A MOMENT OF ESSENCE: From Pain to Purpose- EA Essence's Path to a Purposeful Life

Get ready to embark on a powerful journey of transformation and personal growth. I am your guest host, EA Essence, and I'm inviting you to listen in as I unravel the journey of my personal development, which began back in 2019. I'll be getting candid about my pivotal moments, the pain, and the triumphs, all while shedding light on the often misunderstood concept of inner work.

In the first part of this special edition of the Can't Be Broken podcast, we'll delve into the tools and techniques I used to transition from living in heavy ego, detached from my essence, to embracing a more purposeful and genuine life. We'll touch upon aspects like self-love, setting boundaries, the dangers of escapism and the importance of confronting our pain instead of evading it. The latter half of the episode will empower you to seize control of your life, discussing the need for discipline, commitment, and the courage to seek help. By the end of this conversation, you'll be armed with insights to discover your voice and create the life you desire. It might be uncomfortable and even painful at times, but remember - the rewards are immeasurable. So, let's tune in and take the first step towards a more authentic and purposeful life, together.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Campy Broken podcast special edition with your guest host, ea Essence. And this is A Moment of Essence. Now you all may be wondering where is Caesar Martinez, aka Sea Monster? Well, he is south of the border, living his best life on vacation. So here's to you, caesar. Hope you and the wifey are having a blast and sure you are Wanted to jump on here.

Speaker 1: 0:28

Caesar and I had been talking for some time about myself doing a segment, what I'd like to call a moment of essence, and just speaking a little bit about the inner work and what that is, what that looked like for me and why I've embarked on this journey with the intention and hope of helping others. I know Caesar and I we've talked a lot about terms like self love, ego, boundaries, grit, overcoming adversity, and all those terms are significant to just being a better person. But on jumping on here today and thinking, I wanted to look at it from a perspective of inner work, one on one type of perspective and how this can be of utmost service to others, paralleling that to my own journey, which started in December of 2019, you know, again with the intention of trying to help others, particularly men. This is for everyone, men and women, but men in particular, because so many of us as men we exist each day in heavy ego, in this machismo, detached from our essence, who we really are as souls, and from really living a life of love and purpose. And I know that because I was that guy and it brought a lot of pain to not just myself but the people that I loved my wife and my children, as well as my folks and my family and friends that really really loved me and cared about me. So some of the things I'll highlight today, really for me they were introductory and laid the foundation for living authentically and aligned and in purpose.

Speaker 1: 1:48

And today I find myself in a much better place, thankfully, and really experiencing peace in my life, fulfillment and lots of love. And so I have these conversations a lot with people that are curious. So what does the inner work look like? What is that? Can you talk to me about that? And it's like where do I start, kind of thing For me. I told myself how the fuck did I get to this dark place? And I'm never coming back here again. It was my rock bottom. I was separated from my wife, felt like I was losing my family and really all the people that I thought were supporters of me, that didn't want to, didn't know how to, to show up for their own reasons, and that's fine. So I really felt isolated and alone and lost.

Speaker 1: 2:38

And it began with a book called Care Package by author named Sylvester Bignut, and in that book I began to learn about self-love, about boundaries, escapisms, facing the pain, not running away from the pain or the things our shadows at bring a shame, guilt that we've buried in the subconscious, but facing it and doing the dirty work necessary to resolve it and to show up grounded, authentic and in a line alignment with being a better man. So most people, most of us and I did this for many years. I ran from that through alcohol and other what I would term escapisms which you've heard me talk about on other episodes, and not that I was a heavy drinker, not that I am a heavy drinker by any means but it was a conduit to kind of a lower vibrational state and decision making was poor and it just caused a lot of hurt. So I was operating like this throughout my teenage years and up until my 40s, essentially, and I had to be very inquisitive about my emotional state. I delved into a cohort or a group known as a blueprint. So some of what I'm sharing today will be based off of and I got to give credit here to a gentleman by the name of Miles Scott, who you know who I'm going to share some of these like foundational principles here today. With that really laid additional groundwork based off that book and moving forward on my inner journey.

Speaker 1: 4:22

So I had to get really inquisitive about why I was being triggered, why I was making the decisions I was making, and I wanted to resolve and rectify those because I didn't want to make those decisions again. I wanted to live a more purposeful life. So it's hard, it's uncomfortable work and most people quit because it is painful. You know they'd rather have a cocktail than to really face those demons and they resist a deeper level of understanding of themselves. But I knew that I wanted to get to a stage of really full acceptance of who I was, my shadows and my light. So we have to be courageous and we have to ask ourselves why do I feel anger in this moment? Why do I feel rejected? What am I projecting onto the situation? That isn't true. What story am I creating around a particular situation or person? That is not true.

