Can't Be Broken
Can't Be Broken
From Rock Bottom To Purpose with Destiny owen
What if the moment you feared most became the fuel for everything you’d become? Destiny’s story starts with instability—homelessness with her mom, hunger that never quit, and an early slide into alcohol and pills. It runs headlong through five DUIs, a felony sentence, and the brutal reality of women’s prison. And then something simple but seismic happens: she starts running laps, reading anatomy and business books, and building a daily plan that reconnects her with discipline, faith, and a future.
We talk about the small, unglamorous choices that actually change a life. How to use movement to stabilize mood. How to replace shame with service. How to show up without a smartphone to be fully present for your kid, and why biking 35 miles in the rain to keep your promise can reset identity faster than any pep talk. She shares practical tools for sobriety in social settings, the danger of today’s fentanyl-tainted pills, and how a gratitude list can shut down a craving in seconds. You’ll hear why perspective is your passport or your prison, and how switching “I wish” to “when I do” can turn opportunity into action.
The story crescendos with purpose. Asked to help a failing “fat camp,” she rewrote the playbook: real nutrition, individualized plans, dignity first. Parents noticed, schools called, and Camp Shape was born—a residential program teaching teens discipline, social-emotional skills, healthy eating, and entrepreneurship. Her for-profit, Shape Your Destiny, now delivers the same curriculum across Southern California schools, especially for kids who need structure and belief the most. It’s prevention at its best: give young people the tools she needed at eleven, before crisis hits.
If you’ve ever wondered how to rebuild after rock bottom—or how to help someone you love—this conversation is a field guide. Listen, share with a friend who needs hope, and if it resonates, subscribe and leave a review so more people can find stories that move them forward.
I don't know what happened a couple days ago. Of I'm like, okay, I love what I do right now, but I really want to invest in a business. Like something else that I don't have to be there, but still have to kind of be there. And for some reason, coffee's been coming, calling me.
SPEAKER_07:Oh can't be broken coffee.
SPEAKER_01:Can't be broke. You know what? I'll invest. I'll be your first invest. No, because like I said, in the valley, there's Starbucks everywhere. Like all you have to do is Starbucks where you live. There's one here, there's one there. But dude, I don't like those. So I looked up like just coffee places that said badass coffee. I'm like, it's gotta be badass.
SPEAKER_07:And it's even further. You drove a little further just to get there. I knew you. I knew it.
SPEAKER_01:I still got here at 1030. I told you. You were on time, but you I made room for that.
SPEAKER_08:But I I saw the badass coffee. I go, oh, the name got him. He went even past my house to go to badass coffee.
SPEAKER_01:Badass coffee.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, no, I had to because uh they have good like uh little bagels and stuff too.
SPEAKER_01:I know. Well, you know what? I bought a I bought a beanie.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, you did?
SPEAKER_01:Badass beanie.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, you got a badass beanie.
SPEAKER_01:I'm telling you, the name is cool.
SPEAKER_08:Like, do you gonna keep the cup?
SPEAKER_01:Uh no, maybe not. Oh, I didn't even see that side. Okay. Oh, so that's like a Hawaiian-based grind or something. That's what it is. Because everybody when I came in, they're like Aloha, I'm like, what?
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, it's it's Hawaiian-based. That's why it caught me off guard for a second that you were saying the law enforcement things. But then I do remember they have like a lot of it's a stop for a lot of bike rides and fundraisers and stuff. It's right here. Yeah. So a lot of times when you go over there, you'll see a ton of bikes parked outside or people meet there after run clubs. So it's pretty popular.
SPEAKER_01:Well, we don't do any promotions. I don't have anybody promoting me or anything, but I'm gonna promote badass coffee. You should. Yeah. Oh no, I'm just saying on this podcast, when people listen, they're like, oh shit.
SPEAKER_07:So then they can drive by and say hello to me on their way.
SPEAKER_01:Badass coffee off the 210 in between Milliken and Under Norway. Day Creek. And Day Creek.
SPEAKER_07:It's off D Creek, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Past Day Creek. Right off the I'm sorry, it's before D.
SPEAKER_07:Creek, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Before Day Creek. Right off the exit. So if you're heading to Big Bear, if you're gonna get off on Milliken. Millican. Um badass coffee.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I now know it, and when I'm heading that way, I'm gonna stop and get badass coffee.
SPEAKER_07:Until you change it into Can't Be Broken Coffee.
SPEAKER_01:Until we come up and then go, hey, you guys are too small. So can't be broken coffee.
SPEAKER_07:You can buy the little nail studio next door and oh yeah, they have a nail. Give them a run for their money.
SPEAKER_01:Fitness places. They do.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, that's right. There is a there is a fit like a little boot camp.
SPEAKER_01:You don't work out there? No. No. That's like a boot camp thing.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you don't do boot camp.
SPEAKER_06:No.
SPEAKER_01:You do like strength.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, I go to gold.
SPEAKER_01:And have badass coffee while I'm doing. Um and then uh yeah, you go to gold. Oh, you go to golds, but it's EOS now.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, they just changed like this last weekend.
SPEAKER_01:Me too, yeah. I go to gold's.
SPEAKER_07:I'm not gonna lie, how sad is it that I want to change gyms just because it's not a gold. Like that's that's the ego in me. I'm like, wait, but I work out at golds.
SPEAKER_01:That is the ego in a lot of golds people because it's been around the whole.
SPEAKER_07:It's a little bit, you know, that's a good thing. It's a little less busy though. Yeah, just since they changed the name. And nothing's changed except one of the signs.
SPEAKER_01:I don't know. Yeah, I don't know if that was a the smartest move. I would I mean for me, if I wanted to buy them, I'd say, look, I'm gonna buy you, but I'm gonna keep the name.
SPEAKER_07:That's that would be yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Because why do you want to change the name?
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, I feel the minute they change the name, it's like everybody's muscles felt smaller or something because they got a bunch of people left.
SPEAKER_01:Uh no get to the chopper now.
SPEAKER_08:My bicep just went.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, exactly. Fuck, what's going on now? Um, but yeah, they kept the only one, which I think in Venice.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah. That one's never going anywhere.
SPEAKER_01:I don't think so. I don't think so. Well, you never know. If they do, I'm buying it for sale.
SPEAKER_06:I'll buy it. Yeah. If they sell that one, I'll buy that one.
SPEAKER_01:I love it. I love it. You're very ambitious.
SPEAKER_06:I I am. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:We should start this podcast now. Okay.
SPEAKER_06:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Probably just put this in right before. Yeah. Because I don't know, even know who I'm talking to right now. That's an AI grow. This is really quick. This is great AI. You guys don't know about it. Um, well, it just started. Yeah, I should just done. You're the first one that I do this with.
SPEAKER_07:Really?
SPEAKER_01:Like I started right before.
SPEAKER_07:See? We're already creative juices flowing. Creative juices. Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Moving forward.
SPEAKER_07:It's more natural that way. You know, we're just meeting each other, and now the whole world gets to see us meet each other.
SPEAKER_01:Just talk. Yeah, just talk about it. With badass cops.
SPEAKER_03:Just talk about badass shit.
SPEAKER_01:I really like this. I'm I'm really like I try to go literally. I'm like, when I get a like um when I get happy or super like something's great, I just keep talking about it. I don't know why.
SPEAKER_07:That's that's okay. Hopefully you think I'm great and you keep talking about it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, there we go. We'll keep talking. Um, what up, what up, and welcome to another episode of the Can't Be Broken Podcast. I am your host, Sea Monster, and I am here with a special guest who you've already heard us talking. If I put this in and uh in the episode, which I probably will. Um, but she's a special guest who has an amazing story of perseverance, resilience, determination in overcoming adversities. Welcome to the show, Destiny Owen.
SPEAKER_07:Great introduction. Thank you for having me.
SPEAKER_01:That was the first time I read it down to you.
SPEAKER_07:I liked it. You're gonna have to forward that to me so I can introduce myself like that from now on.
SPEAKER_01:I still have more. I didn't finish.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, go ahead.
SPEAKER_01:You want to read you wanna redo it? Sure. No, no, no. We can we just write into it. She's a person who's learned from her mistakes and overcome addiction. Yeah. And now giving back to her community and those around her.
SPEAKER_08:That is accurate.
SPEAKER_01:You want to keep I can keep going.
SPEAKER_08:I don't have buttons say it. Go ahead. As long as I get a copy. So if I need that ego boost, I can replay.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, um, well, um, welcome to the show. Thank you very much.
SPEAKER_07:Thank you very much for coming down here.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, you're welcome. Thank you for taking time to share your story.
SPEAKER_07:Exciting.
SPEAKER_01:And uh share your story with others and being vulnerable and making sure we're telling everything authentically to help others and whatnot. So um, Destiny Owen, tell everybody a little bit about yourself, where you grew up a little bit, and your childhood and stuff, um, and then we'll go from there.
SPEAKER_07:All right. Let's see, where do we want to start? Okay, so I was born in. I was born in way back in the 1900s. Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_01:You're a seven eighties baby.
SPEAKER_07:I've I'm a 83 baby. 83. What was that face for? Oh, okay. Oh, all right. Since you're my elder, I'll let I'll let you make that face. No, so I'm uh yeah, I'm 42 years old. Wow. Yeah. Um I was born, where was I born? I was born in Bellflower.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_07:My mom lived in Azusa when I was born. Um, I moved out to Fontana when I was three years old, and I've pretty much lived Fontana area uh pretty much my whole life, except for when I went away to college.
SPEAKER_01:Um where'd you go to school?
SPEAKER_07:Um I went to college in um Anaheim. So I wasn't that far away, but still back then when there was uh no GPS and all, you know, you had your Thomas Guide maps in the back of your car, it felt like an eternity away.
SPEAKER_01:You know, I kept mine like for a while in the car until I'm just like, you know. Yeah. I I did you knew how to use it then.
SPEAKER_07:I do. Somebody showed you. Yes, my dad would not let me go anywhere without having the San Bernino County one, the riverside, and uh whatever else. Yeah, he I remember having three.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:And he'd check my car. You got all three in there?
SPEAKER_01:That's cool. That's good. That's a good dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For that, maybe for that part.
SPEAKER_07:Let me finish the story. No, I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Actually, you know, my my dad is he is my savior. So um I was born. That's a quite an interesting story. So when I was born, my my dad's white, my mom's Mexican.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_07:Um, I know looking at me, I just kind of look like a like a regular white girl, right?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, a little bit, a little bit.
SPEAKER_07:Blonde hair.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:But um, believe it or not, my my grandparents on my dad's side wouldn't allow me to meet my father or come in their home because I was Mexican. So yeah, so um I didn't meet my dad until I was three. Um, and my mom and dad, when they had me, they were 17 and 18. So my dad knew that he wouldn't be able to be part of my life until he moved out of the house. So he for a couple years saved up money, bought a house in Fontana, and then me and my mom moved in there. But um, yeah, I wasn't allowed in the home. It's very interesting looking back because, you know, you don't know that when you're young. But I remember my grandfather telling me stuff like, well, why do you look dirty all the time? Or, you know, and I I don't I'd literally go in the bathroom and try to scrub my skin. And I I knew that I looked different than my dad's side of the family, but I I did not really understand, you know, why or what it was that made made me so different. And uh he was really And you have light eyes? Uh they're brown. And my natural hair color is really dark brown.
SPEAKER_01:Dark brown okay.
SPEAKER_07:And um, when I was younger, I looked definitely a lot more Mexican than I do now, which is kind of interesting. It's I don't know. But um I was real hairy, dark, you know. My mom got my ears pierced when I was two days old, you know. I had that feathered back haircut that was in back in the 80s.
SPEAKER_08:So so my mom, my mom didn't help my case very much.
SPEAKER_01:Do you speak Spanish?
SPEAKER_07:No, no. My mom had a well, my mom never really ended up being part of my life, so I I didn't I never learned.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, tell a little bit of everybody of like how your childhood was growing up with your parents a little bit, and then um I know there's a little bit of uh you started, I guess, drinking at 11. I was at 11 years old.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, so so my um, let's see, my mom and my dad, like I said, moved in together when I was about three, and that was just chaos. So a lot of drugs, um, a lot of partying. Um, and that obviously wasn't going so well. So in between the drunk field nights, I remember hearing gunshots go off, my dad shooting the roof once or twice to scare my mom. And anyways, during this amount of time, my mom got heavily, heavily um addicted to crystal meth. And um, my parents obviously weren't doing so well. Uh, so I moved out with my mom, I think, when I was five. The problem is I moved out with my mom, but I never moved into anywhere. So we spent about two years living out of cars. Um quite an interesting lifestyle. My mom kind of turned tricks for a living. Things that I saw that I thought kind of, oh, this is just what families do, I guess. You know, I didn't really understand the dynamics of it. Um, it didn't start to really hit me until I remember an insatiable hunger. I was always hungry. And that's I think around maybe six, where I started to realize I was different than other children because I was so fixated on always getting food. Um and that actually the malnutrition part of my life created issues in my health later. And that's kind of where later I will lead when I tell you why I'm so into health. But um, you know, I I remember my mom sending me up to doors to beg for food and I'd bring it back and she'd take it and go get drugs with it. So it was a whole thing. And um, and God bless her soul, you know, I had a lot of resentment towards her, but I've worked through that. My mom did have some brain injuries when she was young. Um so she was never fully capable of being a mother. Um so, anyways, long story short, after kind of living that kind of lifestyle for two years, she uh she had a lot of resentment towards my father. So she didn't want my dad to have custody of me, so she was gonna go through hell or high water to make sure that he didn't get me. So she tried to drop me off at a foster care facility. Um and I was there, you know, I can't remember how long. Um, I just have memories of a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And um they had asked me at some point where my dad was. And it's funny because me and my dad were just talking about this the other day and kind of putting the puzzle pieces together. But I think what happened is that she told the foster facility I didn't have a father so that she could drop me off and go through the process of letting me go without him having a say so. And after she left me there for a little while, they somehow figured out that I did have a father. Maybe they got a hold of my birth certificate or something like that. And so um I remember something of that nature happening, and they called my mom. So my mom came back to the facility and I hadn't seen her in a few weeks. And she tells me, Hey, how do you think, you know, what do you think about going to see your dad for a little while? And I'm I at this point, I'm smart enough. I've been through some shit. So I'm smart enough to know, nah, I think you're trying to, I think you're gonna keep me there, you know.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:And I was pretty brokenhearted because as a child, you love your mom no matter what, you know. Um it didn't matter the thing she was doing, I just wanted to be with her. And she had filled my head with so much stuff that my dad did wrong, which he did do some wrong, but you know, even more so during the years I was with her that I thought he was this monster. So I didn't want to go. But I remember she said, Well, this is on Father's Day, believe it or not. She calls my dad on the phone from this foster care facility. And apparently I he I just learned he didn't know about this whole foster thing. So this was news to him and literally as of last week. He's like, Oh wow, he didn't know this.
