Can't Be Broken
Can't Be Broken
Exploring Wellness and Identity: Harnessing Emotional Intelligence and Purpose with EA Essence
Join us for a thought-provoking conversation with the insightful EA Essence, who's been a cherished voice on our show for almost three years now. This episode starts with an intriguing look at high cholesterol, a common issue often tackled with medication in the U.S. medical system. With the help of human biologist Gary Brekka, we explore the potential of natural remedies such as fasting, mineral intake, and hydration, offering a fresh perspective that questions traditional medical approaches and encourages listeners to consider lifestyle changes as a path to wellness.
Our discussion takes a deeper turn as we unpack the impact of social media and influencers on personal growth, especially in dealing with addiction and depression. We dive into the delicate balance between harnessing social media for positive learning and the risk of mindless scrolling. The conversation reflects on the importance of community, purpose, and coping tools in navigating emotional storms. By sharing strategies to develop emotional intelligence and self-awareness, we inspire listeners to pursue personal fulfillment beyond societal achievements.
Lastly, the episode delves into the complex interplay between identity, addiction, and the pursuit of purpose, drawing insights from Dr. Gabor Mate. We explore how childhood experiences shape our search for love and comfort, and the role of emotional intelligence in understanding oneself. Through personal anecdotes and expert insights, we highlight the importance of self-awareness in building confidence and seeking personal growth. From the pressures faced by young athletes to the balance between soul and ego, this episode offers a rich tapestry of ideas to guide listeners toward a more authentic and meaningful life.
I'm your host sea monster, and today I have a special guest. He's back again for a third or fourth, or I don't know, in a while, but I've been doing this journey now almost going on three years, which is amazing. Thinking about it, I think it's two and a half years started the journey with this young man here who's, uh, getting a little bit more grayish, still young at heart. Uh, my boy, my friend, ea, essence in the house. What's up? What's up? What's up?
Speaker 1:always bringing the fire over here, I always love having on here because you, you know, you, you're methodical and you're thinking, you're, you're wow, yeah, yeah, you're no, but you are like I I've heard it from different people listen to the podcast and they say you know that, uh, you speak very well and, uh, you're, you have good intention with your speaking, you're methodical, you, you're your.
Speaker 2:Uh, I didn't say man, I'm going to shatter all that, all those, all those. I'm probably going to shatter it today and I'm humbled, yeah, and I'm not. So don't say that.
Speaker 1:We don't see no negative self talk around here. No, it's not negative. No, I, how can I say? Just, I don't know, I just say what I want no two snowflakes are like my brother.
Speaker 1:That's right and they're not. No, I don't know. We should try it one time. Just check it out and see if they are. You hold one, I hold one. Take the lead on that. Look into that for me. How are you, man? I'm doing good, brother. Today on the Braves Baseball Academy, I train many other players, so I'll be there doing a podcast live 1.30, which should be pretty cool. I got you here today for as long as I have you. Thank you very much for coming on here. Thank you for having me, man.
Speaker 1:We're going to talk a little bit about some important issues, actually Like two things that people deal with that are super hard, and we're going to have great dialogue, we're going to discuss it. In many ways, we might miss something, we might not, and that's the greatness of having this forum of podcasts so that hopefully, with both of our experiences and thoughts and research and going through it ourselves, probably in different forms, can bring something to the table that people can take away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just my simple man's take on it. Yeah, that's how I would define it, so you know that's it.
Speaker 1:That's it, and we're drinking coffee. We're good to go. Yeah, I'm wired, I'm ready. You fasted and got some I don't know blood work there's some blood work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my cholesterol's a little high personal level tmi but hey, working on it yeah you know, it's genetics, I think yeah, I mean yeah there's a lot of factors that go involved.
Speaker 1:It is what it is, but there's a lot of different ways to try to save it without prescription. I don't know what the doctor told you. I'm against, like to be honest, I'm against the doctors and all that stuff. I'm more into I listen to gary brekka. You know gary brekka's, I do not. Okay, I'll send you his info, like me and ig and all that.
Speaker 1:And he talks about like just how, uh, I I would say the united states, yeah, here we go.
Speaker 1:We're talking into a topic right now, but the united states and medical is is to treat you with pharmaceutical pills and whatnot.
Speaker 1:And he's a human biologist who learns from actual, not experiments but research on people and things that work and what we should be taking and things that we should be taking every day, like Baja sea salt, which is just salt in the morning that gives you 72 minerals. He talks about hydrogen water. He's talking about different things that we should be taking every day Fasting, how good it is for you at certain times, yes, and hydration and sugar levels and what we shouldn't be eating. And so you know, you go to a doctor and they just say you have high cholesterol, like you said right now, and they say, hey, here, start taking these pills, they'll lower your cholesterol and instead of like giving you a healthy treat of like, hey, you should start eating better, they might give you a paper and say you should eat better. But there's other ways and I think it's just more conventional. We're moving towards that fact and hopefully the medical industry is also. You know moving towards that.
Speaker 1:Yes, sir, you know that's a good thing about, uh, some of this social media stuff and influencers and people out there. They're able to to be out there and we're able to learn from them and adapt rather than always going to see I don't know I would agree with that.
Speaker 2:I think social media, when used intentionally and purposefully, can be a great place to get information. Yeah, um, it's helped me out on my journey. Yeah, particularly as it relates to, you know, inner work, um, and stuff like that. It's it's been just a tremendous resource for me, and so. But that's a very narrow line, right, because we can get easily addicted to the, the endless scrolling, the mindless scrolling. So that's a delicate balance and that's where I go. I drop that addicting word. There we go, transition right into the rapper harry mack you know, harry mack is harry mack, damn man yeah harry styles no, yeah, harry styles.
Speaker 1:Harry mack is a white guy who, uh, raps, but he raps on the spot right there and he asked for, like people, to give him different words and then like if you give him a word of addiction. He'll drop it in his rap and right yeah, right now you just, you just kind of did that, I don't, but I don't listen to whack rappers, but you don't listen to m&s debatable. He's the greatest of all time. That's a. That's another conversation.
Speaker 2:We had this conversation with my buddies the other day.
Speaker 1:It's all good m&m bro, come on um hit and miss with me. How about the vanilla, vanilla, ice? You know? Come on, stop it.
Speaker 2:We're going backwards real quick.
Speaker 1:We're going back. Hey, don't move forward, you got to move backwards. Sometimes you know, um, uh, that's right, addiction. That's where we're here to talk about a little bit of addiction, depression, things that's going out there um day. You have to sit by yourself in your own thoughts every day. You can't get away from it, you can't run from it, and I'm talking about depression right now. In regards to that, your mind is your most powerful and your hardest thing to deal with as well at times. And how do we deal with that? Right, I know we were probably going to talk and start about, start on addiction, but I think we'll just lead right into depression. But let's first define it and then we'll start talking about it and we'll move from there.
Speaker 1:Depression is feelings of severe despondency and dejection. Similar words are melancholy, misery, sadness, unhappiness, sorrow, and you know, I guess the question to you, or like to start off this conversation, would be we all deal with depression in different forms, but what do you think? I mean, we defined it, but to you, what do you? How do you, would you define depression?
Speaker 2:So depression, or you know, I would. I would put it in context like this you know you have in life, you have your highs and your lows, that that come, that's part of life, right, and I think when, as humans, we experience that low, many of us are going through that storm in life, don't have the tools, we haven't yet learned the tools to navigate through those storms. And along with that, there is a lack of. I think a person has a lack of purpose, a lack of community and meaning in their life. So when you put those two things together, we feel like it's the end of the world, like we feel alone, like we feel no connection to others and that we don't belong in any type of of environment or milieu.
Speaker 2:And um, but once we can develop the tools to know that you're going to have highs and lows in life, the yin and the yang.
Speaker 2:There's always contrast in the world, right, happiness, sadness.
