're going through things, we feel like we're the only people in the world struggling with it. And you will see that there are many people struggling right now. And I think that's why I felt like so compelled to share my story, even though it's hard and even though being vulnerable ever they'll cry in front of me. I've realized it's my story.
SPEAKER_03No, I'm willing to do how much it takes uh, you know. I think one of the the biggest stigmas or whatnot is you know, people don't want to cry, be tough, ego and and vulnerability is actually where change occurs. Yes. Uh, and being authentic to yourself. Um, so thank you very much for being that. Uh plus I got another another idea while I was just talking to you right now, looking at you, sharing your story is I really think you and your sister should start a podcast.
SPEAKER_02Oh my gosh, we've talked about it, but then we're like we're like, how do we do this? My sister has an incredible story as well. Incredible.
Advice To Her Younger Self
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but it's I'll just I'll just speak on it really quickly. My advice would be uh, you know, every week or every month, or or whenever you have time once a month, is to get an idea from scripture or something, and then kind of share something like that of what that means, and then that's a story that comes out of something that touched you or whatnot. And uh you're just um, you know, I don't know, but uh I love that idea. Yeah, because uh I try to do once a month of different people that come from different arenas, so I don't just have one specific thing. I've I've had uh realtors on my on my show. I've had a person that started his own business that was uh um uh a barber, but now he owns his own business in uh plumbing, you know. Yeah, and so uh just different ways from high school I'm starting through because I want to touch everybody, yes, you know, because it's not uh just health and fitness, but everybody goes through struggles and they're different um jobs or different things they do from marriages that are broken and whatnot. Um but my idea, I think you have a great voice, you have a great story. I think uh um what you're where you're going and what you're doing and what your your sister and you are starting is amazing. And I think more people and I think um this the podcast why I did it is because I can reach people in Upland. Right. In Northridge, in Yukaipa, wherever. Actually, if uh once you look at the numbers on my on my page, um there's people from uh other countries that are listening, and so that is really cool. I I never thought somebody would listen to myself in other states or you know, just I always thought in A18 people that know me, but once you kind of get your foot in there, yeah, you're touching a lot more people than just in your neighborhood, which is really cool. Um uh let's go into a little bit of like um you've had a uh we're uh well you did mention where your daughter's at right now and and and whatnot, and she's going through herself. But if you could give yourself um some advice, your younger self, some advice. I I always think that's the hardest one for people, but what would that be? You know, where were you at that place that now you're looking at like shit? I should have done that. Like I would tell myself, stop being this way or do this instead.
SPEAKER_02I think the biggest thing that I've realized now that I'm older is it's all about relationships, right? There were so many times where I was too busy with things that don't really matter, right? Like, oh, I gotta go home and clean my house. I'm not saying you shouldn't have a clean house, like I still have a clean house. But what I'm saying is I would spend hours and hours cleaning my house when, you know, it's all about relationships. That's what our life is, right? It's about connection, it's about um sharing and spending time with others. And that's become so important to me, sharing again, my story or like, how can I help this other person? How can I inspire this other person? You know, um, just being available, you know. Sometimes somebody just needs you there to listen to them, you know. It's not always about giving them advice or giving them the answers, but just making yourself available for others, you know?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I feel like that's something I've really learned over these past couple of years.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's funny how we don't we go back and I'm like, man, I wish I would have done this. And I tell I'm a different person, but uh we're here now. Yes, we're here now. Um, do you practice like daily habits or routines now that um they you can give advice to go, hey, you know, people should follow this because daily habits, routines, consistency is the key to certain change or whatnot. Yeah. But what do you do? What's your day look like?