SPEAKER_01:So they called me and they you you and your dad right now at this point are trying to like put the puzzle together for several different things that have happened.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, yeah. Like we're just at that point where we're kind of like talking over those few years. Um he said that it's always been hard for him to think about because he just figured that no matter what my mom was going through, he she would have been good to me. You know, he kind of didn't want to know everything and went through. Um, because it hurts him. You know, it hurts him to hear that, you know, he wasn't, he'd feel like he wasn't there. But but anyways, I remember they called my dad. And as much as I didn't feel like and didn't want to go to my dad's, the first thing he's I asked him, I said, Um, well, if I come over, can can we eat? And I remember eating good at my dad's, you know. So he said, Honey, if you come over here, we're gonna have a steak dinner with mashed potatoes. And I said, All right, bring me over. So he was telling me the other day, he goes, I remember you got dropped off. You had no shoes on, no underwear. I had one little skirt on with a little tank top. My hair was disheveled, a mess, and my mom did drop me off. And how old were you? I was seven. Seven. I was seven. And um, my dad lived alone in the house that he used to live with my mom. So she gave me this hug, and I just remember crying because she told me she'd be back for me, and I had heard that before. So I just remember being devastated. I knew she would I knew at that I knew she wasn't coming back. Um and I knew if she did, she'd never be the same. You know, when you go through a lot as a kid, you grow up fast. Your intuitions, um just the things I understood at that age, uh, I don't think most seven-year-olds would have, you know, would have understood.
SPEAKER_01:Maybe even 15, 16, 18 year olds would have been. Right, yeah. If you you experience life through a different lens, a different lens, yeah. And you see things and you're you're able to, you know, the as they say, book smart, street smart, and you kind of had that street smart already. I did growing up. Yeah, yeah. You know, you've gone through a a lot and you you're you're seeing a lot of different things.
SPEAKER_07:You know, it's funny, I was I even things as far as uh navigating, like I remember from a real young age being able to sort of like my mom would hang out in crack houses a lot. And so I would be able to sort of pick which one would be the safest person to be around. You know, I could distinguish like this person's dangerous, this person, yeah, is lost, but they wouldn't hurt me. And I would know if my mom was gonna go off on a binger or something, and I would gravitate and stick around those people that I knew I was at least safe with. You know, that that I was learning those survival techniques at five years old.
SPEAKER_03:That's crazy.
SPEAKER_07:Um even at the smallest things is like animals, yeah. Having animals around me, like that I knew barked at people. Just I, you know, you do what you have to do to survive. Yeah, and you'll do it pretty young.
SPEAKER_01:Wow. That's crazy. Um so then at this point, your dad is your mom still she's still alive?
SPEAKER_07:She believe it or not, she is, and she's now sober for nine years. Uh can't believe it. Can't believe she's like, Yeah, I do. I would say we finally have a relationship over about the last three years. Um, she's not the same. She's she's she's done a lot of drugs and she's not all the way there. And I would say she's sober, but she's also on about 12 medications. So that mom that I knew, you know, I I always think of her as this apparition. The mom I always wanted was not, you know, just something that I was always wanting. And I'm just at peace with who she is now. And um, I accept her and I love her, and she comes to visit every once in a while.
SPEAKER_01:Well, you've done a lot of work for yourself in regards to accepting that and stuff.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah. Um You know, I think it's just that I realize uh the cards she was dealt she could only, you know, she could only make one hand with. And uh she she did what she did, but I do know she loves me. And um and everything that I've been through, I'm so grateful for now. So so it's just a piece of my story.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you know. And then do you know what part of Mexico she's from?
SPEAKER_07:I don't. Unfortunately, I my mom was one of six, so she had uh five brothers and sisters, uh, four sisters, one brother. And because she was kind of the black sheep of the family, I don't know that side of my family. You don't know? I don't I uh I have met a few aunts and uncles, but I'm not gonna lie, I think uh after my dad got custody of me and none of them really kind of came around, I learned to survive on my own. And by the time they reached out, I was older and I I just didn't really want it anymore. I don't know if it was resentment at that age. It could have been. Um, but you know, I had kind of created my own family, and those are the people that I wanted to spend my time with.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Move forward. Yeah, move forward.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um tell a little uh everybody a little bit about so how you got uh well had your first drink at eleven, you know, and how how that came about. Obviously, you're you're growing up quickly, you're seeing things.
SPEAKER_03:Definitely, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um, and then you go to your dad at by seven, right? Yeah, and then uh you're going to school. Yes, and then how all that progressed.
SPEAKER_07:Well, my dad got custody of me at seven. Um my mom didn't even show up to the court date. She called two weeks later and she was like, Oh, um, you know, then when's the court date? And kind of, yeah, too late. It's already been done. But I I had accepted by then that I was all right. But besides the fact that my dad parked the motorcycle inside the house and that I had to that was part of my chores was to dust it every clean my motorcycle. And I was making full-blown meals. Uh, you know, I was the woman of the house at seven years old, cooking every night, cleaning. Um, but you know, but but I will say I had a good dad. He he was home with me every day. He never went out once, he never brought one woman home. You know, he fully invested in me. So so once I got with my dad, I I I really did well. I skipped a grade. Um, they actually wanted to skip me too, but he didn't want me to be too much younger, which he was smart because being younger than everybody did create issues later on in life. Um I think I always wanted to fit in, and uh, I was younger than everyone else because I got skipped. So I was only 12 when I started high school, you know. So yeah, I graduated when I was uh 16. I didn't walk until I was 17, but you know, he wanted me in when the streetlights were on, you know. He was the kind of dad that I'll give you an example. A kid tried to walk me to school, a boy, and he went in the backyard and showed him a noose, and I never saw the kid again.
SPEAKER_01:Not not not this girl, not this girl.
SPEAKER_07:So the problem with that was I had already had a taste of a little bit of the wild side, you know. So um I I I revolted. I revolted a lot. Um, but I did well in school. I graduated with the 4.1. Um always did well as far as that went. But um I I'll never forget. I would, and then my mom was coming in and out of my life, like maybe once a year here and there, you know, and she would uh she would entice me with a carton of cigarettes every once in a while or or some weed. So she was never a good role model, per se, you know. Um, but I do remember around 11 years old, um me and a friend that lived down the street decided to take some vodka from uh from the cabinet. And I remember drinking it, and it started to be kind of like, oh, we do it once a week type thing. Um, and then we started kind of sharing with friends and blah blah blah. And I realized right away that I was gonna be a different kind of drinker because I didn't want to share. You know, I I'd rather go home with whatever I could get with my lunch money, hang out in my room, do my homework, and drink all the beer and then go out and hang out with people and and do it. So I I noticed that right away, but I thought to myself, well, I'm not like my mom, I'm not doing speed, so so that's okay. Yeah, you know. Um, but yeah, I definitely recognized very quickly that it went from zero to a hundred quick. So from maybe the first few weeks of drinking, right away I wanted to be drunk every day. You know, I how was I gonna save my two bucks a day for lunch money and get myself a Mickeys? You know, you remember those days? Right. Or was I gonna get with two friends and get a 12 pack of natty ice, you know?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when you got drunk, what kind of drunk were you? Like party.
SPEAKER_07:Um I would say, I would say for the beginning of it, it was just a relief. You know, it was numbness. A numbness that I never felt before. I didn't have to worry, I didn't have to, I didn't have to be that quote unquote dirty girl, you know, that my grandpa talked about, or try to fit in, or I don't know, just it gave me the sense of escape. But it got out of hand fast. And I would say by the time before I could even drive, I was that kind of drunk you didn't want to be around, you know. I was um I was that one girl you didn't want to invite to the to the block party, you know, because I was trying to start fights or I was just drinking to a blackout, yeah, you know, real young. Um I and and then I got I changed a little bit when I got my driver's license because I got a job and I think a sense of me always wanted a little bit of discipline. So I did okay for a little while, but then now I had money and a car and I was drinking. So um freedom. Freedom and my first DUI at 17.
SPEAKER_01:First DUI.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, 17 years old.
SPEAKER_01:Were uh were you going to a party? Were you just driving?
SPEAKER_07:You know, I I think I was just driving home from work. I got I was working at Burger King.
SPEAKER_01:I was drunk. I was going to badass coffee.
SPEAKER_06:I was probably on my way. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And I was gonna get a coffee and I got pulled over. I'm like, I was not drinking. I mean, I was till four in the morning. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Something like that. It was definitely nowhere. 17 D 17 got my first. And uh Were you thinking?
SPEAKER_01:I'm thinking, you know, like at your age and stuff, a lot of people right now are applying to college, you know, high school. They're like, oh yeah, you know, what am I gonna do in my future? What do I want to do? Grow up. You know, parents are talking to them about their future in college or not school work. I never got talked to, like, never got talked to. But in your mind, did you ever think that? No, where you're like, I'm just gonna work or did you have to I did.
SPEAKER_07:I actually really wanted to go into the Navy. I did. Um, but I got pregnant.
SPEAKER_03:I got pregnant. So 17.
SPEAKER_07:As a matter of fact, I had gotten a phone call from uh a recruiter. I remember taking the ASVABs, and I guess I scored like second highest for a girl in Southern California, so I was offered like the nuclear program. And but I found all this out two days after I found out I was pregnant. So I never and something I never did. But um getting pregnant at 17 did sober me up. And um I did go to nursing school. I didn't finish. But I changed majors into uh pharmacy and so it it it did its, you know, I I was a decent mom for a while until I wasn't.
SPEAKER_01:Until you weren't until I wasn't. How old's your son or daughter? 25. 25. 25.
SPEAKER_07:Son. I've yeah, I have two boys, 25 and 10.
SPEAKER_01:25 and 10. Yeah. Okay, so 25-year-old son that you had at 17 sobered you up because you had to.
SPEAKER_07:Because I had to.
SPEAKER_01:And then uh bad mom, how?
SPEAKER_07:Well uh, you know, I still hadn't learned how to live life on life's terms. I thought I made all the terms. And um it for a little while it would be he would go visit his d well, for I'd say for the first two years he didn't really see his dad. But after that two years, he'd go every other weekend. So I'd be pretty good, going to school, going to work full time. I we had our own place, you know, I was doing all right. But the minute he'd go visit his dad, I couldn't remember a single thing of that weekend. I mean, I would just party so hard.
SPEAKER_01:He'd try to say, Hey, I need some freedom. I need to escape again.
SPEAKER_06:Exactly.
SPEAKER_01:And then you're on your own with your with a kid. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:With on my own.
SPEAKER_01:And and the dad uh obviously you guys didn't work out, but still want to be part of the the Chelsea the He did, he did.
SPEAKER_07:Um He was also an alcoholic, though. So I I dealt more with his mom. So his mom was more more uh of the figure that represented that side of his so I didn't really speak to the dad very much. Okay. So I would share him with his grandma every other weekend. Okay. But um but what happened was I think let's see, um around that time I started having some back issues and I got diagnosed with a herniated disc and I got um highly addicted to the pain medication. Like uh Norco, clonopin, those were were my favorites, probably. And Xanax and adding all those together. That was that was the fun dip.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um the fun dip?
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:People don't know what that is. You know what that is. Yeah, that's why you said it. Yeah, people don't know what fun dip I'm gonna do.
SPEAKER_07:You just kind of lick it, stick it in, and see what comes out. Wow.
unknown:Wow.
SPEAKER_01:Wait, we gotta explain what it is before we get like, what are you talking about? What is this podcast about? You explain it. It's this little um candy that looks like a stick, like a marker, like a not a marker, like almost like a chalk, like a piece of chalk, but flat, yeah. But flat. And then you open up the uh the bag and it has a sweet or whatever flavor like a Kool-Aid powder almost.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Explaining it better. And you you lick it so that it can stick to Yeah, so you can dip it in there. You can dip it in the.
SPEAKER_07:But you don't know if it's you're gonna get a clump, or you know, you don't you don't never know how much is gonna come out. So that's what that's what I call the fun dip addict.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and then you lick it, or sometimes if you're not you don't want to wait, you bite it.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, you sometimes you just get crazy, you can't take it anymore, you just bite it then.
SPEAKER_01:That's c that's called the fun dip. Um let's come back to what we talked about. So then you had your son sharing.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You got addicted to prescription.