Speaker 2:Once we, we can understand that, and once we can develop some tools, um, sadness, once we, we can understand that, and once we can develop some tools to become more purposeful, intentional, to get out there, to get some sunshine, to meditate, to pray, whatever it is physical activity, they're fleeting, yeah, and then we can navigate into a healthier type of mindset.
Speaker 2:Um, but I think you know, I think the common thread and all that is is having a purpose in life. You know what I mean, and so I think that's what happens a lot of times is we feel like we don't have a purpose or a meaning, and it's easy to, it's easy to convince ourselves through negative self-talk. You know that the way I'm feeling is really how I am, but we know nothing good can come from that mindset, that negative vibrational mindset. Right, it's nothing good can come from that. And so if we can get out of of, if we can get out of of, if we can get into the understanding that as, as as far as I see it, honoring those feelings, giving ourselves grace in those, in those moments, but never making a decision based from those, those emotions, I think that's a healthier approach in my opinion. It's worked for me.
Speaker 1:Now, you impact a lot there. I mean, that was really good, that was you. You threw out a lot, and I can go with this in different forms, and I am uh. The first thing you said is tools and developing tools to cope with depression, and, and that's super, super impactful, and you're 100% correct.
Speaker 1:The way I see it, though, is, you know, one of the tools would be experience, right, I mean, I would agree that, that. I mean, I would say that one of the tools is you go through a hardship, a loss of something, financially, you personally, physically, something's going on, whatever it might be that we all deal with depression in so many different ways, and it comes in so many different ways. Experience is a tool, right, so you have to kind of go through it in order to learn from it and move forward, but if we're developing that tool experience as one of the tools, that would come later in life, that would come, you know, in your 40s or 50s, because experience only comes only based on time, really, and in the amount of things that you've gone through, so you can experience more by being in hardship positions. Let's just talk about another third world country, wherever that might be no water, right, no parents, maybe. Maybe one parent you know parents died in a bomb.
Speaker 1:Who knows right, whatever it is, and your hardship is so much more and you're growing up quicker at a younger age somewhere else, rather than your hardship here is like, oh my God, I couldn't go out on Friday to the party I wanted to go to. That's to you is like freaking hateful. You know you're depressed because you can't make that party. Compared to a person in the world who's dealing with not even thinking about going out, thinking about where's my next meal coming from, right, and so the experience is different, based on environmental or where you live at, demographics and all these different things. But in saying that, what are some of the other tools? I know experience is one and it could differ based on situations. But how do we get to develop the tools and other tools at a younger age so that we don't have to learn them later in life, and where are the resources for that? What do you think you know?
Speaker 2:that's you know.
Speaker 1:I mean, you think school should be teaching that more. You know what I'm saying. Like, like, if we're dealing with depression and mental health, right, that's an issue do you think there should be a class about how to deal with that like, rather than a history class of learning about george washington? I?
Speaker 2:I think if you really, if we really rewind it, you have to look at we have to start in our childhood, yeah, and how we're parented, and so you know, I was listening to a incredible podcast with um, the dr gabor mate who was talking about this, and he was talking about addiction and depression and everything comes back to how we are raised, right, any childhood trauma that we've experienced that hasn't been resolved, right, the trauma is not what happened to us, but it's any unhealed aftermath of that, right? So if you hit your head, that's not the trauma, the concussion is the trauma, right? So if that goes unresolved, like you're going to have issues, um, moving forward into your adult life with you know, cte or whatever the case may be, right, you know. So the same applies with their emotional states and, um, you know, in attachment, our ability to, basically our ability to be loved, you know an attachment, our ability, basically our ability to be loved. You know, if, if we don't, if we don't have the ability to, if we're not loved at an early age, if we're not given the emotional, healthy, emotional attachments, then that is essentially the blueprint for addiction, or addiction.
Speaker 2:Really, because Dr Gabor Mate talks about this, he uses the example of and I'm kind of going off on a tangent here because I'm talking about addiction as well. Yeah, it's all good. He used the example of heroin addicts and they asked them you know what their experience, that first time when they used, what that felt like and essentially you know the the consensus was it feels like a warm hug. That first feeling of, of pleasure and comfort and safety was that first experience with that heroin hit and it felt like love and a lot of addicts from the drunk or any, any or any type of behavior that's addictive, that is essentially negative and we can't stop um is a longing for that love that we didn't have at an early age, yeah, and so, um, I think, if you take that and and then you take a person's lack of purpose in life, like socially yeah, you know what I mean and then, like, if you're a writer and you use your, let's just say, or a singer, let's say you're a singer and you lose your ability to sing Right and you've lost your purpose, you've lost your purpose Right singer, and you lose your ability to sing right and you've lost your purpose, you lost your purpose right now.
Speaker 2:If you don't have the skills to navigate that, that that storm, right you're, you're in trouble, yeah right, but I think it all ties into that. Having is having a purpose.
Speaker 1:So there's kind of two layers to that, yeah, I was going to say because we're, look, we're going to talk about depression and addiction today and they're interchangeably like it's it's mental health and it's health and whatnot, and we're just going to like we're going to not really go like hey, we're talking about this and we're talking about that, but we're really talking about is is many different things, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I think you can still be in like a depressive state or down and out, but you can understand that you're like if you've been, if you've done enough work on yourself, where you're fully aware of your emotional state.
Speaker 2:And that's the key to all this. I know we've talked, yeah, it all starts with awareness, right, because you have to, you have to understand, like, why you're feeling what you're feeling. The question is always why, and that takes some really like you have to be attuned with with that and that comes with doing the work, right, right, and so once you can get to that why and be aware of those thoughts, then then you can better navigate and navigate and appreciate those storms, because you know eventually there's going to be a high, it's going to make you a less reactive person, yeah, a less impulsive person, a more grounded person, and then you can really get to the core of like who you are, as a, as an entity, as a soul, right, like you can really get to honoring your authenticity because you honor the human element of you, of the highs and lows, depression, ecstasy and those types of things.
Speaker 1:The the one thing I know you said was you know of things. The one thing I know you said was you know it starts at a young age and love and coping and understanding and parenting and all that. But how about the kiddos that didn't have parents? You know, like we're talking about third world countries right here in LA, right, that don't have parents, right, don't have the parenting. Some of them grew up to be some of the most influential and some of the most successful people.
Speaker 1:If we're looking at Tony Robbins, I mean we can name several different people that say, hey, my dad wasn't around. Hey, so-and-so wasn't around, right, and they didn't learn right, they didn't at that young age. Nobody who's teaching them right? Are the streets teaching them or whatnot? I think my thing when I was leaving off earlier was should we in schools obviously like have a class for something like that? Because some people grow up, I mean, at 18, my parents got divorced. Yeah, okay, my senior year, and it crushed me, right, and but I had the skills already right To kind of cope with it, but it was still hard, like I was like my dad. Well, did you know?
Speaker 1:I mean at the beginning no, I did it Right and and, uh, I was mad at my dad, pissed off at my dad, like, is this happening to this, you know?
Speaker 2:and I want you to continue, but I'm going to interject. We know that anger is actually hurt. Yeah, right, that's so. You're actually hurt. I was hurt, yeah, right, and, but it manifests as anger. That's a defense mechanism, correct, to protect myself. That little boy that you know because you act in the truth, is young man, stop me. Young man, young man, stop me, stop me if I speak out of, out of line here. No, no, like, understandably, like you didn't know how to navigate that, other than showing your anger Correct Right, initially. Yeah, yeah, initially, yeah, initially.
Speaker 2:Which is experience, correct, right, those guys you mentioned, the Tony Robbins, those people have fallen many times and they've experienced those storms significantly in their lives and it's through that experience that you mentioned earlier. It's that's the best teacher, because those are opportunities to grow, those are opportunities to say what is the lesson in this storm that I'm experiencing? How am I showing up? What did I have control over? What do I have control over and how can I avoid this from happening again? Yeah, and and that's that's the thing, bro, it's like, do, do? I feel that it should be taught in school. Emotional intelligence, absolutely, but that's, that's a difficult thing If you have the teacher, that themselves. He or she has not been through that process of doing the inner work on themselves. They have to be qualified.