Speaker 1: 5:20

So I had to get really curious about my emotions, and a lot of it is really based on how I internalize past traumas growing up. Right, no one teaches us most of the time how to resolve these traumas. We don't have the tools, and so what happens is we bury it and then we act and react, we get defensive, we carry those things into our adult life, into our relationships, and we show up with that foot forward. So I knew that was that was an aspect that I had to face. I had to take on what's called a witness perspective. I had to witness that painful stuff about me without becoming that pain. Why am I doing this Like? Why am I doing this work Like? This fucking sucks, this hurts, this pain that I'm feeling like I don't want to do with this.

Speaker 1: 6:18

So I had to learn, rather than to identify with that pain, I had to like, I had to just like watch it, like almost like I was watching a movie and know that I am, not my emotions, my thoughts or my behaviors. That was a really helpful tool for me is let me just step outside and just let me. Let me let this breathe a little bit. Let me just look at this. So that was number two. And number three was learning how to self-regulate through my breath, learning things like box breathing and how to calm my nervous system, how to regulate myself, how my emotions were making my body feel right. Because a lot of times when we're feeling some kind of way triggered, our body is telling us right away that's the first thing, that the first sign that something is off. Our heart beats quickly and we just feel off. So the breath work helps to regulate that.

Speaker 1: 7:18

Otherwise, we stay in this perpetual survival state. And when we're in that survival state, that's when we act out of pocket, that's when we behave in a way that's not aligned with the person that we want to be. And these are, these are things that actually and blessed now that I have this one tool that I can share with my kids when they're feeling anxious about something, I can actually practice this tool with my children. I love doing that because I feel like you know what I'm showing up. I'm reparenting myself and showing up in a way where I can actually help my kids with something that they have within themselves. It is not outside of them when you feel off or some kind of way. You have the tools within you to regulate yourself. And when you can regulate yourself, you can then make decisions and operate much more clearly and authentically, and that will expand us.

Speaker 1: 8:16

So breath work is number three. And number four giving ourselves grace. It's giving ourselves compassion, understanding and self forgiveness, for you know how we showed up in that particular situation. That was not a favorable or a positive outcome. Let's say it was the best decision that you made at that time with the skills that you had at that time. So it's being your best friend. Think about it in the context of being a best friend to someone and what you would say to them when they're going through a tough time or maybe they made a poor decision. It's being our own best friend and telling ourselves that, hey, it's going to be okay, but now we know, and now and then we can move forward and be better the next time this comes up.

Speaker 1: 9:08

It's that awareness, it's that compassion, it's that self forgiveness and their opportunities to grow and become more aware about our emotional states and how we are showing up. Also, it's awareness that you know we're battling a lifetime of habits that no longer serve us and knowing that it takes time to reprogram these habits so that they are healthier, purposeful and intentional and in alignment again. So giving ourselves grace and number five, remembering your why, like why are you doing it? When you get emotional and it hurts, it's painful and comfortable, you have to come back to your why to remind you that this pain is temporary, it's gonna go away, but stay in that pain so that you can resolve it and heal it. Understand it that way, when a situation comes up again where your face was similar triggers that it's not going to impact you the same way when you stay in that why. And so there was a lot of that reprogramming through my own experiences and really painful work through therapy as well, and you know I shared one piece of the process here, but there's so many tools out there that were utilized in my own journey that I'm sure many of you are also doing.

Speaker 1: 10:40

Obviously, physical activity is really important sunlight, eating properly, removing people in our lives that don't reinforce a life that we wanna live. Removing habits, removing foods, any activity that's not reinforcing the person that we want to become. We remove it and then habitually constructing the person that we want to become. So this is a foundational part for me and I can happily say that at this juncture in my life even though we know that the work never ends that I'm in a very good place and definitely feel like I can show up each day, grounded, being the best version that I can be, and sharing that man. Sharing this gift with others is just. I feel so grateful and blessed that I have these tools now that I can share it with other again, particularly with men, and just know that all the answers are within us, that we have everything that we need within, but we need to do that work to heal ourselves so that we can show up as the best version of ourselves.

Speaker 1: 11:50

I wanna leave you guys with a quote by Dr Joe Beam, and he says "'People don't change unless there hurts too much "'to remain the same'. Again, people don't change unless there hurts too much "'to remain the same'. What is your rock bottom? Only you know the answer to that. Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired Because no one is gonna come save you?

Speaker 1: 12:15

If there's a part of your life, or just your life in general, that you are not happy with, whether it be your finances, your fitness, your health, your relationship, where you live if you're not happy with that, then you do have control over how to improve that. We are not victims. Look at the parts, the immediate parts of your life where you have the ability to change something that doesn't support and reinforce the vision in life that you want, and that will require a different type of daily practice, one with discipline, commitment, because you're tired of being sick and tired and that may require us asking for help sometimes to learn some tools, some tools that maybe somebody has utilized in the past to change their lives. But you have a voice and you have control, and so I encourage each and every one of us to tap into that and to be committed to that process. So close with that. Thank you very much for listening to Moment of Essence. We'll see you in the next video.