SPEAKER_07:I didn't I managed that for a little while. Like I I think um I quote unquote did a good job of being functional. You know, um I found a good in-between, oh, I'd I'll just take one Norco, you know, and and for four hours. But then it got to the point where I was I am I'm and I'm not over-exaggerating, I had to take eight at one time just to feel anything anymore. And um obviously this started seeping into what I was doing as a parent and school. And I did graduate, but um by then I was a full-blown addict, just making it day by day.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah. And and addicted to prescription. Prescriptions. Other stuff were in between making uh making their way there, that you're like, okay, I'm gonna stop this, but then something else came along to take its place, or no?
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, I mean, you know, it honestly, I would at the very end before I went to prison, um, I was taking anything. I just I was so sick if I didn't have something in my stomach. Um, I would say the last three months or so. Um at that point I had already lost my son and all that was was gone. So I was taking anything.
SPEAKER_01:I I mean you lost your son wine because of because of my addiction. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_07:His his grandma was a good idea.
SPEAKER_01:So grandma was like, hey, you you can't care for your mom. And this is how old he is now.
SPEAKER_07:Um at the time he would have been eight. So he he probably got taken from me when he was, yeah, uh about eight years old.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah. And seven and a half, eight years old.
SPEAKER_01:And then you still continued on the once he was gone, I went, I went I didn't care anymore.
SPEAKER_07:I I was I thought I'm done for. I I I came to the fact I knew I was either gonna die or you didn't care about yourself. I didn't care about myself at all. And and honestly, ending up In prison wasn't an option because I had gotten away with so much previously, I just thought that I'd never pay a consequence. I just really didn't understand.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:And um so I was I was okay with dying. I I when I got arrested, I was looking for heroin.
SPEAKER_01:What'd you get arrested for?
SPEAKER_07:A DUI. Another felony DUI. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Make it a felony. Is it because it's your second one, or what was it made made it a felony?
SPEAKER_07:Because it was my fifth one.
SPEAKER_01:Five DUIs. So you just or prescription medications or drunk or some pretty much all the time.
SPEAKER_07:Oh my whole my whole life.
SPEAKER_01:So you had to go get more, you were there. You were.
SPEAKER_07:And back then, see, I worked in a in a pharmacy for some time. So I knew the ins and outs. And back then, all the systems weren't connected. So you could go get a prescription in Orange County, and I could go then to Riverside County, see a different doctor, get the same prescription. I was doctor shopping by the end of the day, you know, and and they were giving them out like candy back then. So or I would trade. A lot of people liked oxies. I didn't really like oxy. So I would trade my I would get oxy sometimes and trade for Norco or whatever medications. You know, it was just like a, you know.
SPEAKER_01:See that growing up young that you saw on the streets and all that. You learned everything how to do all that. Like I don't even know.
SPEAKER_04:You're like, oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_07:That's my internal shadiness. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:That's crazy. I don't know that. All right.
SPEAKER_07:Luckily, I've done a lot of therapy to get rid of rid of those characteristics.
SPEAKER_01:Um Wow. So five DUIs, the fifth one. You had obviously gotten to court.
SPEAKER_07:And what did the Yeah, but here's the thing is I never went to jail. Never. Oh.
SPEAKER_01:Good help, go to AA.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I had done some programs, but never even successfully finished any of those. I think when I got arrested, I had two DUIs that I was currently going to classes for. Um so what happened was I got my first one at 17, second one at 21. I might have even been 20, because I remember them making a big deal about the fact I wasn't even of age yet, and it's already had two.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah. You have DUIs and you're drinking, or anything like that.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, right. But this is this is what's crazy is back how are you getting it? Back then, it wasn't as big of a deal. You know, I remember getting pulled over with an open beer and the cop just having me pour it out.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:You know, or I remember one time they called my mom and had my mom follow me home.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:So it wasn't like it it is now. Yeah, everything's changed. The world's changed. Yeah. Yeah. So 21, I already had two. Then I think I got my third one at like 23. And then when I went, when I got my last two, they were a week apart from each other because I just didn't care anymore. Yeah. I just didn't care.
SPEAKER_03:I you know.
SPEAKER_07:So I before I even got a chance to get prosecuted, I so I already, you know, I'd been arrested. So that's why I ended up doing so much time because I had to face the consequences for all of them at the same time.
SPEAKER_01:How long? Well, first of all, what did the did the judge say anything to you? Like, you know, you know, ma'am.
SPEAKER_07:You want to know what? Not really ever. At the time, um, I was arrested in Huntington Beach. And at the time, uh back then, there had been a famous figure skater uh and a baseball player that had been killed by DUI drivers. So I got the book handed to me, and I'll never forget when I got my sentence, the bailiff teared up and started literally crying and said um that he couldn't believe how much time I got because he sees pedophiles come in and out, and he's never seen anybody get as much time as I I have for the job.
SPEAKER_01:So how long did you get?
SPEAKER_07:I got um a county year and eighteen months in prison. So total So a total county year in Orange County was nine months in uh in county jail and then eighteen months in Chowchilla State Prison.
SPEAKER_01:And where's that at?
SPEAKER_07:Um Chowchilla. You know, good question, because I was behind bars the whole time. I don't know. No, it's Kern County, I believe. Oh, Kern County. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And I served about half of that. So um because you get 50% when you're in so yeah. If I would have been in LA County, I would have s my county year would have probably been three months, but since I was in Orange County, I did nine months.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um how was jail, prison?
SPEAKER_06:Great. No.
SPEAKER_01:Why did I ask that question? No, but I mean, like right now, it's like Disneyland. It really is.
SPEAKER_07:Um, it was, you know, county jail and prison are two different worlds. Number one. Yeah, yeah. Um, after doing nine months in county jail, I couldn't wait to get to prison because it sounds like like heaven, because you get to go out on the yard and there's a lot more freedom. But what they didn't tell me is that there's also a lot more bad people in there and they're nuts.
SPEAKER_01:Some of them are life for 18 years, whatever it is. So they don't care really.
SPEAKER_07:And they don't like when you come in and if you're leaving soon. They don't like that. And they don't like if you're good looking either. Yeah. They do not like that. Um so yeah. Because they have girlfriends and you know, they it women's prison's very different. They create families. So men's prison, uh men's prison, it's race. Women's prison, you know, I I had a mom and dad, and I was their baby. It it sounds crazy, but but that's how they do it. They create little subfamilies. So I had two lifers that wanted me basically to be their child, so they took care of me. Um, obviously, I would do stuff for them too. It's like a little organization, but a family unit. Um, so I got in in with some lifers and so I got I was pretty protected, but they're crazy. I was in there with the last Manson um girl when she passed away. Yeah. She was boy, she was something else. She she would just walk around the yard and pick up rocks and and uh put them in specific places. And if anybody went and moved the rock, they she'd go crazy. Yeah, she was something else. She was different. And I I was in there when she was in there.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, just following Manson and tells me enough. That's good. But now picking rocks, no big deal. No big deal. It was it was I would have just moved them on purpose.
SPEAKER_07:Some people did. Some people did.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, why not? You know, pick fights want to mess around with people. Yeah, man.
SPEAKER_07:And let me so let me tell you, the big um, I'm grateful that I went to prison because I don't think the year I did in county would have scared me straight. Prison scared me straight. Um, when I was in receiving, because you're there for two weeks and you're locked in a six by or eight by ten cell uh with one other person while they figure out what yard you can go to because they have to look up if you have any co-defendants. Um my roommate was nuts. And um I have to tell you the funniest story. I'm gonna I'm totally gonna let go of my street credit here, but let's go. So I get this this bunky, and um, she's I I mean, she's just crazy. And you you could kind of see the guards' TV from my little tiny window, and I saw that Michael Jackson had died. So I told her, Michael Jackson, this girl, she went psycho on me. She didn't hit me or anything, but everybody in our C block could hear her screaming at me, Michael Jackson's not dead, you effing, da-da-da-da-da-da. You know, all the curse words. Well, get this. So we go to sleep that night. The girl somehow got bit by something. No joke, like a spider or something. I still don't know what it was to this day. But when we came out of our room for chow the next morning, she had a big swollen eye, and everybody thought I kicked her ass.
SPEAKER_01:Oh shit.
SPEAKER_07:No shit. So that's how I got my street credit. What God had my back.
SPEAKER_01:And you didn't say anything.
SPEAKER_07:Fuck no, I didn't say anything. Everybody nobody liked her because she'd be yelling and screaming all the time. So everybody was coming up, giving me sliding coffee underneath my door. Yeah.
SPEAKER_08:I didn't say I did do it, but I sure in the hell didn't say I didn't.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, that is crazy. That's cool. That's cool as fuck, right there. Oh my god. So I would have been like flexing.
SPEAKER_07:Like, you know, you know, you know, and I'm I'm pretty uh dulable and sometimes I don't see things. So at first I didn't even put it together. I'm like, what's going on? Like, why are people gifting me things? And you know, and then finally I think somebody came and like, you know, gave me knuckles and was like, good job for taking care of that bitch. And I was like, oh yeah, yeah, I got you.
SPEAKER_01:Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it. I got it. Oh my god. That's cool. That's a good thing. Yeah. Yeah. So so I don't think any of them are listening to your good.
SPEAKER_08:You know what? If they are, I'm in trouble.
SPEAKER_01:Or if I go back, I'm yeah, you're not going, you're not going back. All right.
SPEAKER_08:Luckily, that was 18 years ago and counting. So uh that was 2000, or see, it's 2008. So what is it? 17 years in counting. Yes, 18 years ago.
SPEAKER_01:So prison and then you get out.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, but you know, um prison changed me. Not not not just it didn't, it wasn't just the fear. So, you know, there's a lot, there is a lot of fear in there. Uh like I'll give an example. There was a girl that got a a curling iron shoved up her. I mean, you they have everything in prison. You have pots, pans, fire.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:There's nothing that you can't get. TV, um, you know, you watch a lot of br British comedy in there. Like prison's its own little city. And but the thing is that you got a lot of immoral people that have a lot of freedom.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Um, but I started I st I wanted to get away from that so bad that I started running in prison. Um, I had never been active. I was always like that straight A student, but got, you know, no points in PE because I didn't want to put forth any effort. Um, I started running in prison, just run around the yard. And I started like, okay, how many rounds can I get in this one hour we have? And then I tried to start beating myself. And um and something happened to me. I started feeling good. I started feeling a little bit of control. Um and I started, I asked my dad, um, because I knew going in that I had lost all my medical license that like wouldn't be able to work my old job and all that. So I asked my dad to start sending me um anatomy books and business books. And um, I just started studying and um running, studying, running. And I made myself like a little list of disciplines. So, you know, Chow was at five. Okay, well, after Chow, I need to run this many laps, I need to read this many chapters, I need to put, you know, 30 minutes into my business plan once I learned what that was. Um, and I would make myself a schedule. Um, and I was just really determined to leave there a better person. Wow.
SPEAKER_01:Really determined. You know, running, people hate it. I still hate it. Yeah, I mean, I I don't like it. You know, it sucks. I went running this morning with my dog, and um but it is it frees your mind.
SPEAKER_07:It does. And and I say I hate it because I'm more into like bodybuilding now.
SPEAKER_01:But but see, bodybuilding, you're working out, right? It's hard. You're like, yeah, it gives you a different pump. It's a different it doesn't free your mind. Because there's a lot of things going on.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, what reps and how many reps, and you gotta count them, and then you have to, okay, what am I doing next? And who's around? There's a lot of distractions.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:If you just run, especially like trail run for me.
SPEAKER_07:Especially even if you do it with no no music. And I I started doing that like once a week, I would run with no earphones.
SPEAKER_01:No.
SPEAKER_07:Um and just pray and just and just have like listen to the Can't Be Broken podcast. Yeah. Well, I that's what I'll be doing now. That's what I'll be doing now. But I think it's important to spend time with yourself without distraction. Yeah. And if you add that into increasing your physical capability, um, you know, it's just that's what transformed me.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's I mean, running is what got me clear as well. And um, I love it with music. I have like an external speaker. Um, but sometimes I just quiet it down when I go out on the trails and I'm just like you and just kind of like listen to all the noises and animals out there and the birds and everything moving. But then also I like to sing, so I'm just with myself. And sometimes I'm like that's beautiful. Talking to myself, like, what the fuck am I doing out here?
SPEAKER_07:And then you look around and go, Do people see me talking to myself?
SPEAKER_01:And then I'm like, I'm by myself right now. Like, what if I like roll my ankle? Who's gonna help me? Right. Yeah, all these different things.
SPEAKER_07:I have to tell you something. Um when I was running in prison, uh, you know, I I can't even tell you. When I got out and my dad let me borrow his uh iPad or what were they iPod they were called back then? It would go around your sleeve.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, the uh I don't think they were iPods. What were they? Uh the little mini pods. Whatever they were called.
SPEAKER_07:You would download music onto it from like LimeWire.
SPEAKER_01:Lime wire, Napster.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Lime wire was the best.
SPEAKER_07:Let me tell you, the first run that I had outside of prison walls with that little thing strapped around my arm and music flowing in my ears was a freedom that I just had never tasted before. I it still I look back, it gives me goosebumps because I came out of prison and and then I'm running and I'm just looking at the sky and just looking, you know, you don't you take things for granted. I realized when I had gotten to prison that I never saw the sunset for nine months when I was in county. You know, um just being out in that freedom and having like physical strength for the first time in my life, and I was like, you know what? I can live like this.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:You know, I can do this. I can do this life, I can do it sober.