Speaker 1:It does take a village, correct it does take a village, right.
Speaker 2:It's just not the parents or the caregiver, right, because even if you don't have parents, did you have a caregiver that did show you healthy attachment styles? Yeah, you know, did. Or, as a child, were you continuously in a survival state where you can never show up vulnerably and authentically because you had to do things that that built out that egotistical wall up in your life to protect you? Yeah, and you have to honor that as well, because it got you to the point where you're at today. But also there was lessons in that, in that journey. It's just like in anything.
Speaker 2:When you play ball, the, the, the speed of the game from baseball from high school to college was much faster in college. Yeah, right, that first year in college, right, that first year in college you're like, I'm sure you're like, wow, this is a really fast game. But the more you play yeah, you were talented. So the more you played the game slow down a little bit, for sure, for sure. And that's life too the more you experience some difficult situations, life. You're able to ask those questions, the, be introspective and to say, ok, how do I navigate this? What can help me? You can tap into your tool belt. And they say you know, I'm a big follower a gentleman named brandon collinsworth, oh yeah you know the funny thing, and not to interject.
Speaker 1:I know you're gonna say, but you always bring up some names they can never spell or or remember. It can't be like dave walker, yeah yeah, you know what? I'm saying, like you know, fernando valenzuela, you know? No, you know what I'm saying, but you're like dr jabe drabovowski or something, and I'm like, I'm like trying to write it down, I'm like I won't remember that you know what, if you saw, if you heard him song, you'd be like, oh, I know that guy, I know that guy like, the doctors always have some weird names too and they can't write.
Speaker 1:And you're like what, who is that like? You can really make up signatures on doctors yeah right and yeah a prescription that's me, give me ozopic, but I'm just kidding, but brandon collinsworth says that's an easy one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, brandon collinsworth, he says that you know you're healing when you're going through a difficult time, but you're able to tap into your, your tools, opposed to tapping into the vices and addictions that you used to use, and that's how you know you're healing Right, and that's what I mean by this, because experience is ultimate.
Speaker 1:Going through it is what's going to teach you the lesson pretty much. But if you're learning, if you're- like learning.
Speaker 1:That's where I was going to go. That's where I was going to go and that's why I say let's just take Tony Robbins again. Okay, he was going through something at home. Right, take Tony Robbins again. Okay, he was going through something at home.
Speaker 1:Right, there was a parent that was abusive, alcohol separation, all these different things going on. Where did he get the tools? Where did he learn the experience? Was there that moment, those moments? Right, I guarantee you, a person he probably didn't know, a show, he saw, somebody at school, a friend somewhere or another along his group or people said something to him that said you're right.
Speaker 1:And then he moved forward from there and then you know, whatever he did to continue to like I don't want to be like this, I'm going to do this, right. And then you have his brother, who went the opposite way. All he knew was this hey, this is what I know. I'm going to continue to do the same thing. I'm going to be like my dad. I honor him, I love him and I'm just going to drink like him and be abusive. That's all I know. And my whole thing is like we should, if they're qualified and they have the experience and whatnot, to to teach a young person the tools, because eventually, life is about going through those, those depressions, the ups and downs, right, so you have the tools already. You've already have these, this class, this course, this thing that you've taken and now, boom, something happens. You're able to go. I know what that is, you're aware and this is the way I'm going to handle it, because I learned this. Now you don't have that class. You're like like, you know, you have to try to figure it out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, the figuring it out right is part of the paint. Well, the pain of staying where you're at, the pain of staying where you're at, has to be more than the pain of change. You have to be at a point where you're sick and tired of being sick and tired. You have to be at your rock bottom. Only you know what that rock bottom is and that's where the awareness comes in. You have to tell yourself I need to do something different in my life. If you want different, you need to do different. It starts with that, because I can tell you, when I was at my rock bottom, I was looking for anything to pull me out of that hole that I was in and I it was like this insatiable desire to learn about myself and and answer the questions of how the F did I end up here? What is it within myself that caused me to attract certain energy and to behave in certain ways and to do things that were out of pocket or to do things that took me out of alignment and purpose of being a purposeful man? And it always, for me, came back to my childhood and whether it was and you know, I had I feel we've talked about this before.
Speaker 2:I had a great childhood, but it wasn't a perfect one from the standpoint of. There was addiction, um, uh, you know, and there was other types of uh things that were not healthy, that I won't speak speak on because because I won't, cause I'm not ready for that at this point, but, um, those things really impacted my emotional development in it, like many young men, especially young Brown men. Um, it pushed me into very egotistical, um, representation of what I thought it meant to be a man. So then that's as I got older, that doesn't change if you don't work on yourself. So basically, you're just an adult, baby or adult 15 year old If you don't resolve that trauma. Right, it's not what happened to us, it's how we have we healed it.
Speaker 2:So, and this is like what I'm big on and what I see in in in sports and you do with a lot of young athletes is within regards to the boys is we lack emotional intelligence. Fathers were not teaching our kids emotional intelligence, how to regulate ourselves, how to control our emotions, not to be impulsive. Right, you have a great platform in UAG Fit where you're working with young teenagers and kids to teach them about mental fortitude, grit, emotional intelligence, be passionate, but don't let it drive the car. You know what I mean Be a critical thinker, analyze. That's what I try to impress upon my kids. I try, I'm a work in progress myself and we fail, fail, sometimes.
Speaker 2:That's the humanistic side of it and so you know, if you show me an individual that appears to be like man, that person, they understand the journey, they understand the work. They've gone through some dark, dark periods. Yeah, that's the only way you get to that point, that experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think there's, and you're 100% correct and you know, try to offer some tools and guidance of things that I went through, specifically being a student athlete, which is super hard at a high level, and understanding their emotional intelligence in regards to so many factors, from being resilient, having grit, hard work, right, but that comes with the time and I'll explain it better. My coach at CSUN said when you're on the field, you're a dog. You're gritty, you're here, you're present and you're going to win. You're a winner. When you're off the field, you're a pussy Cat. Hey, when you're off the field, you're present and you're going to win, you're a winner. When you're off the field, you're a pussy. When you're off the field, you're the nicest person. You represent yourself, your team and the university and you help somebody cross the street, somebody carry their groceries. You be the nicest person you can be. You represent yourself first, the team and the university. When you're on the field, the other people and teams. We're playing, we're gritty, we're winning, we're doing everything it takes.
Speaker 1:You have a dog mindset and I always like that because there's a place for everything. Right, if I'm running a hundred miles and I think, oh well, plan B is going to be. If I only get 90, right, I only get 90 miles, I'll be happy with that. Then there's content on something that you have a goal, that you have something that you're going to accomplish. To me, it's always been I'm doing 100 or I'll be in the hospital going what the hell happened? Did I do 100? No, get me back out there. I got to complete. That's how I know. Mental fortitude for me is completing the task at hand, right.
Speaker 1:But then you get out of there and if you have that same mentality of I'll die for this, that ego, you can't live life like that. You have to be able to turn it on, turn it off, be able to to compartmentalize Ooh, a big word for me here. Like you would say I know what you're gonna compartmentalize. There you go compartmentalize, uh, you know, put in a compartment, right. It's like, yeah, like with your kids and your family and all that stuff. You bring out a certain side of you, a parenting style, with your wife, with this, with that, with your work and everything that you do. There's different compartments that you reach into and bring out different tools, right, and so that's to me I think that's super important, because you can't be a certain way, all the time, no, but once, I think once, once you do the work on yourself, you understand that the ego is a necessary part of living 100, you know, yeah.
Speaker 2:And so a question I have for you, though yes, sir, this goes back into like who, like this will tie into depression. I think the question I have for you is what happens? What happened if, hypothetically speaking, you did not become a baseball player? Let's say, after high school, see someone's on an option, you couldn't play ball anymore. Yeah, right, like, well, well then, what then? What then? Who then? Who is caesar martinez? Yeah, who is c monster?