SPEAKER_02My day looks like getting up at the crack of dawn or before when it's still dark. So I do think that's important. I mean, people don't have to get up at 3:30 a.m. like I do, but um I think it's important to get up, you know, and um start your day with either prayer or some sort of gratitude. Um, I think that's really important. Um, I think movement is super important. Um, so if you can get up and maybe go on a walk and during that walk, really just think about things you're grateful for. I think that's a great way to start your day because it's easy to wake up and just be like, oh, what do I have to do today? This, this, this, and that, and get overwhelmed, get stressed out. But instead saying, wow, like I woke up, I have breath in my lungs, I have another day of life, you know, I'm grateful for, you know, the little things, you know. And also like, especially like if you're married, like um, they need to know that you don't know how many days you have, you know, left. Like people always say, Oh, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that when I'm older or this or that. And it's like, you don't know how long you have, you know. So I think um just starting your day, being grateful for what you have is a great way to begin. But again, establishing a routine, you know, is super important for me, you know. Um, wake up, work out, coach, yeah, you know, yeah, have my set schedule.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, no, I I think you hit it right on the button. I think uh waking up and being grateful, uh, genuinely being grateful, because we can be like, oh, thank you for waking up today. You know, like okay, move on forward. Right. I said it, you know. Right. Um, but um if you start your day with looking in the mirror and looking at yourself and being grateful, uh genuinely grateful for certain things that you're grateful for.
SPEAKER_02Even just like your health, it puts you in a better mood.
SPEAKER_03Right. Even if you woke up, you're like, I slept horrible, or had a bad dream, or oh my god, I'm not looking forward to whatever's gonna be in front of my day. But if you're just genuinely wake up and say you're grateful for some things, it changes your whole being for that day. It sets the tone. Um, so I think that's great advice on that. Um but uh do you have a favorite like quote? Well, I'm sure they've heard in a recredo, but he um uh passion, choice, faith, and forgiveness. I have a tattooed on my leg after like underneath my Iron Man tattoo, and it's just a book that kind of changed like how I carry myself.
SPEAKER_02But is there something that that you kind of just uh Yeah, I feel like um in these last couple years, I've really relied on this um verse from the Bible, so the scripture, which is Jeremiah 29, 11, and it says, For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans for a hope and a future. And again, during the dark, dark times with my daughter, I continually look to that, knowing that even though we were going through this difficult time, that the Lord is sovereign and the Lord will use every situation. Again, I wouldn't have chosen this, but he will use it and he is using it. And I can just see, you know, the amazing things he's bringing out of this dark situation and how he's using me and how he's using, you know, so many different things, and it's just incredible. So again, I just continue to look to that verse, um, knowing that the God that God is going to use all of these things um for his greater purpose.
Purpose To Be A Light
SPEAKER_03What drives uh Nikki? What's your purpose?
SPEAKER_02My purpose now is to be a light for the Lord, to show other people that he has this amazing love for you, no matter who you are, no matter what you've done. He loves you, he wants you to have eternal life with him in heaven, and that's my purpose. And he's put this passion for fitness in me, and I love it, and I'm gonna use fitness intertwined with that. I'm going to be a light for him. I want other people to look at me and say there's something different about that girl. I want what she has, and what I have, it's not about me. It's about the Lord. Yeah, that's all it is.