SPEAKER_01:How did um what what was the next chapter or what did it look like when you got out of prison with uh I know you were probably scared and going, like, what's the next step? Where am I gonna go? But also you have your son who at this time is how old now?
SPEAKER_07:So by the time I got out, he was nine.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so nine. Yeah. And that was what was what were your thoughts like getting him back, having part of your life, and then what how are you gonna make a living? Like what was that? Yeah, great question.
SPEAKER_07:Great question. So, like I said, when I was in in prison, I started reading business books, but I'm I felt very defeated because I remember reading a chapter about you know, you gotta get a loan for a business. And and uh I thought to myself, there's nobody that's gonna trust me with five bucks. You know, no nobody my dad didn't even trust me to bring the blockbuster videos back.
SPEAKER_01:Like Blockbuster, wow.
SPEAKER_08:Am I aging myself even? Well, you're good.
SPEAKER_01:I know some people are like, what's that? You can't just use Netflix?
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_01:I have Paramount, whatever.
SPEAKER_08:You really did. And he's like, I ain't trusting you with my blockbuster videos.
SPEAKER_03:Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, um, no, I I when I got out, there was a few problems. One was finding my way back into my son's life. Um, I had only seen him one time when I was in county. I didn't want him to see me in prison. Um so you know, that had been a long time. But we did, I wrote him every day. I drew him pictures or wrote him every single day, and he still has those. Um I just knew when I got out he was gonna be my first priority. And um, I refused to even get when I came out, it's funny because a lot had changed. This was like when hangover hangover came out and phones became much more, you know, uh accessible. Um a lot changed while I was gone. Um so when I got out, everybody was using cell phones, which it doesn't seem like it would make that much of a difference. But when I went in, texting wasn't as big of a thing. It like a lot had changed while I was gone.
SPEAKER_01:You were in that sweet spot.
SPEAKER_07:I was in that sweet spot, yeah. So when I got out, I refused to get a cell phone. I was like, no, I'm I want to be fully present for my son until the day that he's living under my roof again and I'm got it back together. I don't want any outside, anything on the outside bot you know, even bothering me. So um the problem was when I got out, I didn't have a driver's license because who's gonna trust a five-time DUI to drive? So they took it for I a year and a half because I had to finish a year of classes and it took about half a year for me to save up the money to get in. So I was on a bicycle for a year and a half. But let me tell you, that's where I learned the meaning of determination. So I promised my son when I got out I would never miss another football game. And there were times I was riding my bike up to 35 miles to make it to practice in the rain. 35 miles. Oh yeah, but I never missed one.
SPEAKER_01:What kind of bike did you have?
SPEAKER_07:Um, not a nice one.
SPEAKER_01:No, but was it like a like a like a to change speeds?
SPEAKER_07:I I started off. It's funny, so I started off. I remember I'll never forget the first one I bought off like Craigslist, and I didn't know it was actually a man's bike. And I remember like parts of my body being very sore because apparently the seat was not made for me. And then uh at that point I had gotten lucky. I got a job at um California Pizza Kitchen. I met this wonderful lady that was willing to give me a shot. And um I was able to buy a pretty decent one. I don't remember what kind it was, but I did eventually work my way up to like a like maybe even a Schwin or something. Yeah, yeah. It changed so much.
SPEAKER_01:35 miles is a lot. I mean, if you I don't know if you had gear changes. I did by that time.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, by that time I did.
SPEAKER_01:Because if you don't, you're like 35 miles. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:I started off with the basics, but I yeah, I worked my way up to a nice little bike.
SPEAKER_01:But it didn't matter because it wasn't gonna stop you.
SPEAKER_07:It wasn't gonna stop me. Nothing was gonna stop you. Nothing was gonna stop me.
SPEAKER_01:That purpose. 100%. That drive, that determination, that priority. Your son, I'm gonna get there. I'm not gonna miss, I'm gonna be present. Yeah. Because my parent or my mom wasn't or didn't have direction, guidance, all these.
SPEAKER_07:I had decided that I was gonna be the chainbreaker because something that I learned in prison was that I didn't have to do everything that my parents did. I didn't have to use drugs. I didn't have to but but because I had never been disciplined or like I legitimately until the day I went to prison didn't know I was kind of doing the wrong things. I was just emulating what my mom and dad showed me. Right.
SPEAKER_03:Right.
SPEAKER_07:Um more so my mom.
SPEAKER_01:But in prison, you you said you learned these things.
SPEAKER_07:I did. Discipline.
SPEAKER_01:Do other people do not learn some of the stuff? It's is it like how did you learn that you were not gonna be this person anymore, that you didn't need drugs to do this, that you were gonna be present, that you were gonna run and freed your mind, like all these lessons that it taught you, some don't. How did how did that happen to you?
SPEAKER_07:That's a great question. Um I think there was a couple things. One was I remember a girl that did a lot of my time with me. Um, she's probably gone now, but she woke, she killed somebody in a DUI, and uh she got 10 years. And I just remember thinking, like, how lucky am I, you know, to had with all the things that I did, and God forbid, thank God I never hurt anybody, um that really honestly I deserved more time than I spent. Um, I think it's, you know, your your perspective is either your passport or your prison. And it and it's the way you look at things. And um and I'm not gonna lie, I got a little bit uh a little bit I was told by one of the COs there, they called me over one day and said, Hey, Owen, come here. Yeah. Uh how old are you? Twenty-five. Have you been here before? No. And he says, Well, you'll be back. And I walked away from that man.
SPEAKER_01:Just like that. Just like an asshole.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, just oh, they're they treat you like dog shit in there.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Not to mention that they they they're terrible. They're terrible. Yeah. Um, but I walked away from that man.
SPEAKER_01:This was a it was a man. It was a man. But they have a female. Most of them are.
SPEAKER_07:Most of the COs in there are men. Okay. Yeah. And there's some dirty ones in there too. Yeah. There's some dirty ones. Um, but I walked away thinking, no, you know what? I'm gonna show you, I'll never be back in this place. And not only that, but I'm gonna live a life ten times better than you. I didn't say it to his face, but that's what I had stuck in my head.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:And I thought to myself, how miserable are you that you're in here doing this? You you choose to come here every day, and you gotta come in here and belittle people. I thought, you know what? I'm I'm gonna be a different kind of person. I'm gonna be different.
SPEAKER_01:That's so crazy how you went from drinking in 11, getting addicted, yeah, having five DUIs, going to prison. And a person telling you that in your mind is thank you for letting me know, and thank you for telling me that because now you just fired me up here. Yeah. You know? Yeah. But not all some people don't have it. And I don't know if that's something you think is internal or I'm curious. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:I wonder, I I really do. I wonder I you know why because I'll I'd I'll just tell you, that day lit a fire in me that I still feel burned to this day. Uh I don't know what it was that clicked for me, but I just knew I knew that I don't know. I just knew in a in a weird way, I was actually grateful. Like I started thinking about it later, and I was actually grateful that my job got taken away, that my license to practice in pharmacy got taken away because I get to get out and start new something new. Yeah. And something great. And I I knew that I was I knew I was gonna do it.
SPEAKER_01:Um my belief, obviously, that I don't know, is that it's all it's in us. Yeah. Everybody.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I think you have to internally go through a a situation where you feel so either embarrassed, so bad, something emotionally that gets dumped on you that changes you. It either changes you or you just accept it. So it's either the fight or flight, right? So give an example. I have this kid that I'm training and I don't know how to get the effort out of him. I don't know how to make him say, Hey, you're not giving me 100% of something that I know you're capable of.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I don't expect you to be the best athlete, but I expect you to give me A for F or you know, focus, pay attention, all that, be present, all that stuff, but just not getting it out. And so I started thinking that it's not until he doesn't make the varsity team, or he gets cut from a team, or something happens. Happens that rock bottom that is either gonna trigger him with change, and I'm not gonna allow that to happen because I didn't like that feeling or something, or he's just gonna go like Oh, I'm gonna choose another sport and you know, and I think with you, since you learned how to be a fighter since a young age and how to survive and all that, you just kind of took that and go, these are all the hard lessons, and now I'm being punished, and this is not what I like, and emotionally, and then this guy's uh words and how he told you and everything go boom, and you just said, I'm going the other way. Fuck it.
SPEAKER_07:I did. I did. I think it maybe was a buildup. Maybe it was a buildup of you know, my grandpa not accepting me because I was Mexican as a kid. Maybe it was a buildup of always, you know, trying to excel in schools for my single dad to pay attention to me, or all these things, and then all of a sudden it just kind of hit me like, you know, I'm gonna do this thing for me. And um I I think that's what happened. I think it was just a buildup, and I just had enough. Yeah, I had enough of everybody else telling me what my value was.
SPEAKER_01:So um so then you you drove 35 miles to practice, never miss, never miss. Yeah, I did, I did.
SPEAKER_07:How did I know that was a lot of I remember when I got my uh my first car after that and it had a blowing device in it?
SPEAKER_01:Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Oh man, that was fun. So so I had to have I got but it but by then I had my son back. So I got full custody of him the day. I didn't, no, I didn't, no. Um it just something that kind of happened naturally.
SPEAKER_01:Um the other side says, yeah, hey, we look at you, you're a change person. You're doing good.
SPEAKER_07:Are you doing all the right things? So I got very lucky with that.
SPEAKER_01:Um and and not to cut you off, but like how did how did it feel coming out, not having um you know, alcohol? Because there's there's alcohol, there's pruno, there's all kinds of stuff that can happen in there. But you were sober in there. Yes. And then when you came out, how did you decide or how did it all happen to become sober and not have anything anymore? No alcohol, no uh drugs or prescription drugs. Like how did that all come about?
SPEAKER_07:Well, you know, it's interesting, it's hard to stay sober in prison. Um, there's a lot of drugs, and I'm not gonna lie, I thought about it. I thought about it um because, you know, you got time to do and what's gonna make your time go by faster. But I also envisioned myself having to call my son and say, Oh, I got extra time, you know, and not go home on the date that I was my exit date. And I I just couldn't do that to him, number one. And the way that I looked at it is I thought, you know, Destiny, you've been trying to do this thing your way for a while now, you know? And um, why don't you try doing it the right way, God's way for a minute and see how that works out for you? Because, you know, that life of the streets and the drugs is always gonna be there waiting for me. If I ever want to go back to it, it's gonna be patiently right outside that door. Yeah. But why not just give it one, give it my all one time, you know, and see how that goes. And that's what I did, and I I never stopped.
SPEAKER_01:That's amazing. And then did you go to AA meetings? Do you still go or anything?
SPEAKER_07:When I when I first got out, I went to AA meetings, it was part of my parole. Um, but I went every day when I got out, which wasn't part of my pro. I was supposed to go, I think, once a week. Um, I did go every day because I felt like I s I needed to learn a new structure. Um, and I did go to them for years. I don't anymore. Um personally, just because I feel like I'm I've got God now. I've got my church, I have my church family, I have spiritual, spirituality, I have all those things in play. And some people, it's funny because some people in AA will say, well, if you don't continue AA, you're going back, you know, or you're gonna. But for me, it's been working, you know. Um, but I did use AA for a great, it was a wonderful tool to have for the first few years while I, you know, reconnected with society. Um, but I'm just in a different place now, and um, I want to surround myself with more growth. So I've moved on from those to um other things. Um and I live my life still the same way, very disciplined. You know, I have to work out every day, I have to eat correctly every day, I have to read something that um, you know, makes me learn every day. I practice a musical instrument. Yeah, I I have a itinerary of things that I know I need to do to stay sane.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Right?
SPEAKER_01:That was my next question. It's like, what do you do? And you know, the advice you can give, and it's probably an itinerary daily routine of stuff. It is.
SPEAKER_07:Um The thing with me is that um I'm an addict. So my addictions can manifest anywhere, which means work can become an addiction, working out can become an addiction.
SPEAKER_02:For sure, for sure.
SPEAKER_07:Um, so I I have done a lot of therapy, I have done a lot of self-realization, a lot of meditation, a lot of prayer to figure out where the mediums are for me and kind of, you know, what I need in my life to be joyful. And I just make sure that I hit those points on a daily basis.
SPEAKER_01:Well, how do you deal with or what advice can you give for people that are trying to stay sober, away from all, you know, whatever negative stuff and addiction when they go to parties and you're having all this stuff and other people drink, you know, and you can't tell them not to, you know, whatever. But you're there. Like, what do you do and what advice can you give people for something like that?
SPEAKER_07:Aaron Powell That's great. I remember um for the first few years that I was sober, my even my dad would tell me, You are so much more fun when you were drinking. And like, you know, thanks for being so supportive. You know, number one, I I I let them know they always have a DD. That usually takes care of it, right?
SPEAKER_05:That's pretty good. Yeah. There you go.