Speaker 2:That's the question I, yeah, I have because and before you answer, if I may, that the connection I want to try to make is is in talking about ego and talking about purpose, right, is that's what we, I feel we, should be teaching young people. Is you are not what you do, correct, right? Yep, um, and sometimes the decisions and the decisions we make are not who you are. Sometimes we make poor decisions, right, but really getting people to understand who you are, like on a, on a deeper level, the inner work, right, what is the authenticity, authenticity within you? Right, if I remove this aspect from your life, yeah, then, who are you Right and that's what that's.
Speaker 2:What's happened with a lot of men, with myself, was we, we live our lives tied into accomplishments in life, whether we graduated from certain schools, professional accomplishments, whatever it may be, athletic, you know, career, and then when those things, if we remove those things, then then it's like who are you then? That's why I think a lot of men we struggle with that a lot of people, a lot of people, people, but a lot of men call that the midlife crisis.
Speaker 2:yeah, you know, and I I refer, you know, for me it was really an awakening. It was awakening and and it was a breakdown of all everything around me, from how I was raised, religion, um, how I saw things, even what, like even my line of work, why I got into the line, my line of work, why I got into the line, my line of work. And as I started to do that, I started to really even question, like I'm not really into this line of work. Yeah, and it changed. It's like there is no ceiling on the things I want to accomplish in my life and so, like, who is going back to you?
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I mean I'll answer the question really quick and simple. Actually, to me it's pretty simple because I've dealt with it in asking that question to myself and then I'll go back to answering Notre Dame, the original question. But who am I who gets up, tries to learn, who loves dialogue and interchangeably to continue to learn and grow, and who loves to give back to any human being the love, the experience, the emotional, mental, physical education to people of what I've been through, gone through and be an example for that, for my kids, family and people. That's who I am.
Speaker 1:Baseball, being a cop, being a strength and conditioning coach now doesn't make me I could be a mailman, I could be anything, and it's not who I am. I was never. Oh, notre Dame, baseball took it away from me. You know what You're. 100%, we talked about it earlier. I'd find a different purpose because the purpose wasn't baseball. The purpose to me has never been to be a cop, to be a strength and conditioning coach. The purpose has never been a singular external activity or anything like that. The purpose has always been to be the best human being I can be in so many different ways, and that comes with a package right, we can unfold to be this to be you to be vulnerable to be all that, but to be the best right.
Speaker 1:My dad instilled that in me and I still take it to this day and I still tell the story to my daughters and to you and whoever I meet I said look, if you take out the trash, do the best job. Just take it out and do the right job, do the right thing right now, because it's so easy to do the wrong thing and it's so hard to do the right thing, so hard to do the right thing. And if you just live your life simply like that, that is a purpose. You know a lot of the what I heard.
Speaker 1:I heard a podcast one time and this guy said the reason people commit suicide, one of the reasons. I'm sure there's so many, several reasons, but he says and he used an example of a veteran coming back from war and whatnot the reason this guy was committing, committed suicide or was going to commit suicide was in the army or in the Marines, whatever he had a purpose, there was a purpose. Here's the mission, here's my boys, we're doing this community, right, community. And he'd go. And then there was another mission and there was another purpose and his boys was I'm keeping you safe, you're you safe, you're keeping me safe.
Speaker 1:And then once that's gone right, once he comes back to the United States, and then he's like now, what, what do I do? Right, yeah, and he feels depressed. There's a lot of things, emotions going through, and he has to find another purpose, something else, another community. And a lot of them if we're getting, you know we're going to go off on a little different tangent, but some of them are the ones where they started the mongols. A lot of the mongols are people that came back and a lot of bikers I wouldn't say just specifically mongols, but some of them are retired, uh, veterans that served in our in a war and stuff, and they wanted another community, another purpose, right, not that that was the right way.
Speaker 2:Some of them are criminal Enterprises, some of them are not whatever but yeah yeah, I don't, yeah, I won't speak on anything, uh, outside of myself. In that regard, you know what I mean. That's not my place about the Mongolians, that's not my business. I will say this um, that example that you used, right, a lack of purpose.
Speaker 2:If you have those childhood traumas that have not been resolved, that's where addiction kicks in. Because you want to numb the pain through alcohol, through drugs, through sex, through food, through work you know being working all the time to avoid sitting with those feelings because you don't have the tools to navigate that. That's where addiction comes in. Yeah, you know, if you have that childhood trauma, and so that's the dangerous thing. But and also like, yes, a lot of soldiers that come back from war, they miss that brotherhood or sisterhood, that belonging, that purpose, and and and they do come back to society, they do ride motorcycles and they do feel like they want to live outside the law. In that example you used Right, right, because they do have that brotherhood, right, that is undeniable.
Speaker 1:Like I've. But they that, that they got from the military. Yeah, but that, yeah, but that goes that goes back to world war. Right world war ii, um, you know, yeah, yeah yeah, but. And so, um, but you know to answer your question of, like you know, if that got taken away, I think I was already instilled that by my dad or whatnot. That's what I believe happened, right, yeah, what your dad instilled that in you correct that they've taken out the trash and that I'll take it deeper?
Speaker 2:yeah, right, because and I want to cut you off because that's okay, because I but I want to take, take you deeper on that because, uh, there's a book that I'm still it's taking me forever to get through because it's kind of heavy dr seuss, the untethered soul by I think, michael singer is the name. I've heard, I've heard the untethered soul it's a heavy read no, it's not dr stews, green alien ham.
Speaker 2:No, okay, it's, it's a heavy, it's, it's, it's a lot to digest, and I find myself reading the same page multiple times. But he, he goes to that question of like, who are you? You're not even your thoughts, like, like, who are you? It's the center of self, like you said, your dad instilled that in you. Your dad instilled that. But but who the f? Are you? I think once, once you can uh unpack that dude like that changes the game then you realize a lot to unpack there, right you've been, then you, then we can realize we've been living in, in like a limited state with regard to our goals and aspirations.
Speaker 2:that you realize, like, what am I afraid of? Like, right, those are all kind of thoughts that were already fed to me. You know, it's like and they talk about it in the book of the four agreements too is like all this conditioning that we're fed all the shit you see on tv, all the shit with the elections, and it's like I don't have time for all that. Yeah, you know and I digress.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, you can't take, look, I get where you're coming from. You can't take that away, though, right, I mean you instilled.
Speaker 1:It's impossible, right, you instill certain certain things in your kids that you, you know, you, you instill, whether it be a certain faith, religion, whether it be certain, uh, things of taking out the trash, like my dad, right, and all that. So it's impossible to to do that, right? Yeah, it's how we react to that and how we take it and how we move forward with it. That that's most important, obviously. Yeah, um, but you said something about addiction and um, about addiction is almost like a nasty word, right? You think so? Well, I think people more, I would say most people, not everyone think of addiction as a substance abuse or something. If I were to say, man, you're addicted, or addiction, they would think alcohol, drugs, prescription pills, something negative rather than something positive. Because I think addiction well, first of all. Do you think addiction is a disease? No, or do you think it's different than a disease?
Speaker 2:Let me just kind of paraphrase what Dr Gabor Mate Gabor, I believe he says addiction is manifested in any behavior where a person finds temporary pleasure and relief and then craves it, but then suffers negative consequences and can't give it up. And that could be any behavior.
Speaker 1:Are you addicted to working out?
Speaker 2:He spoke about good addictions Right so. Cause see that there are no, that's not in his, that's that he talks about. No, I know, but in his definition we just said there was nothing positive, correct, so there is addictions that are healthy, correct, yeah Right, I think, as long as there's no negative consequence, like it doesn't hamper my my voice just cracked. It doesn't hamper, it makes me purposeful and intentional. Right, the mental health component, like there's so many healthy things to it, it's a positive.