SPEAKER_03Wow. Um, is there um man, we've talked about is there anything we haven't talked about? How would you leave this show? And and I know you actually that was the best way for you to say that, but um those that don't believe, those that don't uh have faith or have lost, like what would you tell them? Um, because I'm sure like uh like you said you had a relationship at one time that you're just like, uh why am I here? What am I saying? Like, what would you really tell them to to do or what to do?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. So a lot of people would just say, like, okay, open up the Bible and start reading.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02For me, like I I shared before, I struggle. I I just after all these years being a Christian, I just started going to Bible study a year ago. Okay. Because for me, just like opening a book and reading, like, that's difficult for me, right? So my advice would be look for the Lord, like, like we were talking about being gratify having gratitude, right? You can look around in this world and like there's no denying that there is a God, right? Or the Lord, right? And I would just say, like, even if you don't know how to pray, you're like, I don't know how to pray. Like, I don't, I don't get it. Just say, Lord, like try to have a conversation. It's just about a conversation, it's not about you know, I have to do this, that, this, and that. It's just Lord, help me. Make yourself real to me. I want to know you. If this is real, I want to know it. I'm calling out to you. Like, show me, put people who know you and love you around me. Surround me with your love. Let me feel your love. You know, and if you're at a time in your life where you're in one of those dark moments, cry out to him. Tell him, I am mad, I am angry. This is a bunch of BS, right? I don't understand, Lord, but show me. You know, there were so many moments where I was like, Lord, why aren't you fixing this? You can stop it right now. This is not right. I am a Christian, I you know, do this right. I'm a good person. Why are you allowing this to happen? And I've realized he allowed this to go on and it continues because it has allowed me to find my true purpose. Wow. You know, yeah, and even if he would have, you know, fixed everything just a month ago, who knows? Maybe I wouldn't be doing workshop number four. Yeah, because I could be like, oh, cool, everything's all good now. I don't have to read, I don't have to go to Bible study, I don't need to keep looking to the Lord. Yeah, but it's like, no, he still has a purpose for each one of us. Yeah, and it's about finding that purpose, yeah, you know. Wow. Yeah. Maverick City, heart or and soul doesn't change. I'm telling you, yeah, that is a big thing that I do as well.
SPEAKER_03Is your husband uh uh he has the same faith as you and he does, um he does, but he he struggles to let go, right?
SPEAKER_02I have finally come to the place where I'm like, Lord, I surrender because I can't control these things. I surrender, I know you're in control. Yes, is it hard? Absolutely, yes, it's hard, but I give it to you. And so my husband struggles a bit because he still wants to hold on, he still wants to control. You know, even with our daughter, it's hard because that's her his baby. Yeah, you know. But um I'm just praying too that he'll he'll surrender, that he'll he'll know that the Lord's got it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, well, he's going through his yeah, whatever he's going through right now as well. And whatever will happen will happen.
SPEAKER_00Yes, just like your podcast.
How To Find Nikki Online
SPEAKER_03I'm putting it out there. They say words that have power. That's right. So uh, you know, when you have a podcast, you can reach out to me. Awesome. I'm available to talk. Yes, I'll have you on as a guest. My first guest, my first guest. I want to listen. Um thank you so much for being vulnerable, uh, telling us your story, uh, giving great advice. Um, how can people find you? And I know you you spoke about your your um your workshop coming up. That's great. Um, give us again um how they can find you on Instagram or social media platforms so they can reach out and and and and go to the uh your workshops or just yourself for personal training or just anything that came out on this podcast.
SPEAKER_02Yes. So on Facebook, it's just Nikki Smith.
SPEAKER_03Nikki with an I.
SPEAKER_02N-I-KKI Smith. Um on Instagram it is Nikki Christine. It's in i dot k i christine with a ch. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02Um, yeah. And then we also have the broken, broken and becoming. That's on Instagram.
SPEAKER_03Okay. And then uh you do personal training out of your uh house.
SPEAKER_02I do. Um that's kind of a little bit like referral. Okay. But um yes, I do personal training out of my home. Um, and then I'm also a coach at Club Studio Fitness in Upland, California. I coach uh CS4, it's a circuit class. Um and we just got a national ad. So I'm on a national ad for a club studio, which was super cool too. That's but again, it's not about me. That smile comes from the Lord.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, exactly. Um, but thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Is there any whatnot? No. Yeah, I think we covered a lot.
SPEAKER_02Yes, no, I'm just again super grateful for the opportunity. And I just hope that it's helped one person out there. So thank you so much.
Final Reminder You Can’t Be Broken
SPEAKER_03No, thank you so much. I appreciate it. Thank you so much, and everybody listening to this podcast. Uh just remember, we're all gonna go through hard times at times. Um uh there's gonna be catastrophes, there's gonna be hard times, there's gonna be pain, um, sometimes with no reason and and no whys. Um, but just remember you can't be broken.