SPEAKER_07:My friends always want me to go out with them because, you know, I I I will say for the first few years I stayed away from anything like that. But when I got to a point now where I'm strong, I can do all those things. I just um I know where it leads me. You know, um, and I pull it out my gratitude list real quick. So if I start to feel at all like, oh man, I wish I could do that, I think about all the things that I could lose. And I just think about it like this. If I have to think about something that much and put that much thought and effort into having a drink, is it really worth it? If I could possibly lose my job, my family, if there's any chance I could possibly lose my car, my home, is it really worth taking a drink? And I don't personally think it is. So I weigh out those two things. And, you know, I think now it's easy because I surround myself with people that know that it's just a no for me. You know. Um nobody in my circle is ever gonna push that on me because you know, and a lot of them don't know me. And and sometimes it's funny because I'll tell them, you don't want me to drink because you're not gonna like the person that I am. You're not gonna like who I am when I'm trying to start a fight with you or trying to hook up with your boyfriend. Or you know, I'm not saying that those are exactly, but that that's the kind of person I was when I was using. I had no morals. And, you know, I do now. So I just let them know the kind of person that I can become.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. You know, when you find that you don't allow external forces to uh control you. No. You are in control of yourself and where you want to go and what you want to do. You don't show up to a party and and uh the external force of like all right, everybody's drinking, I'm gonna drink. That's when you know you're you're you.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um and that you're in control of your choices and your being and you're strong internally, and something's driving you to a higher purpose. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_07:Um I think that uh when I when I was about, let's see, it's been about eight years, so I must have been seven years into recover or whatever it was. Um I had a boyfriend that passed away. And he was a recovering addict. He had been sober for quite some time, but he was a recovering heroin addict, and his uh his mom died. And uh he couldn't handle it, and he tried to use and he died. And um that really cemented it for me, you know. Um, because it can just happen that quick. Just that quick. You can just say, I'm having a bad day and I I think I need it, you know, I think I want to try, you know, I want this escape for one minute, and that's all it takes is that one time. You know, especially nowadays with fentanyl and and all these things, those are things I didn't have to worry about when I was in my active addiction.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:But I'm I'm terrified of what they have out there now. Like, I've I know quite a few people that have passed away from, you know, taking a pill that they didn't know what was in it. And uh it's scary.
SPEAKER_01:It's really scary. What do you um what do you tell your son?
SPEAKER_07:I'm very honest with him. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:When did he learn that obviously he knew you were in prison but didn't probably didn't understand it at the beginning. Yeah. When you got out, and as you're getting older, when was that conversation? What was it like of like, hey, this is what I used to do, this is how I grew up, or well, you know.
SPEAKER_07:Unfortunately, my older one has memories of me nodding off and and he but he sees who I am today and he's very proud of me. And I'm proud of him because he doesn't drink, he doesn't, he doesn't do drugs, he doesn't none of that stuff. He's just a good solid kid. Um my younger one, he's never seen me like that. He doesn't even know, but I still tell him about it. I haven't he's only 10, so I haven't gone into real specifics with him, but he knows he loves the fact that I don't drink or do anything because he he's just he loves that he can always count on me to be 100% there. Yeah. Um he loves that. So um that's great. But it is two different dynamics because my older one, um, he's seen the progression and the growth, which makes us like best friends. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You know, he's seen the change, yeah. Of course, it's really great.
SPEAKER_07:He has seen the change.
SPEAKER_01:The other one doesn't know any better.
SPEAKER_07:He doesn't know any better. No.
SPEAKER_01:And you have a good relationship with both? Yeah, great relationship. The younger one obviously lives with you. Yes.
SPEAKER_07:And then the older one He lives uh in down the street. Down the street. Okay. Yeah. So he's pretty close. We do, you know, dinner every Tuesday, and we're we're so close. And I'm just so grateful. So grateful. So yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um you've obviously, man, that's a lot.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, that's a lot, right?
SPEAKER_01:Um But what advice, I guess, you know, in in giving some advice through this podcast and this platform, what advice would you tell somebody about, you know, having the life that you've had very rough at 7, 11, uh drinking, all that stuff, to seeing what you've you've seen to five DUIs, to go into prison, to having your your son take away from you, all these like crazy things that that there is more out there, even if you go to prison, or how to stay disciplined, overcome like what did you do, and what advice can you kind of give some people?
SPEAKER_07:I would say um, you know, for me it's been 17 years now, and uh what have I what I have acquired since since 17 years ago over the last 17 years um is miraculous, is is beautiful. But if you would have told me, if you would have told that girl walking out of the gates of those prison doors that today I'd be, you know, working with children, running a nonprofit, um, have my own, you know, successful business, uh, making a difference in the world, I wouldn't have seen that for myself. I think the number one thing is you gotta believe in yourself. You gotta be willing to bet on yourself every day. Um, you know, see the value in yourself. I wish I could go back to that girl, you know, 17 years ago and tell her, like, hey, you're gonna be all right. Just keep one foot in front of the other. Um, and that is it. That is it. Take it day by day, and there's gonna be storms that come your way, but you don't have to resort to going back to the old life. Um, you know, those storms are just polishing you. You're you're you you you keep moving forward and you'll keep building and life just gets better and it does get easier. It gets so much easier because once you start accumulating things, um, especially for myself now that I get to work with the youth, um you know, I highly recommend anybody that is has an ad if they have an addiction or are coming back from something like that, invest in helping others because I do what I do, not just because of the children, but I do what I do because they help me.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:They remind me of who I want to be. You know? So a lot of people will tell me, like, what you do is so nice, and uh and it is, and I love what I do, but a lot of it's for me. It's for it, it's because it keeps me right.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:You know?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I think that's why I do this podcast. Yeah. Because it keeps me right. Yeah. You know, I love talking to people, meeting people, the great energy. Um, and that's what I do it for. Um That's awesome. Uh you just took my other question, which was what what advice would you give yourself, you know, your younger self, which is great. But tell a little uh tell some people a little bit about your nonprofit and what you do now and stuff.
SPEAKER_07:Um so our nonprofit is uh the Camp Shape Foundation. That one is a uh residential program, a summer program for children ages nine to twenty. So because at 18 they can come back and work for us and learn how to build a resume, um, you know, start uh learning work ethic. But what it is is it's a program that teaches exactly what I kind of learned needed to learn to get my life started, which is discipline, healthy eating, social emotional learning skills, you know, just character building skills. Um we have a young entrepreneurship program so that children come live with us for six to eight weeks um and make some major life changes. And then uh we've also got um Shape Your Destiny, which is my for-profit business. Uh we do the same curriculum, but we work with um different school districts across Southern California, and we do the same types of programs um, but for after school, before school, and also with children that have behavioral issues.
SPEAKER_01:And then how did that get started? Like how did you that that come into your mind to do that? Great question. Great question.
SPEAKER_07:Um what happened was it actually started about, I guess it'd be about seven years ago now. I got called on to be the nutritionist for uh quote unquote Fat Camp. I don't know if you remember uh MTV, they had a show on called Fat Camp.
SPEAKER_01:You know, I don't remember, but I just saw something that they did. I think it was the biggest loser.
SPEAKER_07:So it was kind of like that, but for yeah, but but like a younger genre.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Um, I got called on to do the nutrition classes for that specific camp. So teach the kids and et cetera. At this time, the world was still looking at everything like uh caloric deficit, you know, um which is still true. But I mean, I guess the way they were looking at it was kind of starve the kids and let's see how much weight we can make them lose and make the parents happy when we send them home type thing.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Long story short, I show up and I'm just really unhappy because these kids are starving. They're completely just they they need nutrients to make it through workouts every day, and they were just going through it. Um and they actually ended up getting sued. But what happened was a lot of the kids that I started working with, because I went into the kitchen and I said, Hey, we're gonna change everything. You know, we're gonna, we're gonna give them the ample cal calories they need. Let's break this all down. You can't feed a 16 year old that's 300 pounds the same thing as a nine-year-old that's 60 pounds and expect them to work out all day. So um, so I went in and I changed a lot of the things so that the children told their parents about what I had done. And so a lot of the parents wanted their kids, told their or asked me, would you do your own camp? Because we'd love to send our kids back if you were the one doing it. And here comes that, that old me again, not knowing my value. And I think, I'm not, you know, I'm I'm not smart enough to pull all that off. Um, you know, how would I even go about that? Like, could I even possibly, you know, get the insurance to do? So I put in some work on learning about it. And the next year I put my first camp on. And um after doing that for a couple of years, the schools came to me and asked if I could take that same curriculum and teach it at the school districts. And um, I've never looked back. It's it's amazing. I think uh when that happened, it all clicked for me. It was like, okay, that's what God's purpose. That's what what that's what his purpose is for me. Yeah. So remember that fire I told you I felt. Um it felt when I started doing that, it felt like that fire finally got, you know, it got to the perfect temperature. It was nice and warm. It's like this is where you were, this is where you were meant to be.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:And I just I'm so joyful that I get the chance to see these kids at the same age that I started making bad choices. I get to be a part of what choices they're making. You know, I get to change their perspective and teach them and be with them and show them that they are so valuable. Um, and I get to truly help them reach their highest potential, you know, and it it's a it's a beautiful thing, and I feel like I'm just so blessed.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I'm sure they're blessed to have you and what you've done. Obviously, it started from day one when you were helping these kids out, and then they went and told their parents how amazing you were. Um, and they're lit the fire, like you said, to to to um to do something for yourself. And that's crazy that you've have felt that the whole your whole time, like not feeling valuable enough, or that you could do this. Um but we all do, and I think at one point or another, yeah. I mean, I know that you know, when I started my business or whatever, or somebody approaches me with something new, you're you're hesitant. Yeah, you know, you're just like, oh shit, I don't know if I could do that. Yeah. I mean, I for uh for a while I wanted to start a podcast and I knew how valuable it could be.
SPEAKER_07:And um and did you doubt yourself?
SPEAKER_01:Oh, for sure.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:First first of all, I'm like, what do I what do I do? I don't know. With all with all the information at your fingertips, I didn't even look it up because I was just like, nah, nobody's gonna listen. You know, you just keep putt putting these negative thoughts in. Nobody's gonna listen. Yeah. How am I gonna get us started? What logo? I mean, there was so much, yeah. And uh, like, what am I gonna talk about? Who am I gonna get on? Who wants to be on? Like, I it was just everything was like negative, negative. And there was this guy um who actually we started together, uh EA Essence, he calls himself. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, actually, you gotta follow him. He's he's he's really good, very poetic, very, very heavy. It sounds poetic, yeah. Yeah, he does, he's really, really cool. Cat. I actually just texted him this morning. Um, we started it together, so he was the one that pushed me. Like, let's go. And I was like, Oh, okay. I thought for some reason I thought he wanted to interview me in a podcast, but he wanted to talk about doing a podcast together. Okay, and boom. Okay, and then he did a couple, and then he left the show. And I just took over. I'm like, I love this. Wow. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna continue to do it, and then I just had to figure out how to do it. But yeah, I was super hesitant. I don't know if it's gonna work, kind of like you doubting yourself.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah. And then I think we have a tendency just to look back and think of like, you know, just whatever mistakes we've made in the past, you know, a lot of times we get stuck there, our subconscious, and we think, oh well, I'm still that person. I you know, I'm the person that did this, or I'm the person. Like, we don't forgive ourselves, you know, and then we doubt ourselves. Yeah. And um and uh well, change is hard.
SPEAKER_01:Change is hard. Change is hard. And and you know what? Uh you just gotta go go for it and do it because uh eventually you'll get through it and you're like, if I didn't start, I wouldn't have known how great it could be. Look at you if you didn't do what you're doing now. Like, look how great it is. Yeah, yeah. So um Do you have a favorite quote?
SPEAKER_06:Ooh.
SPEAKER_07:That's a good quote.
SPEAKER_01:Or some scenes or credos or anything that you kind of live by, you know?
SPEAKER_07:Um yeah, let's see. We have this one that it's funny, it's always on my uh, it's actually like my little quote at the end of my emails and everything. And what does it say? Uh oh gosh. No, I'm being put on the spot. What is it?
SPEAKER_01:Uh go on your phone and email me. Yeah, yeah. You can. You can go on your phone right now. Not a big deal. Go on your phone. Trust me, when I get put on the spot for certain, like I'm like, whoa, what's my favorite quote? I'll give you mine while you look at it. Okay. Okay. So mine is uh less and less do you need to force things until you arrive at non-action. Where nothing is done, nothing is left undone.
unknown:Ah.
SPEAKER_01:So, you know, I I practice hitting. I practice hitting or I do something. At first, I have to think about it. Like, oh, this is what I have to do. I have to move my hips, I have to bring my hands here, I have to do it. And so the more I practice it, the more confident I become, and then less and less do I need to force it. It's just gonna come. And that's anything in life, you know. Like you said, less and less now going to these parties and certain people you hang out with, do you think about drinking or think about using or anything like that because you just don't do it anymore. That's not you, you know? Yeah. You're 100% right. Um, what else? Let me see. I like uh less and less uniform confidence increases in direct proportion to the amount of preparation put into your endeavor. Ooh, you're good with words. I learned that was a long time ago when I was a kid. Remember when you used to like learn lyrics from like your tape, put in the tape, and I'm like, oh, I like that lyric. I'd write it down and memorize the song.
SPEAKER_08:Would you really?
SPEAKER_01:So, like, that's a coach told me that a long time ago. I'm like, say it again, coach. You know? And then I just I thought it was so cool. And uh so I just remembered them. But in a fancy words, that's it, just means the more you do something, the more confident you get. So I love that. Yeah. Well, she's looking at it for all that. She didn't want to have and it's fine. She didn't want to have it.
SPEAKER_07:Actually, uh-oh, I got I just ordered the new a new one. This is the 14.
SPEAKER_01:Uh-oh. Mine's messing up on me, actually. I was just telling my wife that I need to uh get another one. Yeah, do you did you? This is look at this.
SPEAKER_08:Oh, that thing's tiny. It's like a little Barbie phone.
SPEAKER_01:And I still have the I still have the the the little button there. What is that thing? The home button?
SPEAKER_08:Oh, you do. Oh my gosh. I didn't know that that one was even this is I'm telling you, nobody has this.
SPEAKER_01:I'm telling you, this is antique. This is vintage here.