Speaker 2:So let me give you an example If you eat, yeah, is that an addiction?
Speaker 1:I mean just, if you overdo it and it becomes negative. Yes, yes, overeating, but you have to eat to live. You have to exercise to live. Some people need to overeat to gain weight, though.
Speaker 2:Whatever the case may be, no, I'm just saying yeah.
Speaker 1:But I think you're right. If it's negative, taking over your life, you can't control it. If there's certain things and aspects, there's several factors there, then it becomes a problem.
Speaker 2:But addiction is, in my opinion, not a disease. No, it's tied because you said you think it's a disease. No, I don't think it's.
Speaker 1:No, I'm asking you?
Speaker 2:I think, again, it's tied to your childhood development. Yeah, and if you were not given healthy emotional fostering, then that is the blueprint for addiction, because addiction is longing for love. Essentially, you're craving the support and you're leaning on those vices, those escapisms, to give you that, that temporary pleasure. And there's actually he talks about this and I'm going to speak out of pocket because I don't even really understand all of it yet the physiological component with regard to endorphins, yeah, and how these addictions are a supplement to those endorphins that should have been established early on as childhood from healthy emotional fostering, early on as childhood from healthy emotional fostering. And when you don't get that, those vices, the drugs, alcohols, whatever it may be, the addictions replace that, they supplement that, and so that's that's as I understand it.
Speaker 1:Well, I believe we're all. Every human being is hedonistic, is hedonistic. We all have a hedonism in us, a pleasure-seeking personality or characteristic in us. We, as humans, want to be happy all the time. We long for love, happiness, enjoyment, almost like and I'm going to say it, but almost like a dog wants you to pet it and he's just fucking the tail of his wagon. Okay, something, whether it be an activity, a substance, a prescription, something that is giving you, that is making you better in a certain way. And there's that high of it hitting a home run, belonging to a team being the champion on that, that's a high that's different. That can't just be. I can't tell you about it. You have to. You have to be Freddie Freeman hitting that ball, nobody else, I don't care if you were in that stadium, that was a different high. But Freddie Freeman felt the home run, grand slam, right. And we're talking about the Dodgers, hey, so World champion.
Speaker 2:Don't forget that World champs 2024 and 2020.
Speaker 1:Yes, fyi, yeah, but. But If we have that and we're searching and seeking happiness and hedonistic values or characteristics at all times, when we get a certain thing that elevates that emotional state, it becomes addiction. Whether you use it or whether it's positive or negative, is a different. Aspects Like and we'll talk about it right now like porn or you know, let's just talk about sex, orgasm or ejaculation and all that. It is a different form that can't be done until it's physically done, that you get a high from. And if you get addicted to that is a problem, right, but it's an emotional state.
Speaker 2:Well, there's so many layers to that. Right now there's so many layers.
Speaker 2:But I don't. I think if a person heals, if they do the work, they understand that. Correct, ongoing hat, like being happy all the time, is not a reality. Correct, being happy all the time is not a reality. Correct, because you know there is polarity in everything that we do in life and in the universe. Yeah Right, you understand that you're not always going to be happy, you are going to have storms and sometimes you're just going to be in the middle ground level. But when you understand that life is impermanent, when you understand life there's impermanence in the world, nothing is forever, when you understand that, it actually makes you appreciate the highs that much better. And when you're in the lows, you have the perspective to say I'm going to ride the storm out, because I understand that this is not going to last forever. So that's why this work is so important. Is is to is to work on yourself, because you understand that none of those things are permanent. This like this, this kind of concept that we are always, we always want to be happy, it's not it.
Speaker 1:I think that speaks to someone that really isn't really doing the work on themselves, to be honest, 100 and then, that's the hard part, because you know, I've heard this before, uh, in different podcasts, and people and says dude, uh, you know. Just to explain what hedonism is in a dictionary sense, it's a pursuit of pleasure and sensual self-indulgence, right? But human beings, if you really look at it, we're in the pursuit of happiness, right In, like the movie. But I think you're right 100% If you think that all the time we're missing the point that there is going to be hard times, that there's going to be great times, there's going to be middle time and there's going to be low times. You know.
Speaker 2:Yes, what did you say about the self right now in that definition? Yeah, yes.
Speaker 1:What did you say about the self right now in that definition?
Speaker 2:Yeah, the definition for hedonism is the pursuit of pleasure, sensual self-indulgence, self. But I'm of the opinion, right, when you're feeling down and out, when I'm feeling down and out, I try to do something kind for somebody else, be of service to others, and that will elevate you to a place of gratitude and happiness outside of self, but that started with you from within. Connection I was trying to make right now because, um, being of service to others, I think, is a foundational component of being like living a happy life. Right to understand that it's a choice that you're going to make to live in a certain way and to to be of help to others. That's why I tell my, my daughter, that, too, right, it's like, if you're feeling down out, go do something nice for somebody, and I asked her how does that make you feel? It makes me feel good. I said, there it is. That's the key. How do you feel, caesar, when you're helping young kids, talking to them? Honestly, it makes you feel pretty fucking good. Right, I know? Yeah, right, so it's being of service.
Speaker 2:That's how this fucking thing works, this thing we call call life. Yeah, right, it's not. It's not the money, it's not the clothes, the cars, the house, it's none of that. Those are materialistic things that are fleeting, that bring fleeting feelings, yeah, but the relationships that you build based on a being of service, those are, man, those. I think about those things all the time. Yeah, right that people remember how you treated them, not what you, what you bought them. Right, how did you treat them? Damn, I shouldn't have given the candy for Halloween, that's right. You know, maybe I'm going off tangent.
Speaker 1:No, no, no no, no, no, no, no, no, no all that, but I have a question. So why do you think that? Because I, you know, I wondered some of the things in questions. I ask you, I ask myself and it's good to obviously bounce things off of you as well and others but why do you think that society, or doctors or and we talked about how I feel about doctors say addiction is a disease, and you and I are sitting here saying it's not a disease?
Speaker 2:I can't speak to that. I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know why I haven't heard that you haven't heard that addiction is a disease. I hear it all the time. Addiction, you know, when I see shows or something, doctors will say addiction is a disease. Alcoholics will say you know, you guys don't understand, it's a disease.
Speaker 2:Because I think that's based on a faulty understanding of where it comes from. And Dr Gobert, I think that's his name, or Marte, Marte, whatever.
Speaker 1:Another name we can't pronounce. No same doctor oh same doctor.
Speaker 2:Now you can See it's built on, I think, on a false understanding of the issues, especially in Western medicine, correct?
Speaker 1:Yeah. I mean like I said you and. I don't believe that it's a disease. I mean, I don't think so.
Speaker 2:I am a firm believer and according to this doctor as well, who I value his position it really comes from childhood development. Yeah, if I raise you to be like, have a healthy respect for yourself and understanding of yourself, you're going to carry that on in your relationship as you get older and you're not going to need vices or escapisms to soothe you, because you know that everything that you have is within yourself. You know what I mean. So it's you know I stand corrected, I, I have heard that. I have heard that because I I don't know. I just think it is built on a falsely understanding in western culture, western medicine in particular yeah, I mean, I'll give you a perfect example.
Speaker 1:Uh, I have a friend who's uh goes to a meetings every week. He's been doing that for 15 years, never had a drink, dealt with addiction of alcohol as a means to, like you said, escapism and many different things, and his frame of thinking is I need to go every week, I need to be at my AA meetings, I cannot miss, and that's what gets me through this addiction, he says, and he believes it's a disease. Where then I have another buddy who used to drink, get out of control, whatnot, and said I just don't want to be that person anymore and I'm tired of being that person and I did some shit. Nothing was coming good of it and I just decided to stop and I don't need it anymore and I'm going to move forward and carry my life forward. And 15, 20 years later, they're never drank and never, never, kind of like, oh my God, I need to call somebody and neither way. Either way, I'm not dogging either.