SPEAKER_07:I can't uh I can't find my original quote, which is funny because I say it all the time. But I do, of course, you've heard this one, but I love it. The watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your character, and watch your character, it becomes your destiny. Which I just think um I loved the first time that I heard that quote, because that is the epitome of taking it step by step, right? Yeah. Just just words and thoughts, and then that's what creates, you know, your everyday patterns, and that's what creates your characteristics, and that's where where you're gonna end up in life.
SPEAKER_01:So Yeah, I mean, build I mean, like I said, um the little things and the daily habits and the routines eventually build into something. Exactly. If you're just like food, if you're eating shitty 80%, 90% of the time, you're gonna feel shitty. Your body's gonna look shit. You said if you're eating chili, oh, that that could be a problem too. If you're eating chili, it could be a problem too. Every day, yeah. Unless it's really good chili. Um I haven't eaten chili in a while.
SPEAKER_08:I made chili on Sunday because it was raining, and I was like, oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You make good chili? I do. Yeah. Yeah. Spicy or no?
SPEAKER_07:I'm a baby when it comes to spice, but my son is. See, see, nobody the white people don't accept me or the Mexican people.
SPEAKER_01:They're like, no, it's like me. I'm I was born, I was born in Mexico, right? Okay, but uh came here very young, four years old. And uh excuse me. And um I go back to Mexico and they're like, oh, bocho, you only speak English. I speak Spanish, but not like them, right? Like, throw it out there. And then you're here in America and you're like, oh, you're Mexican, you know, you're whatever. I'm like, nobody accepts you in both countries. Oh you know, so so we have the same feeling. We do, we do. You look better. Um, yeah, so that's why it's hard. It's hard. You go back over there, you're like, you're not Mexican. I'm like, I was born in Mexico. Yeah, but you don't live here, so you're American. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, okay, I'm American. But then I come to American, Americans are like, you're it makes sense.
SPEAKER_07:You know, when I the small amount of times that I have met like the Mexican side of my family, they're like, Mija, you need to eat. Come on.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah. They always want to fatten you up.
SPEAKER_07:They want to fatten me up.
SPEAKER_01:We got tomatoes over here. Yes.
SPEAKER_07:And I'm I'm like, no, I'm good. I try to eat healthy, and they're just like, oh, Mija. Like I'm starving to death or something.
SPEAKER_01:When I got all in shape and running, I was like doing these ultras and everything. My mom's like, Mijeho, you you look too skinny. I'm like, Mom, I'm running. You know, that's what I'm doing. So I'm I'm eating healthy and all that. No, no, Mijo, you need to eat. Exactly. You're old school.
SPEAKER_08:But you but you go, it's uh it's funny too, because like Christmas time is like that.
SPEAKER_07:They have so much food, you know, just you can't stop. But you go to the white side of my family, they only make enough for like one serving.
SPEAKER_01:How many people are we having? 12, okay. We got 12 plates only.
SPEAKER_08:You don't get doubles of nothing. They're stingy.
SPEAKER_01:The other one's like, hey, we got a lot. Take some home.
SPEAKER_08:Yep. They got a big thing of Tupperware for you to take home, you know.
SPEAKER_01:Bring you the Tupperware back. Washed, okay. Um uh who are some of the people that uh you associate with uh with now? And then who are some people that you credit your change to or that you I mean, they can be people you know, people you don't know, people on social media that uh inspire you, that motivate you, that drive you?
SPEAKER_07:Ooh, great question.
SPEAKER_01:I'm sure your kids.
SPEAKER_07:Absolutely. Of course.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Of course, my children. They my children are everything to me. You know, they drive me um a hundred percent. Um but also, you know, people like I'll give you an example. Um, I think you know Arlene from A2F gym. People that are like-minded, that have gone through similar circumstances. You know, she's doing great now. She went through some things and you know, she's real happy and she owns a gym now and she's gone through diversity. I I love surrounding myself with people like that.
SPEAKER_01:Um is that what you go work out? You work there now?
SPEAKER_07:Um, I I worked there as a trainer for seven years. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_07:But um, now that I'm just working with the kids full time, yeah. Yeah, you know, that's that's what I do. But um, I look up to people like that. I look up to people, you know, I love the fact that she was, you know, 50 years old before she even so she used to train at my gym. So I owned a gym before her and she trained over there. But I remember when she started, she was 50. And, you know, she had so many people, you know, uh, you know, thinking it's too late. And and, you know, she she went out there and she's still killing it today, you know, and she's doing fantastic. It's people like that that I love, you know, to be around and to surround myself with. Um, and there's been a lot of people along the way that have just been so helpful, you know, like I'll give you an example. When I opened my very first gym, I used to hide my past a lot. I was really embarrassed of it. Um and I finally opened up a little bit about it to somebody I was training with the Chino Police Department and told them how I wanted to open a gym and et cetera. And um they ended up being the people that gave me all their gym equipment so I could open my own my very first gym. So, you know, they believed in me.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:And here I am thinking, you know, they're just gonna judge me. You know, they're just and the you know, it it was just ironic that I was so afraid to to show them who I really was. And the minute that they heard my story and and they were like, wow, look how far you've come. And they ended up being the ones that helped me start my first gym.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. You know, yeah, I think a lot of people are attracted to people that are coming from hardships or things like that to help.
SPEAKER_07:Right.
SPEAKER_01:More than anything that more than like, like in your mind, you're like, I don't want to tell them this part of me because they look at me this way right now. Exactly. And they know the best of me. Yeah. And when I tell them what I've done or what's happened, they're gonna think a certain way. Definitely. But in reality, they think, oh my God, what an amaz like what even better person.
SPEAKER_07:What even like Well, I remember one of them telling me, um, you know, Destiny, the only difference between me and you is I did stupid things and I didn't get caught. Oh, one of the things. You know, and I thought, wow, you mean I guess, you know, I guess I'm not so different just because my, you know, the choices that I made, but everybody's made wrong choices, you know. Everybody's had their moments, you know, everybody's gone through some stuff. And especially nowadays with social media and the fact that all we do is really present um the best part of our lives. That's what people are always expecting.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Um, it was a little bit hard, like when you're a trainer, because you you you always want to look right. People are always judging what your lifestyle is. Obviously, now I don't have to worry about that as much because I don't train. Um, but you know, you're you're being judged a lot. Yeah. Um, so it's a hard it's a hard lifestyle to live. And I just think we should all be more open because the way that we can help each other is by being vulnerable. You know, if if I don't share my story, my stories just happen for no reason. All that pain I went through, it's for no reason at all because who's gonna learn from it if I don't share it?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. My sister, uh, I'm not gonna share her story because I don't know if she wants it share it or whatever, but uh same thing. She was doing what my brother was doing and what I was doing, and so and so she just happened to get caught a couple times doing different things, ditching school or whatever, whatever she was doing. That I'm like, oh, you got caught. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? We have exactly but uh I never ditched, by the way. Yeah, sure. No, I never did. Oh, you really didn't? Oh boy. I like going to school.
SPEAKER_07:Did you? I did too, but I still like to ditch too.
SPEAKER_01:I never ditched. I ditched one time and it wasn't a ditch. It was like I called my mom, mom, I don't want to be here. It was when the the teachers were in strike in LA County. Okay, and uh all they were doing for that week was like going to the auditorium watching movies, Goonies, or whatever. Okay, and I'm like, this is dumb. I can go hang out with my buddies and play some baseball or do something else.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So I called my mom on a payphone.
SPEAKER_03:Did with your quarter. Yeah, my quarter.
SPEAKER_01:No, I think it's free at school. Because it was at school, like inside school. Nice. Okay. Oh, you're you're really old.
SPEAKER_08:I'm just kidding. I'm messing with you. I'm messing with you.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so this is the end of the podcast. I appreciate it, Destiny Owen.
SPEAKER_08:I'm messing with you. I'm messing with you.
SPEAKER_01:That will get cut out. I'm just kidding. I am old. I turned 51. Um Did you really? I will. December 12th. I'm 50, so.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, okay. I I honestly thought you were 44 or so. No, I did. I was messing with you.
SPEAKER_01:This gray hair and everything. Um the uh I color my hair too, all right. Do you really? Well, right here, this white stuff.
unknown:Oh, nice.
SPEAKER_08:Little baby powder.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, no, they they say they like the the the white stuff, the the gray. You know, um, no, so um, yeah, I called her and I said, hey, I'm not gonna um I don't want to be here. Okay, where do you want to go? Well, I'm going to Oscar's house, my friend. And okay. Call me when you get there, obviously, because this is no phones, no text, yeah, no tracking, nothing. I gotta get there. Mom, I'm here. We're safe. Cool. Call me when you want me to come pick you up after school, kind of deal.
SPEAKER_05:Like at that time.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, cool. And uh that was it. But so my my sister um did all these things, and so did we. And uh, there's no judgment. I think she lives with that sometimes. Um like she thinks we judge her, but I don't judge my sister. I don't judge anybody, obviously. Everybody's done some bad things, things they regret, things that don't go their way. Yeah, we all make mistakes, all that stuff. And it's some uh it's up to her to move forward and say, you know what, I don't care who judges me or not. And I think she's obviously doing that. Um but I had to live with judgment as well as other things, but there's no judgment, you know, like whatever she's done, I think we've done, or we've many people have done, and she's just gotta come uh confront that and say, you know what? Yeah, I just got caught. Kind of a deal. And I feel like our, you know.
SPEAKER_07:I feel like our um situations are flip-flopped because my sister um is a police officer. She works in she works in forensics.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_07:And uh we always make I always make a joke with her, like, uh, what are you talking about? We did the same thing. I just went through the wrong door.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. That's true.
SPEAKER_07:She uh she says she's you know, she kind of she lived life, you know, she didn't even drink till she was 21. She's always done everything so yeah, straight and arrow. Yeah, and I'm so I we need a little dirt on cops mostly.
SPEAKER_08:I'm always telling her, I'm like, can you do something? Can you just do something wrong?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_08:Just need a little, I need a little oomph out of you. She's great. I'm proud of her.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, that's good.
SPEAKER_08:But just a little boring.
SPEAKER_01:A little boring.
SPEAKER_07:You know, I I like a little spice.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, a little spice. Not in your food, though, not in your chili. Not on my chewing. Not in your chewing. Um we'll tell a little bit of uh everybody a little bit about how they can find you for your foundation. Sure. Things like that for the profit nonprofit. Yeah. But before we actually before we get there, you also do yoga for and and work out.
SPEAKER_07:Well, okay, so once I started getting educated as far as um, well, I obviously became a personal trainer, but I just never stopped going to school. So um I'm a certified master trainer, um an expert yoga instructor, a certified nutritional specialist, um, a certified youth health and wellness coach. Um and what else? Oh, and uh I said the did I say the nutritionist?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Okay. So um those are kind of like my specialties. Um that's what's all enveloped in our program for the kids. Okay. Yeah. So um our information regarding our children's programs uh is that shapeyourdestiny.co. Um and our information for the nonprofit is campshape.org. Campshape.org. Yes. So all our information is there. Okay. And I did finally remember the quotes.
SPEAKER_01:You did yeah. Uh we had a little pause. If you didn't hear it, if you can hear it on the edit, we keep it real over here. So we took a little break, not based on us, we took a break because of the batteries went dead.
SPEAKER_07:And I had to go potty.
SPEAKER_01:We both had to go potty. That coffee was good. Badass coffee.
SPEAKER_08:And it was driving me crazy to find that the quote that I literally use all the time.
SPEAKER_07:It's even the attachment onto my email. So I want to share it with you.
SPEAKER_03:Go ahead and share it.
SPEAKER_07:So it is if you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you. And that is uh from Zig Ziglar.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, we just looked at Zig Ziglar.
SPEAKER_07:Which you told me, which I need to do some more research on him because apparently he's you know who's also a great you were asking earlier, people that I look up to. Um Les Brown. I love him.
SPEAKER_01:Oh yeah. Well, he's in that space. Les Brown is right there. That's fantastic. His story.
SPEAKER_07:I mean, it to me it's just remarkable too that he was uh labeled as quote unquote retarded and and uh it just took that one teacher to tell him no, you're not. Write your name on the board. And um, you know, he was told that he was mentally disabled and he believed it until oh, let's dance. Is that my phone? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Oh let's dance some more. What is that on then? Why is that on? Hold on. I'm trying to find somebody that you're telling me about that I want to share with you. And music came on.
SPEAKER_08:What is that what you listen to when you're working out? No, I don't know what the hell. That was like some Tina Turner.
SPEAKER_01:This is not my phone. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_08:You just said 10 minutes ago, look at my phone. I got the old school phone.
SPEAKER_01:Old school phone.
SPEAKER_08:Um What kind of music do you listen to when you work out?
SPEAKER_01:Country.
SPEAKER_08:You do? Country.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_08:Like the slow stuff, or are you getting all sentimental, like tearing up?
SPEAKER_01:First of all, I'm a I'm a big um forever. Not that one. Like Garth Brooks, George Strait, old school, you know, uh Brooks and Dunn. Okay. Um Hank Williams, all that stuff.
SPEAKER_03:Scambler.
SPEAKER_01:Scambler, yeah. But then now new school and stuff that I like from like folk.
SPEAKER_08:Kane Brown and Morgan Wallen.
SPEAKER_01:Morgan Wallen, it's kind of my right there. Chris Stapleton's my favorite, but I listen to a lot of Morgan, a lot of Luke Combs too. Okay. Um, and that's just because I like folk country, but I also like like jazz country, like Chris Stapleton. Okay. I'm always talking then, yeah. And then there's a twang. No, but um, yeah, I just like I like I don't like it.
SPEAKER_08:I wouldn't have pegged you for that. I think it's because of the music that was playing on your cell phone a second ago, but right.
SPEAKER_01:I'm gonna find this guy. Um yeah, like country. Um, but sometimes I listen to right now, I've gotten into uh Gunner.
SPEAKER_07:Okay. Okay, that's a lot different.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, a lot different.
SPEAKER_07:Do you ever like listen to something and then you look at it?
SPEAKER_08:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Just kidding.
SPEAKER_08:But this is a true story. You ever did we switch to the case? I'm an alpha female by far. No, but you yeah, you you're playing a song and you're just kind of looking around like wondering if anybody can hear what you're listening to because you'd be a little embarrassed.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. You do that. Oh, yeah. Like I listen to Michael Jackson sometimes. I do, I love Michael, but if they would if I were vibing at a gym and I'm listening to like beat it, whatever, I think people be like, what the hell's in here?
SPEAKER_08:Start moonwalking on your cooldowns.
SPEAKER_01:Crazy. But I don't know. I think I think uh I I don't think I need the music to motivate me to lift or work out or run or anything. I just think it's like a feeling of like at that moment what's happening in my life, like when I run. Sometimes I'm like, oh man, I'm on one right now. I need some I need some house music or something. Sometimes I'm like, this is gonna be such a nice run. I just want to listen to blue combs and you know, just or something.
SPEAKER_07:For sure. How much different do you think the gym would be if earphones weren't allowed? Ooh, boom, mind blown right there. Uh because Arnold Schwarzenegger wouldn't listen to anything. He refused. He refused to he said he said that you needed full body awareness when he was.
SPEAKER_01:He was on a different level.
SPEAKER_07:He he's still on a different level.
SPEAKER_01:He is. Yeah. He has uh he has a book out, I think. Does he? Well, he also has a uh on Netflix, I think it is. There's a reality or not reality, uh documentary on him.
SPEAKER_06:Is there?
SPEAKER_01:Oh, it's really good.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, oh you've seen it?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's really good. Um he's an he's an amazing person. He is. I mean, for what he where he came from, where he's come from, what he did. I met him once. Oh, did you?
SPEAKER_07:It was kind of funny. Yeah, but it was right before he was gonna run for governor, and I was a uh green girl at a boxing match, and I was really disappointed because I was I must have been about 21, and I'm five nine, and I knew Arnold was coming, and I had on like five-inch stilettos they make you wear when you're holding up the little round signs. And I'm just thinking, you know, Arnold's gonna come in and like his Rambo outfit, like streaming down a rope or you know, and he shows up and he's not very tall. I was taller than him with my heels on, and he had a suit on and everything, and it I don't know, something just didn't it I just didn't impress you, didn't impress me. I just wanted to see him in action, you know.
SPEAKER_01:No, yes, but it was cool. Sometimes I wouldn't say he's your hero, but sometimes our heroes are people we fictionalize or see on TV aren't that.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, yeah. You know, and I went to shake his hand and I was like kind of towering over him and I'm like What's up, fool? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_08:And back then there wasn't cell phones, so I think I have like a little picture of it, like a side view somewhere in one of my like baskets.
SPEAKER_01:But I I really no selfies or anything back then. Yeah, none of that stuff. Um I really like Al Pacino. Okay, and I know he's a short guy. I mean, I'm a short guy, you know, but um you know you you in your head you're like whoa, godfather scarf for the song. That's what you think about when you think about the amazing presence of this guy and where he went to to acting school at and all these different things. And then maybe you meet him, you're just like, huh. But but you know, uh what he did is what we uh what for me, what they did on camera and what he's done there is what I go, that's mastery. Yeah, that's that's what I'm looking up to.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:The man, you know, comes in here, I'm hopefully he's just a normal person.
SPEAKER_07:For sure. You know, so I'd love to meet Sylvester Stallone.
unknown:That would be cool.
SPEAKER_01:Uh I've never met him, but I've seen him. He his daughter graduated with my niece at Notre Dame.
unknown:Really?
SPEAKER_01:Nothing Valley. Yeah. So I've seen him. He is big boy. Is he? But he dresses in that, he dressed in that um like a big suit that made him look bigger. Oh, yeah. He has that long face with the he had the shades on, you know. Nice, yeah.
SPEAKER_07:I'd like to his story is pretty cool too. You sound just like him. Just like him.
SPEAKER_01:Tulsa King, you watch Tulsa King?
SPEAKER_07:I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:Uh you don't watch a lot of TV?
SPEAKER_07:No, I'm I I I I more like, you know, I watch it with my 10-year-old, so it's not like uh something he'd really be super into. And for some reason, I really like true crime.
SPEAKER_01:I don't know why. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we get into it.
SPEAKER_07:I've looked it up before. Like, I like is it because I'm sick in the head, or they say it's because if you're inherently good in nature, it fascinates you. I'm gonna go with that one. That's that's the one I'm going with. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Oh man. I'm trying to look up this guy, still the motivational guy. Let me see if it comes up.
SPEAKER_07:You know, I was really apprehensive to get into Tony Robbins, but I uh but I finally listened to one of his audiobooks a couple weeks ago. What are you doing? Oh don't worry about what they bring to the table.
SPEAKER_00:Bring what you bring to the table. And some of you are not where you're supposed to be because you have limited thinking. He's good. I want to challenge it today. You're just as special as everybody else. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:He's real good.
SPEAKER_07:Um what's his name? I've heard him before on uh like the hip hop.
SPEAKER_01:A-E-T. Here it is. Uh Eric Thomas, the hip hop preacher.
SPEAKER_07:Is that on Motiversity? Have you ever listened to those videos? Motiversity.
SPEAKER_01:No, but as soon as I hit him, look, follow Les Brown. There is my many Johns, Tony Robbins, like all these people. Here they are.
SPEAKER_08:Love Les Brown.
SPEAKER_01:Gary V. I don't follow him. I really don't follow. See, all these people I don't follow. I just started following. I don't know. I just I don't know. You can follow whoever you want, right? Yeah, I guess so. I like uh Sugaroo too. Sugaro, I've heard. Yeah, he's he's a smart man. Smart man.
SPEAKER_07:But that's like the yogi world, you know.
SPEAKER_01:Oh yeah, yeah. I've never gotten into yoga. No. Should I?
SPEAKER_07:You should.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:It's not just um that's another question.
SPEAKER_01:Do you meditate, obviously?
SPEAKER_07:I do, yeah. Meditation's a powerful tool.
SPEAKER_01:You visualize.
SPEAKER_07:I do.
SPEAKER_01:I do. Um tell people what the difference is. Do you know?
SPEAKER_07:Um, like what for me, well, meditation is it's funny because people have different outlooks on it, you know. Um a lot of people think meditation is just trying to think about nothing. And um I I that's not true.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_07:It's having very intentional thoughts and sort of letting your mind work through those thoughts without any obviously anything going on in your surroundings. But you know, it's quite interesting. I've done like little tests on myself, like if I can like lower my blood pressure and my heart rate and little things like that. And and if it really does, it works. Um and the more you practice it, the the quicker you can get into those deeper, you know, deeper, I guess, worlds. I don't want to get too out there because I don't think of of meditating and yoga practice as a religious thing. To me, it's very spiritual, but it's very uh it's like body awareness and mind awareness and connecting the two.
SPEAKER_01:Self-acuity.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah. Um, I get asked that a lot by the kids at the you know, I'll even have kids at the school say, Hey, I'm not allowed to practice yoga because I'm Christian. And I'll tell them, Well, that's yeah, it happens often.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Um, and I'm like, Well, this isn't a religious experience at all. You know, we're just it's they're two very different things.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah, I think visualization is super important, met meditation as well, but also revisualization. At least for me, when I'm like running or doing something that's super hard.
SPEAKER_07:What do you mean by re-visual? What do you mean by that?
SPEAKER_01:So uh you visualize, let's uh say I'm gonna do a marathon. Okay. I see myself crossing the line, like face all this stuff, and uh, you know, what I'm gonna eat and like just finishing the cigarette.
SPEAKER_03:Smoking a cigar.
SPEAKER_01:Smoking a cigar. Um but I revisualize the things that can go bad.
SPEAKER_07:Ooh, why would you want to do that?
SPEAKER_01:Because it can happen, right? So, like, oh, I'm gonna maybe I'm tired or I'm getting uh lactic acid in my legs early. So revisualization is how are you going to get over that? Get over that.
SPEAKER_06:Ah got it.
SPEAKER_01:It's it's it's it's it's actually putting you in the process of the doing. So you can resolve so you can resolve that problem and move forward so that you can get to the end purpose of your own. I've never heard of that before. I like that. So it's just uh it's just a way of like like uh for you working through the problem. You're gonna open up the business, yeah, right? And then you're like, okay, what are the things that can go bad? This bank's not gonna fund me. So what am I gonna do about that? Well, I'm gonna go to friends and family, yeah. Or I'm gonna go to another bank or something. So it's kind of visualizing of like, I'm not gonna allow this problem and this thing to to stop me. I'm gonna continue forward, and this is another way. And if that doesn't work, then this is another way. And then and then it's just kind of solving the problem throughout the process of you're not getting you're not being stopped.
SPEAKER_07:Makes sense. Yeah. It's crazy. It's things like that are just so powerful. I mean, I I think back even to like how words are powerful or uh speaking as though something's already happened. Like when I opened my very first gym, I remember I never thought I would be able to because I I I had a hard time even telling people I was a trainer at first because I just again I didn't have value in myself back then. But I remember I would say, I want to open a gym. I wish, da da da. And I all I did was change those words to when I do, and all of a sudden things started lining up. Yeah. All of a sudden, you know, clients would say, Hey, by the way, you know, if you need this when you open your gym, you know, I've got A, B, and C. And all of a sudden things started lining up because I was speaking as though it was already happening.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:I think that I mean it's just the power of thoughts and words are magical.
SPEAKER_01:I tell that to everybody. I I'll have a client like, well, I want to. You what? I want to. No, no, you don't. When I do. Yeah, or when I do. I need to. I always say I need to. Yeah. Like for me, it's like, oh, uh, I want to do a marathon. No, you need to do a marathon.
SPEAKER_07:Have you ever done a marathon?
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah. I'm an ultra runner.
SPEAKER_07:Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So I've done 100 mile races.
SPEAKER_07:Oh.
SPEAKER_01:Iron Man's Iron Man's.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, oh, I know.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_07:It's on my bucket list.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. I've done a I've done biking 35 miles on a so-and-so bike, you're good.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You're good.
SPEAKER_07:I got a little PTSD for that though.
SPEAKER_01:There you go. Oh, yeah. So I've done um, I've done like But if you visualize your son's 112 miles, I'll be there in 10.10 seconds.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01:And then all after that, he's not there, so you gotta run 26.2 miles. You're fine. It's all visualization. Yeah. I mean, that's what I used to say to myself. If I don't get this done, I'm gonna die. Yeah, you know, crazy words like that. Obviously, I'm not gonna die, but you say things like that. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_07:You know, I've ran um over 20 marathons and I've done similar. Yeah. I've done some ultras. Just just one. I did one in Red Rock and uh a couple Ragnar cases.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, Ragnar. I've been wanting to do I've never done Ragnar.
SPEAKER_07:It's fun.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's team Ragnar, right? Like six people or whatever it is.
SPEAKER_07:Um you can do I've done both. You can do it as 12 people for the regular or an ultra, which is six people. Six people, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You get real close. I I am. I I actually it's funny because I have this tattooed on me. It's a Converse shoe because that's what the state issues in uh California state prisons. So I ran my first marathon in Converse.
SPEAKER_06:Wow.
SPEAKER_07:I did because I knew nothing about running and my toes were bleeding and it was terrible. And then I started to learn. So I thought, you know what, I'm gonna do it again, but I'm gonna learn, you know, more about how to do this better.
SPEAKER_01:And then you've done the LA marathon?
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, yeah, I've done the uh LA like four times. The Dodger to the C um I did the first year that I did it. Remember that year they had like the tsunami?
SPEAKER_01:Oh yeah, really?
SPEAKER_07:I've done okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:That was like 2011?
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, that was my first, that was my first marathon.
SPEAKER_01:That was the first year went first. That was the first time I went from Dodger Stadium to the C. Okay. The other one was the old course.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, okay. Okay, so that was crazy, huh? It was insane.
SPEAKER_01:Cold as hell.
SPEAKER_07:No, it's my uh they didn't bring my phone. Remember, I told you I got a new phone.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, you did? Yeah. Okay. We're on hold. We're here. I guess we're just gonna. They got the phone.
SPEAKER_03:Thank you.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, I got my phone.
SPEAKER_07:Now I'm really gonna bring your phone.
SPEAKER_01:What are you gonna do with the other phone then?
SPEAKER_07:They're letting me keep it, so I'm just gonna let my son have it to talk to his dad.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_07:Because he FaceTimes his dad every day.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. So yeah. All right, I'm back. We're back. You're liking this too much.
SPEAKER_07:I know. I'm not I'm not gonna let you leave. We're gonna stay on these all day.
SPEAKER_01:Oh shit. All right, this is good. I don't know if people want to hear, but who cares?
SPEAKER_08:Hey, it's all good. They can turn us off if if they're tired of us.
SPEAKER_01:Um, what kind of phone? Did you get the 17?
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, I got the 17. Should I open it?
SPEAKER_01:No. Make my phone. You can tell I'm excited. You know why? Your phone is gonna blame this on you.
SPEAKER_07:Does that thing flip open too? Does it?
SPEAKER_01:Oh wow, she's lagging. She's got some uh no, it doesn't, but I wish it did.
SPEAKER_07:Does it have a can you put your thumbprint on it?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's the way I see.