Speaker 1:I'm just using different examples of how you deal with it and how you want right. Some people deal with emotions and want to talk about it. Some people suppress I'm not saying that's right or wrong want to talk about it. Some people suppress. I'm not saying that's right or wrong. All I'm saying is that these two different people from different things. Because if it was a disease and you had an addiction disease, then there's a cure for it or there's a way to deal with the diseases. But I don't believe it is. I believe it's different ways that you handle it and educate yourself from it and learn from it and find a way for yourself of how to deal with it. Right To move forward in a healthy way.
Speaker 2:But yeah, no, I agree, you know, I agree, I look at, I look at, like, my past with respect to like alcohol.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I look at moments in my life where, shit me too where things like didn't go well, yeah, whether it was an argument, a fight, you know, being out somewhere, yeah, um, or looking at my friends in certain situations, duis, alcohol is present. In those situations like alcohol is it's and I'm not shitting on it because you know, I know that you and I have these discussions and we, we, we struggle with the social part of it even, yeah, you know, that's to each their own, but I, you know, for me, I had to look at all those things and and it really made me scale back a lot, right, you know, and I had asked was like what, what, what am I using this for? Yeah, you know, and so, um, I lost my train of thought, but basically, alcohol was present. Anything negative that ever happened in my life, yeah, whether it was growing up, you know, high school, college, alcohol was present and nothing good came from it. Right, you know so?
Speaker 1:yeah, I. The only thing that I can say that alcohol gave me, which was pretty good, was recently. Two times it happened, so I ain't bullshit. This is based on factual uh let me hear.
Speaker 2:You want to hear it? Yeah, I want to hear. What did alcohol?
Speaker 1:give you the fact only yeah, no, no, no, I got a fatty liver because that shit, this is the thing you ready.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had covid two years ago, so covid came on 2020 of march, or whatever that well around 20 I think it was 2019, 2020 they said, hey, it's year it got blown up, everything the world stopped, kind of deal. I didn't get it until 2022 and uh, I had set up, uh, a day of friends going to san anita racetrack. And uh, I set this thing up and I got sick like three days before and I'm like, holy shit, is it covid? Because I hadn't had it and I knew it was different than flu and I tested. I tested positive. Shit, I can't cancel. I set this thing up, everybody's going. I'm going, but I'm getting better, right, but I think you have covid flu. You were that dude, right. So then I'm like I'm rolling, so we roll, I'm. I'm like I'm not gonna drink because I can't, because I have covid. I'm trying to get better, right. So I'm chilling people here hanging. I see a guy there that Bro. I got to interject.
Speaker 2:What you better fucking tell me you got that shit. I don't want to be around your ass.
Speaker 1:I got the code. Oh yeah, that was back then In the future, in the future, go ahead. So then I go. I see a guy that I didn't like, anybody friend that was there.
Speaker 1:Hey, what's up dude, what up man? Come on, let's go get a drink. And I'm like, oh well, I just hugged him the whole deal. And he wants to buy me a drink. And now if I tell him I had COVID, I just hugged him, why'd you hug me? You know, whatever, I'm like I'm putting the spot really quick, not thinking right, because you were drinking. No, I wasn't. I wasn't going to drink, I wasn't ready.
Speaker 1:But I just hugged him and then he said let's go get a drink. Come on, I'm me, I got you a drink and I'm like, well, if I tell him I got COVID, he's going to be like why'd you give me a hug?
Speaker 2:And what are you doing here?
Speaker 1:So I'm like I didn't tell the other people I'm already here incognito. So I'm like, yeah, let's go get a drink. I didn't even have a good excuse to be like, no, I'm not drinking right now. So he goes, what do you want? I'm like just a tequila shot. So I take a tequila and I boom, shoot it. Boom, that's all I'm drinking water. I got to buy him back a drink. So I go over there. What's up, man, my turn to buy a drink. Get a little tequila shot. Boom. You know what happened that night? Oh, here we go. Covid went away, okay, okay. The next day I woke up, boom Happened again. I went taking my daughter to school in Arizona.
Speaker 2:This is the next day.
Speaker 1:No, this is like a couple years later I got COVID again and I'm taking my daughter to school. Arizona driving I don't feel freaking good. I know I have to have COVID. I didn't take a test but I was feeling sick and kind of the same symptoms like last time. I knew it wasn't the flu. Shit. Help her.
Speaker 1:Move in, got to do what you got to do, right, the Arizona heat busting my ass. I just feel drained, tired, grouchy, just the whole deal. But I'm getting the job done. Move my daughter in, go get some food before we check into the hotel and I'm like I need a tequila shot and I need a beer. Got a tequila shot, boom, drank one beer. Lady comes back one more time. Let me get one more tequila shot. Drank the tequila shot, went to the hotel, checked in, slept for an hour, gone, gone like a new man, bro. I woke up. I'm like I got a golf thing tomorrow helping my daughter, my daughter's, like you were. What happened? I'm like I took two tequila shots and slept and I'm great. No more coping, no more feeling this way. Anyways, let's get back. Those were my two stories of saying that how alcohol is. But I didn't get drunk, right, I just had the two tequila shots and that's. And I always say tequila kills corona and it'll kill you too, but yeah I would.
Speaker 2:I would say what's the lesson in all this? Uh, stay home when you have covid or feel sick. Oh, that's the lesson I took from that. I have heard that if you're feeling ill, you take a shot. That's old, like Mexican, it is Mexican thing I don't think.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you know when you're feeling ill.
Speaker 2:If you got a cold coming on, take a shot. Tequila shot's supposed to make you feel better Allegedly supposedly, but you're.
Speaker 1:Now it's factual, allegedly, supposedly, but you're now it seems like you're. Exhibit a there you go, yeah, you got. I'm the test dummy. Exhibit c no negative self-talk. Hey, tequila, don julio, only two, fyi, I wonder why. Um, yeah, so you know, let's talk about again depression.
Speaker 1:Depression is, is, is one of those things that also a disease, right, mental health, basically, it's been. I don't feel that way, right? No, I don't feel that way either. But so this is the way I feel about depression, or addiction, or some of the stuff mental health and stuff, or addiction, or some of the stuff mental health and stuff.
Speaker 1:If you invest in yourself in so many different ways from other people from books, from podcasts, from life and you really have an awareness and understand what perspective is, you won't go through the stuff that people continue to use, I believe, as an excuse or a way to point the finger at something else of why they are where they're at or why they are who they are, why they are who they are. I believe that depression, addiction and things that go bad in people's life, and they use that as a disease or this and that point of finger is to soothe, to make themselves feel that they are not in control and that it's something or somebody else's or external factors fault, rather than they are taking ownership and responsibility for their actions is my belief in certain things.
Speaker 2:I know it might piss some people off, but there's a caveat to that and I think that's that there is, like grief, I think the passing of a, of a loved one or something like traumatic, like that, there is a natural grief process that can put you in that state. So I think that is part of the normal humanistic experience that we have here on earth. Right, someone passes, you're grieving, something tragic happened. I know, because I've been there and at that point I didn't have all the tools and I acted very erratically, right and so. But I think if you have the tools and you go through something difficult, it, you know you're still in that funk and it it's it's difficult to get out of that, but you also understand the.
Speaker 2:There's a seven stages of grief. I believe, right, there's a process to the, to the grieving process, if you will, and so having that perspective is a tool, because you know, okay, you know I have to live this way now, feeling this, but I know that with time the pain will be there, but I will be able to get back on my feet again. And then having a support group around you too, of loved ones, that that are there for you, is really important, right, because we all need connection, we all need community that helps us get through that, having someone. You know if I'm going through it, you're going to call me like come on, man, let's go out, let's go work out. I don't feel like Caesar, come on now, come on, let's go, let's get some sun, let's get some vitamin D, like. Those are the people that you need, that's your tribe, that you need around you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do those difficult times Right and so, yeah, yeah, I think that that there's another aspect to that. Like you said, there's there's grief and losing, the loss of somebody, but the mind, or the brain, is a muscle as well and we need to, we need to feed it in order to it, for it to grow right, um, and we need to feed it life lessons and education and dealing and and being with the tribe to educate yourself to continue to grow, and there's a chemical imbalance that I do believe that is an aspect of that as well, and when I say that, I say that right now we have a lot of mental health problems or things going on that are associated sometimes with homelessness and whatnot, and that is a chemical imbalance. And that is a chemical imbalance. I feel that the person has abused certain drugs of coping mechanisms that then start damaging the mind, the brain, like a muscle. Yeah, it's like if you eat too much sugar, you're going to get diabetes, right. If you don't work out, you're not going to grow muscles. Yeah, if, if you don't, uh, run or have a cardiovascular activity, your, your cardiovascular system is not going to get better. And so, in the mind, if you abuse it and put substance abuse of any kind into it, you, you start having a, I wouldn't say a weak brain, but a brain of a chemical imbalance that that's going to cause. Associated with that would be depression, addiction, lack of perspective or healthy, healthy mind. Let's just leave it that in general, of perspective or healthy, healthy mind. Let's just leave it that in general.
Speaker 1:And some people will say well, he, you know, he's got a, he's got a disease and all that. Well, he abused drugs for many years, many years. He abused drugs for many years, causing this thing to now be permanent. It's like the liver you abuse alcohol, you're going to get liver damage, you're going to create liver, you know, liver cirrhosis of the liver possibly. And it's the same thing with the brain and stuff that you abuse. And so that's one aspect of having bad mental health. People don't get it. You know. Alcohol what does it lead to? Alzheimer's. Right, it could lead to depression, alzheimer's and Not Alzheimer's, but Alzheimer's.
Speaker 1:Alzheimer's like me, the Alzheimer's, and Not Alzheimer's, but Alzheimer's Old-timers like me. The body keeps score, bro.
Speaker 2:It's like that book the Body Keeps Score. The Body Keeps Score, the Body Keeps Count, something like that. The body never forgets what you do to it. Yeah, I know you have some high school injuries that you still deal with now, right, seriously, no At college. Sorry to throw you that curveball. Seriously, no, no At college. All right, sorry to throw you that curveball, but I have some high school injuries.
Speaker 2:I got a hip pointer that, even though I treated it at the time, to this day, if I don't stretch properly, I feel that pinch in my hip, yeah, or even in my thumbs, because I was always jamming my thumbs in football. To this day, when I have the barbell on it, I can like it'll. After my workout, my thumbs will get like swollen, yeah, and that a lot of that stems from, well, some of its age arthritic, yeah, right but, but, but yeah, things that you've damaged throughout the age, it'll remember, like you said, it'll never forget, and the same thing applies for everything that we do on the inside of it.
Speaker 2:With respect to alcohol, well, you know, the body can heal certain parts of itself, but for the most part, like once you've damaged certain things. Yeah, I mean like you say yeah, ct.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean that's a big one going on now, like I just had a client who just canceled based on concussion. Uh, cheerleader, uh more mentioning names and whatnot, but uh, she's the one that throws people up actually she got kicked in the head kicked or came down on the head or something. So doctor said yeah, you have a concussion, I don't know how severe. Uh, out for two weeks, kind of you know that didn't happen back in the day with you and I you know, I remember running it I remember running into a fence with my head because we didn't have enough helmets for our practice team.
Speaker 1:That explains a lot to me right now.
Speaker 1:I knew, see, I should have known that a lot, I know how smart I am and not sensitive to me, um, but I you know, and that's what I think and and I you know, in saying this, to give advice to people rather than just talking about it, please make sure that you invest in your mind, in your body and in your soul, in the mind.
Speaker 1:Make sure that you invest in your mind, in your body and in your soul, in the mind. Make sure that you're learning, you're experiencing, you're growing, you're having amazing dialogue, you're meeting people, you're asking questions, that you're not the smartest in the room, not the smartest in the room, that you continue to invest in your mind. It is the most powerful thing that you have and it really puts you on the track in where you want to go, in a healthy perspective, and it's most important that you invest in that. You know people will say in baseball, you know they have a hitting coach, a pitching coach, a fielding coach, a strength and conditioning coach and all that, but nobody has a mental coach. And baseball and softballs, they say 90% mental yeah, because you fail all the time, yeah, and nobody has that.
Speaker 2:Nobody's going to a mental coach. You know they are nowadays on social media. If you look at social media, there's these coaches now that are doing this. Oh yeah, this is like, from what I'm seeing at least, you know that's a component of the game that I think yeah, you're right has been left kind of untouched, yeah, um, formally at least. But I think now I think you're starting to see more of that.
Speaker 2:I think, as more and more people are doing the work on themselves, social media has done a great job of promoting that and self-improvement, growth mindset, that kind of thing. I think that's the key to all this is staying in a growth mindset, to be better, to cut the fat from things that are not serving you right, taking an inventory of all the things in your life that are not serving your greater purpose, your well-being, eliminating those things right and doing the things that bring you peace and a certain amount of pleasure right Healthy pleasure, if you will. So I think so many of us have been operating in this survival state and we're in toxic environments and we think that's normal and we think that's healthy because that's normalizing stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah and we're, because we think you know we're used to that. Yeah, if you have domestic violence in the house, if, if you have alcoholism, drug abuse in the house, eating disorders in the house, and so if you don't address those things, you're going to get that in your relationships Right, and the relationship is mirroring back to you all the things within yourself that that you need to resolve, because they're all mirrors. Relationships Every relationship is a mirror. When you're triggered. Resolve, because they're all mirrors. Relationships, every relationship is a mirror.
Speaker 2:When you're triggered, it's because that person is showing you something within yourself that is unsettled, that hasn't been healed. That trauma, yeah, and so you can fix those things. Reparent yourself. Then you can raise your kids with healthy attachment styles so that they don't have that blueprint for addiction, yeah, right, so that they can find authenticity and purpose in their life. Then they know that's tied within themselves, so that they don't hit a depressive state for an ongoing period of time, extended period of time, so that they know all right, this is a storm, but my mom and dad showed me how to navigate this because they've reparented themselves. That's how you stop generational trauma. Yeah, you're no longer in a scarcity mindset, you're in a growth mindset, you're thriving as a person, and then that's how you tap into your real purpose. That's how you take a career path or you do something purposeful in your life that is not based on money, but it's based on if I didn't get paid for this, I would still do it and I'd love it.
Speaker 1:And that's how you track the abundance in your life, right yeah, 100, um, yeah, and that that goes, uh, together with the body. Right, we talked, I just spoke, on the mind, the body and the soul. And it's the same thing. You, you strain a muscle from working out Because you're actually straining it and tearing muscle fibers, and you go to sleep, you feed it and it starts repairing and it grows. And the same thing with the mind. You're growing up in a certain way that, like you said, you see a relationship that's abusive or not, and you have to learn from that because it's a mirror and you have to grow and educate yourself and invest in order to heal from that and move forward.
Speaker 1:And then the last thing we talked about obviously was well, for me it was, you know, the soul. And the soul is kind of funny because people say what do you mean by that? And I'm like it's the part that you're at peace with. It's a part where, like you said, you would do something because you're passionate about it and don't have to get paid. It's the feel good thing, that food that you're giving up and being staying disciplined because you, you care about your health so much. But then you're, I can have a little bit of it because I've earned it and because I want to, and because it feeds the soul, the inner feeling. It's a more of a feeling, right? And if you don't, if I believe, if you just are one way and strict, and I'm not doing that, that's all. That's an addiction, right?