SPEAKER_08:It doesn't have face recognition.
SPEAKER_01:No, of course not. No, no, this is look, it's one camera. One camera.
SPEAKER_08:Oh honey.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, this is cool. This is so cool.
SPEAKER_08:You should you should keep that.
SPEAKER_01:Uh you know what? I yes.
SPEAKER_08:What is that, like the iPhone 10?
SPEAKER_01:No, below that.
SPEAKER_08:What is it?
SPEAKER_01:It's it's called the S E.
SPEAKER_08:It doesn't even have a number.
SPEAKER_01:No, it's the OG. I'm telling you, this is so cool. But because of your fault, your iPhone 17 and everybody getting it, they put a glitch on my phone. All of a sudden, when a new phone comes out, they start put, I'm telling you, it's like corruption of like.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, I bel I believe it.
SPEAKER_01:They're like, oh yeah, we don't need this, and they must do something of the software. And now I'm like, when I try to text people, it like glitches up, and then I'm like have to resend it and revisit it and erase it.
SPEAKER_07:Does it make that sound like when it goes online, like people don't know what you're talking about?
SPEAKER_08:Oh, I'm sorry, for the youngsters, right?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, only 40 years old.
SPEAKER_08:The World Wide Web is opening, it's downloading.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, no, but it should. That'd be cool. I'd like it. I'd actually like to hear that. That would be cool.
SPEAKER_08:If you could set that as your ringer, that'd be cool.
SPEAKER_01:People would be like, what the fuck is that? Like, that's what we used to get on the web with. Oh man. Yeah. Actually, I have to get a new one because it's acting up. So yeah.
SPEAKER_08:Um, you want an iPhone 14?
SPEAKER_01:That's what I'm saying. I got one right here. You know? It's too big. Let me see. Let me see that one.
SPEAKER_08:Look at how let's compare ourselves. Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Who's the how does this giant one?
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, it's the Pro Max.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, come on. Like, how do I go run with this?
SPEAKER_07:You can't. No.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I have like a what is it, chest protector?
SPEAKER_07:You look like Iron Man.
SPEAKER_01:Come on, let's go. Sideways. Like, it doesn't fit in my arm.
SPEAKER_08:Like, this is why I love it because I have a belt and I put it on like in my belt. Like it's like a fanny pack. You don't run with a fanny pack?
SPEAKER_01:No. Come on, man. We're having too much fun here. No, I run with like, well, if I go long distance or I actually anytime I kind of go run, if it's not a quick one, I have a full like hydro vest. Me too. Yeah. And then I put my music out because I like to listen on the trails, and then I put my phone in there. Then I have snacks that I want to carry with.
SPEAKER_07:My water vest doesn't have anything like that. So I have to wear the fanny pack. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So you do.
SPEAKER_07:Well, it's not like a fanny. It's like it it's it's a it's a fanny belt.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:It's like it's just real tight to you. So you can slide things in there.
SPEAKER_01:Like fanny who would.
SPEAKER_07:Why do they call it that?
SPEAKER_01:I don't know. Fanny. Fanny pack.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah. I don't feel like any male should be.
SPEAKER_01:What is a fanny pack? No. Oh, am I gonna get in trouble for the fan? If you had a fanny pack back in the day, people knew that you were a cop. You think so? Yeah, that's where people would carry their guns.
SPEAKER_07:Or that you owned a boat. Because everybody that a boat?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Really? I never know.
SPEAKER_07:I always remember whenever my dad would be out by the lake, he wore a fanny pack.
SPEAKER_01:Let me see. Why do they call fanny it's with an N N Y? Fanny.
SPEAKER_07:I believe so. We're about to learn something right here. Right here with C. It has to be true.
SPEAKER_01:It's Chad GBT. Oh, it has to be true. The term fanny pack comes from American slang, where fanny informally refers to a person's buttocks.
SPEAKER_07:But you don't wear it on your buttocks.
SPEAKER_01:Originally, these small zippered pouches were designed to be worn on the rear.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, so we wear them in the front. So we got front butts? Is that what's up?
SPEAKER_01:What would you call them in the front?
SPEAKER_07:Should we call them fanny packs?
SPEAKER_01:Because they're front butts. Franny, Franny packs. Yeah. You're supposed to have them in the buttons.
SPEAKER_07:Okay, okay. I'm gonna start wearing mine like that.
SPEAKER_01:I never knew that was a word for butt. Fanny? That's that's like a proper word, like a posh word for butt talks. Oh, it's a great fanny. I don't know. I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_08:Look at the fanny on her.
SPEAKER_01:Well, yeah, I'm gonna use it today. Yeah. Make sure that you're squatting well for your fanny. I'm gonna use that. Make sure you're squatting down properly. Yeah, hit the fanny muscle. Hit the fanny muscle. What the hell? Uh in British, let me see. Fanny has a very different and more vulgar meaning, which is why they're usually called bumbags.
SPEAKER_08:Bumbags.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, because I guess fanny in in the British English is uh something vulgar. I don't know what that is.
SPEAKER_07:I'm gonna have to ask about it.
SPEAKER_01:But they call them in British, in British English, it's called the bumbag.
SPEAKER_07:Okay. All right.
SPEAKER_01:Uh the style comes from the older belt patches, whatever, whatever. Told you Chat GBT.
SPEAKER_07:Learned so much. Now I gotta wear my fanny pack on the back.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Can't be broken coffee. Okay.
SPEAKER_07:We can sell them at your shop.
SPEAKER_01:Fanny packs?
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, at your can't be broken coffee shop. Franny packs. Franny packs.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and tell them this is a right way and this is a wrong way.
SPEAKER_07:This is an entrepreneur's life right here.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Do you guys want the fanny pack where you wear in the back or the fanny pack? Or you guys, which one do you want? It can't be broken in the back or can't be broken in the front. I love that. I just can't be broken. Yeah, I just can't be broken.
SPEAKER_08:Um if you wear it in the back, they might take that as a uh I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:You went to prison, not me. No comment. No comment.
SPEAKER_08:I will say they do cut up the hot dogs, just if anybody's wondering.
SPEAKER_01:Oh. I did not know that. They do, they cut them up.
SPEAKER_08:I swear to you.
SPEAKER_01:Only for females or males too? You don't know. Well, you don't know. That I don't know.
SPEAKER_06:I don't know how weird y'all over there on the male side, but this should be a different podcast.
SPEAKER_01:What are we gonna call it? Different episode. Um, I think you're gonna be my last um guest for the year. So that's good.
SPEAKER_05:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. A little break, a little vacation. Maybe one more person. I don't know, or I'll end it. Like I have this episode called Sea Monsters Mindset, where I do like myself and I give advice to people for like 10 minutes. It's like a really quick thing.
SPEAKER_07:Are you gonna give me some advice?
SPEAKER_01:I'm giving you right now.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Um don't ever wear your fanny pack on the front. Exactly. There you go. No, don't ever play a trappy starter without a net. Oh I don't know. I used that one time, it got me in trouble.
SPEAKER_08:Uh-huh. You know, I do actually do silks.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I did see that. Yeah. Yeah, I did see that. That's scary. And I do do it without a net. I know. I mean, did you start that way? Like they trained you that way, but have you fallen?
SPEAKER_07:No.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_07:No, not yet. I yeah, let's knock on what it for sure. Um no, but I've come close.
SPEAKER_01:You've fallen.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, I've come close.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Because you if if you do a wrong move, it can kind of just let you.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, but you you almost like because you're a lot of the moves, like you're so wrapped up in the silks, you're more at risk to get like caught up and get something stuck and maybe pull it the wrong way than you are of actually falling. Unless you're like upside down, like just free hanging. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:How long have you been doing that?
SPEAKER_07:I have fallen like a few times, like, because you know, we do I do like acro yoga um where somebody holds you into positions. Um, I've fallen before on that. I did hurt my neck once. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah. Good. I'm better on the ground too on the ground. Um well, I've had fun.
SPEAKER_07:Me too. It's been a blast.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you for being open.
SPEAKER_07:And I appreciate it's been a while since I've told my full story. And um I just I appreciate it because it's really nice to um even to like just think of how much like life has changed over the last 17 years. And I'm just feeling so grateful right now, you know. I really want to tell people out there too, just um there's been times, you know, every success has its set of problems, you know. Um for instance, like I think when I got out of prison, like I thought just everything was gonna go real smooth after that. Cause once you've been through that, like everything's gonna be easy, right? But it's not. It's you know, when I opened my first gym, there was its set of problems. When I um opened my children's business, there was that set of problems. And then even as that got more successful, there was the set of problems of I need more employees, I need more um, you know, money to cover payroll, I need more like, you know, more of this, more of that. There's always a set of problems. But the thing is that you gotta look back and remember that there was a point in your life you were praying to God that these would be the type of problems that you'd have, you know. And being here with you today makes me just remember the things that I was wishing for when I was, you know, behind bars and when I was in a whole different mental space. And um, you know, I'm so grateful to be where I am today and to be able to sit with someone like you and tell my story and come out on the other side. And I want other people to know that no matter where they think, you know, if you think I've done too much wrong, no matter how old you are, no matter, you know, it doesn't have to be a Monday you start over, it doesn't have to be January 1st. Like you can choose right now, this second, that you're done and you're ready for something different.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:You know, and you can have it, you can do it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Um, you just have to, like what you said earlier really hit me. Um, you have to say you need to. Um, I've realized that because as life's stresses have got to me, I thought about this the other day. I thought, I'm always stressed about am I gonna get this finished, that finished in time? There has never been a time I didn't complete a task that needed to be done. But for some reason in my mind, I'm always stressed about whether I'm not gonna get it done or not. I always do. Why am I worried about it? You know, but like you said, if you look at the things with the mentality that they need to be done, you'll get them done.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Just set those priorities, you know, and you got this.
SPEAKER_01:What great advice and um truth um and vulnerability and telling your story and uh example you are for so many people. And um this is one of the the I've had very, very I've had a lot of people, I've been doing this now, I think three, four years, four years, I think I'm going on. And your story of overcoming that that hardship at a young age um is amazing.
SPEAKER_03:Thank you.
SPEAKER_01:Um and how where you're at now, what you're doing, and telling your story and not being ashamed of it anymore. Um obviously I'm sure there's a little bit of you like fuck, you know, I gotta I gotta tell this, and I don't know how that person might react. Yeah, but doesn't doesn't make you, doesn't shape you, doesn't do anything, you know. Um I gotta read this quote to you that I really love because what you just said, uh it's this guy follow. He's a he's a strength and conditioning coach for a football team. And um he's he's got a book called 365 Fire Lighters. Fire lighters, okay. Yeah, um and it's really good. Um but uh let me see if it comes.
SPEAKER_06:What's the book about?
SPEAKER_01:So it's 365 um messages of like so it's literally one page and um he talks about like a story and gives you uh the quote of the day and like something, and then the next day is another something else. Um 365 fire lighters. Which one? Hold on really quick, specific quote.
SPEAKER_07:It sounds like a good way to start your day off. I try so hard to to wake up and do something, like you know, not just make it automatic. I think it's important not to just get out of bed, get on your phone, check your messages, like first get out of bed, do something like positive for yourself, you know, whether it's read your Bible for a little bit or read a a little motivational thing, um, take a couple minutes just to start your day off with the right perspective. So this sounds like a good one.
SPEAKER_01:It's a great one. I I actually um gift it to some people a lot. Um here it is. Let's see if it is. Um lazy people do a little work and think they should be winning. Winners work as hard as possible and still worry if they're being lazy. Ooh. Wow, that's a good one. That's a good one. That is a good one. Lazy people do a little work, and I think you and I and people that are go-getters and trying to um continue to live life and give back and you know be the best version of themselves, always go, Did I do enough? Always. Did I do enough? Always. You know, winners work as hard as possible and still worry if they're being lazy. That is, that is Did I did I do enough? Did I get there? You know, could I have done one more rep? Just in the simplest term, did I study enough for this test?
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, that one really hits home.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that one really hits home. He's a really, really cool cat, and he's just a normal I mean, he follows me back. And I'm like, oh hey, thank you for following me. Sometimes I'll quote his stuff and the hey bro had got you, and he's like, hey man, thank you very much. I'm like, I don't know you. I don't know this guy, he doesn't know me. So he's obviously really. He sounds like he's legit, though. And I don't know how many followers he has, but he's got a book out, it's amazing.
SPEAKER_07:Okay, I'm gonna have to check that out.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, not as good as the uh little black book of fitness or chapter two.
SPEAKER_07:Are you gonna sign it for me?
SPEAKER_01:Sign it. Yeah, sure. All right.
SPEAKER_07:You gave me a book. I want you to sign it. You know what? Hey, that might be worth some money.
SPEAKER_01:You never know. Never know. Um, but thank you very much. I appreciate you. Thank you so much for approving allowing me to have you on your. Your home and interview you and tell your story. That's an amazing story. I uh you're gonna help out a lot of people. Um and thank you very much for for everything. But I I commend you on continuing your fight to move forward, to give back to young kids.
SPEAKER_07:Keep going.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:It's a it's a fight, it's still a fight all the time. But I'm um I am so determined to grow and to bring more of this awareness to more kids. Um I don't plan on giving up anytime soon.
SPEAKER_01:That's awesome. Yeah, I know you I know you won't. I won't. But I'm here to help out in any way that uh that I can as well. Um but thank you very much. And uh just remember everybody listening. And uh, you know, first of all, uh follow back, uh give feedback um and whatnot. But if you're going through some hard times, if um you think that you can't go on anymore or whatnot, just remember you can't be broken.