Speaker 2:There's a balance there that has to be given to yourself, allowed to happen, I think, when you start, when people start looking at it as one way, right, that's, I think, when that's still the ego is still heavily in charge, right there, it's still heavily driving the cart, when you're so not open to another possibility. And you know, and the ego I'm sorry, the soul, I think is also that little voice in your head that is telling you that is actually, you know we've used this analogy before. When you go bowling with kids and they have the bumpers, that's like the soul will tell you, don't make that decision. It'll tell you, you know, make a left right here, don't go that way. If you listen to that instinctual voice, that is actually what we really need to tap into. That is what our soul is saying this is the path. That's like the sixth sense. Almost you're saying, dude, that is it, yeah, and we ignore it all the time and that's what causes a lot of pain, that's what causes us to be out of alignment, is ignoring that that voice.
Speaker 2:Women have, you know, women's intuition. That's, that's the same thing. I mean. Women do have, I believe, do have kind of this, this instinct. But men have it too. They're good detectives, yeah, yeah, men have it too. We have to listen to that. I think I've gotten better through meditation to like listen to that. What do you think is the?
Speaker 1:blockage the ego, you know, towards listening to that. Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's ego, because when you're in survival state, yeah you, that's protected you.
Speaker 1:And so that's why women probably don't. They don't have as much ego. You know what and what we're talking? About I'm healthy or healthy ego, right, so you need some ego, but we're talking about the ego of like.
Speaker 2:This is what resolving the trauma does. It allows you to break down these these, these egotistical walls, these these defense mechanisms that we've lived on, and you know you have to honor that because it's gotten you to the point where you're at. But once you can get to a place where you know that I can be vulnerable here because I've done the work to resolve and I know resolve this issue, I know where it comes from then you can move more authentically, man and so, and you can listen to really that soul, that voice. You can listen to that and be like you know what. This is the path I'm going to take. I don't care if hundreds of other people are going this way. Something within me tells me I need to go this way. Yeah right, whatever your passion may be, it's tied to what your soul, some, you know, your vibe, your vibe, your purpose, energy, whatever it is, you know, um, you tap into that thing that really drives you that's why I drank those two tequila shots and my soul told me it.
Speaker 1:No, the question I had for you, the question I had for you, and thank you for bringing this up all right.
Speaker 2:You said I needed it. Why did you feel you needed it? Opposed to stepping back and saying why, why do I need it? Like okay.
Speaker 1:Like. So the first time I didn't want it, it was impulsive. Well, the first time, yeah, it was kind of like I like you know when you're talking to you.
Speaker 2:There was a voice talking to you the first time, yeah, when that guy was like like, uh, let's have a shot. Like there is a voice telling you no, correct?
Speaker 1:that's the voice you listen to 100. But I felt at that point shit, I don't want to let anybody know I'm in trouble. Why noble? Yeah, like because it's a house built on you know what's that saying house built on life you know deck of cards yeah because it started off with the lie it started on mike's going out. Yeah, what's going on? I don't know. You know what it is. It's I'm muting your ass. Yeah, are you? No, I'm just kidding. I think when we both talk like bam, yeah, don't talk, bro Hard.
Speaker 2:Hey, don't talk Hard. Start off with a lot. You're 100. That led to me carrying covered no, right, no, which which is a story you've created, but did, though, but it did, did it because you said before that second time you started to feel better.
Speaker 1:That's why you went no, I went because I was already committed. I went because I had already invited people. I was the head, the host of this event right, but you know what shit happens sometimes.
Speaker 2:You got to be like you know what? I'm sick, I can't go. Yeah, you know, but you guys are 100.
Speaker 1:No, I, I let my ego go. I'm the host of course.
Speaker 2:100 I I truly, you know yeah, yeah, break that shit down, bro break it down the second time.
Speaker 1:The second time I made a conscious decision. Actually I wasn't thinking, oh, the the, the same thing. I wasn't thinking the tequila is going to cure the salsa, because I had forgot about it actually. But then when I did, I'm like it happened last time, so hopefully it happens this time.
Speaker 2:And it did, yeah, but anyways, yeah, I've heard that, I've heard that a shot the guy is. Yeah, you never heard that.
Speaker 1:It's big in like mexican culture, bro, my but my grandfather used to do was take a shot of tequila before you go to sleep every night, and they say it's really good for the heart and and whatnot, and he lived to be 92 years old or something yeah, but he also, I'm sure, didn't eat all the processed shit that we wanted well, he didn't drink. The only thing he drank was at night a little.
Speaker 2:He only drank Sounds like he drank seven days a week Wow.
Speaker 1:Respect. With all due respect, my mic's going out, bro. You're too loud.
Speaker 2:Bro, you're too loud, turn the fucking mic up, let's see oh, come on, dog, You've been holding out with the claps and shit. Ooh the music on dog.
Speaker 1:You've been holding out with the claps and shit. Ooh, the music. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, but we had a really healthy dialogue and conversation today. I really enjoyed it, me too. I hope that people enjoyed it and took something from this. I know I always do every time you're on the show and, whether you're on the show or not, we see each other.
Speaker 1:Every week your daughter comes over here. I'm super blessed. Thank you very much for entrusting, first of all, in me the strength and conditioning part and some of the mind part that we talk about that I deal with. She's an amazing young lady, by the way, thank you. It's cool to have have conversation with her, because she's so reserved, you know, and, uh, to get sometimes I I find the right trigger, I would say, to open her up a little bit, talk about school or soccer or something going on to the weekend, and it's cool, um, but she works hard and she's changed from day one where almost she didn't want to be here, yeah, to now, uh, like you said, I think a perfect example would be thanks, uh, not thanks. Um, halloween, I was gonna cancel because I'm thinking our kids are gonna go so and so and I said, hey, it's up to you. And you said she wants to go and I was like, yeah, she wants to go. Yeah, that's awesome yeah, so you.
Speaker 2:What you don't know too, is she's actually been doing her training before she goes to see you too, like her touches and stuff. Yeah, or she'll go home and she'll do her touches after she trains with you. Her soccer touches her ball touches.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know that she never used to do that.
Speaker 2:And now she's like I think she's seen the impact. You know, doing the training with you, the plyometrics and all that and all that, uh, working on her form, her gate and all that. She's seen the difference now in the game and it's feeding her confidence Right, and you talked about it, yeah, when you brought it.
Speaker 1:You're like she needs more confidence. I'm like. Well, one of my favorite quotes that I told you and I've probably said it here before is confidence increases in direct proportion to the amount of preparation put into your endeavor. And the more she's come here and the more she's touched the ball and come here and played and whatnot, she's getting more confident. She's coming into herself and you know what she's doing very, very good. I'm blessed to have her here.
Speaker 2:You know what, man? Thank you for having her and I'm grateful to you for that. Thank you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what do we want to leave off of here? Do you have anything else here you want to leave to the people here?
Speaker 2:It's good to be back for this episode and pontificating here and chopping it up, so I appreciate it, always appreciate this forum for two men to just have a dialogue about trying to be better, better men, better people, because I think there's definitely a need for it. Yeah, particularly young men. Yeah, I'm finding myself personally more looking at that part of it. As you know, my son's a teenager now and seeing how he gets, uh, has certain emotional reactions to things and how to navigate that, I think for me, that's really where it's at right now for me. And, yeah, man, so you know, thank you, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and to everybody listening out there look, we had an amazing dialogue and you're not going to agree with probably some of the stuff we said and you might think differently, and that's that's your opinion. That's fine of the stuff we said and you might think differently, and that's that's your opinion. That's fine. But if you do need or searching somebody to talk to, are going through something yourself, you know you can always dm me at uag fit. You can reach out to me in any which way we can talk.
Speaker 1:Um, I'm here to have dialogue, not that my way is right, not that EAS way is right or whatnot, but, um, we can learn from each other and have a dialogue and grow uh together, and that's what it's all about, and so I'm always available at any time. I think that's my purpose. One of my purposes is to to continue to grow and and to experience and then pass it on Um, and and you can reach out to me that way. So, yeah, yeah, but thank you, man, thank you for coming on. I appreciate it, my pleasure, thank you. And remember everybody you know as, as you guys navigate through this thing called life, as we talked about, uh, remember you can't be broken. Yes, sir.
